Emotional Disturbances: Navigating Feelings of Anger and Disappointment - Psychiatry

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Emotional disorders


On Friday, my family asked me to accompany my sister to her elementary school's Mother's Day event because she wanted to go.
However, I wasn't very keen on attending.
Once we arrived at the school, I felt disappointed that none of my former teachers came to check on me.
After the performance, we went to the church to find my grandmother and also to get a ride home from the pastor.
However, the pastor was still chatting with some people, and I felt frustrated that he wasn't hurrying up because I wanted to go home and use the internet.
I found myself acting like a child, repeatedly urging him to hurry, which made me feel angry.
I also felt neglected by the pastor's wife, which I thought was really unfair.
Despite recognizing that my behavior was inappropriate, I noticed that it seemed to help me relax a bit.
My grandmother, however, was very disapproving of my actions and believed that there must be something wrong with my mind for me to behave like a child.

Han Yu, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/05/07

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry


Hello: It seems that you have been going through a tough time lately, and your feelings are quite sensitive.
I hope the people around you can pay more attention to you, as it is not easy to suppress negative emotions and behaviors.
You likely value those around you, which is why you hope they will notice you more, and they care about you as well, so they may perceive your emotional changes and wish for you to return to a more stable emotional state.
Although you may feel a bit relieved after expressing anger, those around you might be more worried or tense, and emotions can influence each other, potentially worsening the overall emotional climate in the long run.
It is advisable to find alternative ways to relieve your emotions, such as redirecting your attention, exercising, listening to music, writing, or drawing.
Your situation may be related to emotional disturbances, and if there is no improvement, it is recommended to seek medical assistance.
Wishing you all the best.

Reply Date: 2016/05/07

More Info


Understanding emotional disturbances, particularly feelings of anger and disappointment, is crucial for mental well-being. Your experience highlights a common struggle many face when dealing with unmet expectations and the resulting emotional responses.
From your description, it seems you felt compelled to attend an event that you were not particularly interested in, which can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration. This is a normal reaction when we feel obligated to participate in activities that do not align with our interests or desires. The disappointment you felt regarding the absence of your former teachers' support is also significant. It reflects a longing for validation and connection, which is a fundamental human need. When these needs are unmet, it can lead to feelings of sadness and anger.

Your reaction to the pastor's delay, where you expressed impatience and frustration, is another indicator of emotional disturbance. It is important to recognize that these feelings are valid, but how we express them can impact our relationships and self-perception. The feeling of being "childish" in your reactions may stem from a sense of losing control over your emotions, which can be distressing. It is essential to understand that feeling angry or disappointed does not make you a bad person; rather, it is a part of being human.

The fact that you felt a sense of relief after expressing your anger suggests that you may be using anger as a coping mechanism. While this can provide temporary relief, it is crucial to find healthier ways to manage and express your emotions. Anger often masks deeper feelings of hurt or disappointment, and addressing these underlying emotions can lead to more constructive outcomes.
Your grandmother's concern about your behavior indicates that those around you are noticing your emotional struggles. This external feedback can be helpful in recognizing patterns in your behavior that you might not be aware of. It may be beneficial to have open conversations with your family about how you are feeling, as this can foster understanding and support.

To navigate these emotional disturbances, consider implementing some strategies:
1. Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on what triggers your feelings of anger and disappointment. Journaling can be a helpful tool for this, allowing you to articulate your thoughts and feelings.

2. Healthy Expression: Instead of expressing anger through impatience or frustration, try to communicate your feelings calmly. Use "I" statements to express how you feel without blaming others (e.g., "I feel disappointed when I don't receive support from my teachers").

3. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practices such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can help you manage your emotions more effectively. These techniques can provide a sense of calm and help you respond to situations more thoughtfully.

4. Seek Support: If these feelings persist or worsen, consider speaking with a mental health professional. They can provide guidance and strategies tailored to your specific situation.

5. Engage in Activities You Enjoy: Find hobbies or activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. This can help counterbalance feelings of disappointment and provide a positive outlet for your emotions.

In conclusion, navigating feelings of anger and disappointment is a complex process that requires self-awareness and healthy coping strategies. By recognizing your emotions and finding constructive ways to express and manage them, you can improve your emotional well-being and strengthen your relationships with those around you. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and you do not have to face these challenges alone.

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