Ejaculation Issues During Intercourse: Causes and Solutions - Urology

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Sexual activity-related issues?


I would like to ask, when I have sex with my girlfriend, I always have difficulty ejaculating, but I can ejaculate when I masturbate.
What could be the reason for this? This has been bothering me for a long time.

weiwei, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/07/25

Dr. Chen Jiansheng reply Urology


Hello, sir: Most individuals in this situation tend to hold back ejaculation in an effort to perform well in front of their partner, which ultimately leads to excessive pressure on themselves.
It is advisable to adjust your mindset and relax appropriately.
- Dr.
Chen Chien-Sheng, Urology Department, Hsin Ying Hospital.

Reply Date: 2016/07/25

More Info


Ejaculation issues during intercourse can be a source of significant concern for many individuals, and it's important to understand that you are not alone in experiencing this. The phenomenon you're describing, where you can achieve ejaculation through masturbation but struggle to do so during intercourse, is known as "delayed ejaculation" or "inhibited ejaculation." This condition can arise from a variety of factors, both psychological and physiological.

Psychological Factors:
1. Performance Anxiety: One of the most common reasons for delayed ejaculation is anxiety related to sexual performance. The pressure to perform can lead to stress, which may inhibit your ability to ejaculate during intercourse.

2. Relationship Dynamics: Emotional factors related to your relationship with your partner can also play a role. If there are unresolved issues or if you feel insecure in the relationship, this can affect your sexual performance.

3. Focus and Distraction: During intercourse, you may find yourself preoccupied with thoughts about your performance or other distractions, which can interfere with the natural process of ejaculation.

Physiological Factors:
1. Hormonal Imbalances: Hormones play a crucial role in sexual function. Low testosterone levels or other hormonal imbalances can affect libido and ejaculation.

2. Nerve Damage: Conditions that affect the nervous system, such as diabetes or multiple sclerosis, can lead to nerve damage that impacts ejaculation.

3. Medications: Certain medications, particularly antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs, can have side effects that include delayed ejaculation. If you are taking any medications, it might be worth discussing this with your healthcare provider.

Solutions and Recommendations:
1. Open Communication: Talk to your partner about your concerns. Open communication can alleviate some of the pressure you may feel and help both of you understand each other's needs and feelings.

2. Relaxation Techniques: Consider practicing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or mindfulness meditation before engaging in sexual activity. This can help reduce anxiety and improve your overall sexual experience.

3. Seek Professional Help: If the issue persists, it may be beneficial to consult a healthcare professional or a sex therapist. They can help identify any underlying psychological or physiological issues and provide tailored strategies to address them.

4. Gradual Exposure: Sometimes, gradually increasing intimacy without the pressure of intercourse can help. This can include foreplay or other forms of sexual activity that allow you to feel more comfortable and relaxed.

5. Review Medications: If you suspect that your medications may be contributing to the issue, consult with your doctor. They may be able to adjust your dosage or switch you to a different medication that has fewer sexual side effects.

In conclusion, delayed ejaculation during intercourse can stem from a variety of factors, and addressing it often requires a multifaceted approach. By understanding the potential causes and exploring solutions, you can work towards improving your sexual health and enhancing your intimate relationship. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and many individuals experience similar challenges. You are not alone in this journey.

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