Negative emotions
Hello doctor, I am currently working part-time in the service industry and often face criticism from my supervisor.
I feel like I can't achieve perfection and constantly seek validation from others, hoping to receive praise.
It feels like I am forcing myself.
I also struggle to fit in with groups at school and have no outlet for my negative emotions.
Sometimes, I experience prolonged feelings of sadness.
Is my mental health okay?
Tiāntiān, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/07/29
Dr. Qiu Junda reply Psychiatry
Hello: It seems that you are someone who holds high expectations for yourself, which is certainly commendable.
However, I hope this does not lead to unhappiness or the negative emotions you mentioned.
I suggest you explore more resources on emotional intelligence (EQ) management to assist you.
If you don't mind, you could also consider visiting a mental health clinic for counseling and consultation (it doesn't have to be viewed as seeking treatment) to help improve your situation as soon as possible.
Reply Date: 2016/07/29
More Info
Hello! It sounds like you are going through a challenging time, and it's important to acknowledge that your feelings are valid. Many people experience negative emotions, especially in high-pressure environments like work and school. The desire for validation and perfection can lead to significant stress and emotional turmoil. Let's explore some coping strategies and insights into managing these feelings.
First, it's essential to understand that seeking external validation, such as praise from your boss or acceptance from peers, is a common human experience. However, relying too heavily on others for your self-worth can create a cycle of anxiety and disappointment. When you don't receive the affirmation you seek, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and sadness. This is particularly true in service-oriented jobs where feedback is often immediate and can be critical.
One effective strategy for coping with negative emotions is to practice self-compassion. This involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend. When you make a mistake or feel inadequate, instead of criticizing yourself, try to acknowledge your feelings without judgment. Remind yourself that everyone has flaws and that perfection is an unrealistic standard. You might say to yourself, "It's okay to not be perfect; I am doing my best."
Another helpful approach is to engage in mindfulness practices. Mindfulness involves being present in the moment and observing your thoughts and feelings without getting overwhelmed by them. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or even simple grounding exercises can help you manage anxiety and emotional distress. For instance, when you feel overwhelmed, take a few minutes to focus on your breath, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. This can help center your thoughts and reduce feelings of panic or sadness.
Additionally, consider finding healthy outlets for your emotions. Physical activity, such as walking, running, or yoga, can be incredibly beneficial for mental health. Exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood lifters. Creative activities, like drawing, writing, or playing music, can also provide a means of expression and help you process your feelings.
If you find that your negative emotions persist or worsen, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. A mental health professional can provide support and guidance tailored to your specific situation. They can help you explore the underlying causes of your feelings and develop coping strategies that work for you. Therapy can also provide a safe space to express your emotions and work through any challenges you face in your personal and professional life.
Lastly, remember that building connections with others can be a powerful way to combat feelings of isolation. While you mentioned difficulties in integrating into groups, consider reaching out to friends or colleagues for support. Sharing your experiences with someone you trust can help alleviate feelings of loneliness and provide perspective on your situation.
In summary, it's essential to recognize that your feelings are a normal part of the human experience. By practicing self-compassion, engaging in mindfulness, finding healthy outlets for your emotions, and seeking professional help if needed, you can develop effective coping strategies for managing negative emotions. Remember, it's okay to ask for help, and taking steps to care for your mental health is a sign of strength. You are not alone in this journey, and there are resources available to support you.
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