Managing Postpartum Anxiety: Overcoming Worries About Your Child's Health

Postpartum mood instability?

Hello Doctor, I just gave birth 15 days ago.
Before my pregnancy, I had some symptoms of health anxiety (I suspected dozens of diseases).
I had seen a doctor before, who believed I had obsessive-compulsive disorder rather than health anxiety.
Now, I find that my symptoms have shifted to concerns about my child.
I came across information online about a hereditary disease that has some features similar to mine, and I started to wonder if I carry that gene and whether it could be passed on to my child, who is not yet a month old.
Will I have to live with this doubt for the rest of my life? I mentioned this to my husband, and he said that my features do not completely match that hereditary disease, suggesting that I am being overly pessimistic and overthinking.
He also mentioned that my negative thoughts might affect the child.
My husband said there are countless diseases in the world, and if we worry about every single one, we would never stop worrying.
Our child will have their own life, and we just need to fulfill our responsibilities as parents.
Hearing this from him made me feel somewhat relieved, and I realized he was right, as many genetic diseases are caused by mutations that cannot be prevented.
I should try to be happier and worry less.
However, strangely, every night when I relax and go to sleep, I wake up the next morning with pessimistic thoughts and doubts about being ill, which starts a painful day for me.
Since giving birth, I have become very anxious; I have cried ten times in the past 15 days, worrying about my child's health and whether I can care for them as they grow old.
The postpartum care center is also quite boring, and my mother and mother-in-law often remind me not to watch TV, go online, or use my phone, so most of the time, I just lie there in a daze or ask the nurses to bring the baby to my room.
However, seeing the baby so adorable triggers my sadness, making me wonder if they will be healthy and safe.
I feel so distressed; these negative thoughts constantly flood my mind, pushing me into a tight corner.
I really want to go online and repeatedly search for health information, but often the more I search, the more worried I become.
(I actually think that the internet has worsened my health anxiety; I have a habit of searching online for any small issue, which leads to panic.) My husband has forbidden me from searching for health-related information online, and we agreed that I should not look anything up until the end of September; otherwise, he will cut off my internet access.
I am now trying to calm myself using Buddhist teachings.
I just read an article where Master Cheng Yen said we should bless our children instead of worrying about them, which makes sense to me, and I am trying to absorb and follow that.
However, the underlying panic and unfounded worries still lurk within me.
Doctor, what should I do? Should I stop searching for health information online? Would that be helpful for me?

A Yue, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/08/23

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry

Hello, whether it is obsessive-compulsive disorder, health anxiety, or even some forms of depression, there often arise compulsive worries or thoughts.
As your husband mentioned, if we really want to worry, there are thousands of diseases one could be concerned about, and we could worry endlessly.
Today we might worry about whether our child will get this particular illness, but there are so many other diseases we are not worrying about—what should we do about that? Does worrying about certain diseases reduce the likelihood of them occurring? Do the diseases we are unaware of, or those we know about but do not worry about, have a higher chance of happening? Is worrying even useful? I suggest you consider the following: If a problem has already occurred, and our worry is directed towards solving it, ultimately leading to actionable solutions, then that worry is indeed useful.
However, if the problem has not yet occurred, and it may or may not happen, and there are no preventive measures we can take, then that worry is ineffective.
In this case, if you prefer not to see a doctor or take medication, the best self-help method is to redirect your attention and not dwell on the worry.
The more you cling to it, the more it will grow into a larger monster of anxiety.
When you notice yourself thinking about it again, gently shift your focus elsewhere—stand up and look around, do a few deep breaths, call someone to chat, pick up a book to read (if you can't watch TV or go online right now), or take a walk nearby.
Additionally, from both religious and medical perspectives, illness is not predetermined by fate; genetic diseases are also not a certainty.
Your child's future does not necessarily mean they will develop any specific illness.
Moreover, with the rapid advancements in medicine, the future of disease treatment may reach levels we cannot even imagine today.
Maintaining a more optimistic attitude seems quite reasonable.
Wishing you all the best.
Sincerely, Dr.
Ding Shuo-Yan.

Reply Date: 2016/08/23

More Info

Postpartum anxiety is a common experience for many new mothers, and it can manifest in various ways, including excessive worrying about the health of your child. Your situation reflects a cycle of anxiety that can be exacerbated by the overwhelming nature of new motherhood, especially when combined with pre-existing tendencies toward health anxiety or obsessive-compulsive behaviors.

Firstly, it's important to acknowledge that your feelings are valid. The transition into motherhood can be both joyous and anxiety-inducing. The worries you have about your child's health, especially given your background of health anxiety, are not uncommon. Many new parents find themselves fixating on potential health issues, often fueled by information found online. This can lead to a cycle of anxiety where the more you search for information, the more anxious you become.

Your husband's perspective is also significant. He emphasizes the importance of focusing on what you can control and recognizing that worrying excessively about every potential health issue is not productive. This is a crucial point; while it's natural to want to protect your child, it's also essential to understand that not every health concern is a direct threat. Many genetic conditions are indeed complex and often depend on multiple factors, including environmental influences and random genetic mutations.

Here are some strategies to help manage your postpartum anxiety and worries about your child's health:
1. Limit Online Searches: As you've identified, searching for health information online can often lead to increased anxiety. Consider setting boundaries for yourself regarding internet use, especially concerning health-related topics. Your husband's suggestion to avoid searching until a specific date is a good start. Instead, focus on reliable sources of information when necessary, such as consulting with your pediatrician.

2. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Engaging in mindfulness practices can help ground you in the present moment and reduce anxiety. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can be beneficial. You mentioned trying to incorporate Buddhist teachings; this can be a great way to cultivate a more positive mindset and reduce worry.

3. Seek Support: Don't hesitate to reach out for support from friends, family, or support groups for new mothers. Sharing your feelings with others who understand can provide comfort and perspective. Additionally, consider discussing your feelings with a mental health professional who specializes in postpartum issues. Therapy can offer you tools to manage anxiety and help you process your feelings.

4. Focus on Self-Care: Taking care of yourself is crucial for your well-being and, by extension, your child's. Ensure you are getting enough rest, eating well, and finding time for activities that bring you joy. Engaging in hobbies or simply taking a walk can help shift your focus away from worries.

5. Challenge Negative Thoughts: When you find yourself spiraling into negative thoughts about your child's health, try to challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself if there is evidence to support your fears or if they are based on assumptions. Cognitive-behavioral techniques can be particularly effective in reframing negative thinking patterns.

6. Establish a Routine: Creating a daily routine can provide structure and predictability, which can be comforting during a time of change. Include time for self-care, relaxation, and activities that you enjoy.

7. Communicate with Your Partner: Keep an open line of communication with your husband about your feelings. His support can be invaluable, and discussing your worries together can help you feel less isolated.

In conclusion, while it's natural to worry about your child's health, it's essential to find a balance that allows you to care for your child without being overwhelmed by anxiety. By implementing these strategies, you can work towards managing your postpartum anxiety and fostering a more positive mindset for both you and your child. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and you don't have to navigate this journey alone.

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