Child Psychology: Seeking Counseling for Troubled Kids

Child Psychology

Hello, Doctor.
I'm the aunt.
The child is my sister's kid.
Since childhood, the child has been raised by their grandmother and me.
The child is from a single-parent family, and the mother has not been responsible for them.
In the 1st or 2nd grade, I discovered that the child was hiding their mother's underwear.
I talked to them about it, but nothing changed.
Recently, before the New Year, while cleaning and organizing clothes, I found that the child had hidden my underwear in their clothes.
Before I discovered this, I had asked the grandmother why my underwear was missing, but the child remained indifferent.
I thought that since they heard me ask the grandmother, they would take some action.
Before I discovered the situation, I had suspected that the child was involved, but I chose to believe in them and did not confront them.
I am wondering which counseling channels I should seek.
Does the child have significant emotional barriers? Now the child is in the 6th grade and will be entering middle school this year.
I am worried they might go down the wrong path, and communication during puberty is challenging.
It’s troubling for me as an aunt! The child has not grown up in a normal family and has no parents, which breaks my heart.
I would like to know if there are any free counseling services available for children or any other resources for guidance.
The child comes from a low-income background, and my financial situation is limited.
I apologize!

Xiao Mei, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2017/02/14

Dr. Wang Yazhen reply Psychiatry

Thank you for your question.
Even though the child exhibits behavior of hiding underwear, it is important to confirm whether there are subsequent actions that provoke sexual arousal, whether this has persisted for more than six months, and whether the child feels distressed about it, in order to determine if it is a case of fetishism.
Therefore, it is essential to clarify the meaning and intent behind the behavior.
Fetishism typically manifests during puberty, but tendencies may also begin in childhood, and if a habit has formed, it may become chronic.
It is recommended that the child undergo an evaluation and receive appropriate treatment (psychotherapy or medication).
The duration of treatment varies from person to person, and costs differ based on the treatment location.
Most hospitals can provide psychological treatment covered by health insurance, while some counseling centers or treatment foundations offer out-of-pocket psychological services.

Reply Date: 2017/02/14

More Info

Hello! It sounds like you're facing a challenging situation with your niece's child, and it's commendable that you're seeking help for him. Given the context you've provided, it seems that the child may be experiencing some emotional and behavioral difficulties, which could be linked to his upbringing and family dynamics.

Understanding the Situation
Children raised in non-traditional family structures, such as single-parent households or those with limited parental involvement, can sometimes exhibit behavioral issues or emotional distress. The fact that this child has been living with his grandmother and you, while his mother is not actively involved, may contribute to feelings of abandonment or insecurity. These feelings can manifest in various ways, including the behavior you've described, such as hiding personal items.

Behavioral Concerns
The act of hiding underwear could indicate a range of issues, from curiosity and exploration of boundaries to deeper emotional or psychological concerns. It’s essential to approach this behavior with sensitivity and understanding rather than judgment. Children often express their feelings through actions, especially when they may not have the vocabulary to articulate their emotions.

Seeking Professional Help
Given your concerns about the child's emotional well-being and the potential for more serious underlying issues, it would be wise to seek professional counseling. Here are some steps you can take:
1. Consult a Child Psychologist or Counselor: Look for a child psychologist who specializes in working with children from challenging backgrounds. They can provide a safe space for the child to express his feelings and help him develop coping strategies.

2. School Counseling Services: Many schools offer counseling services for students. Since the child is in sixth grade, he may have access to a school counselor who can provide support and guidance.

3. Community Resources: Check local community centers or non-profit organizations that offer free or low-cost mental health services. Many organizations have programs specifically designed for children and adolescents.

4. Hotlines and Online Resources: There are various hotlines and online resources available for parents and guardians seeking help for children. These can provide immediate support and guidance on how to approach the situation.

5. Family Therapy: If possible, consider family therapy. This can help address any underlying family dynamics that may be contributing to the child's behavior and provide a platform for open communication.

Importance of Early Intervention
It's crucial to address these issues early on, especially as the child approaches adolescence. Adolescence can be a tumultuous time, and children who have unresolved emotional issues may struggle more during this period. Early intervention can help mitigate potential problems and guide the child toward healthier coping mechanisms.

Conclusion
Your concern for this child is evident, and seeking help is a significant first step. Remember that children are resilient, and with the right support, they can overcome many challenges. Encourage open communication with the child, and let him know that it's okay to express his feelings. With professional guidance and a supportive environment, he can learn to navigate his emotions and develop healthier behaviors.
If you need assistance finding resources, consider reaching out to local mental health organizations or community centers that may have information on available services. Best of luck, and thank you for being such a caring figure in this child's life!

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