Emotional Instability: Coping with Family Mental Health Issues - Psychiatry

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Emotional instability


Hello, doctor.
This issue has troubled my mother, my brother, and me since we were young.
My father often gets into heated arguments with my mother over trivial matters, verbally abusing her to the point of losing control, and sometimes he even seems to want to resort to physical violence or break things.
Typically, this verbal abuse occurs about three times a month.
After each outburst, he returns to normal after a while.
I sometimes feel like I can still hear his angry words in my ears, which makes me very uneasy.
We all believe he may have a mental illness, but it seems that people with such issues are often unaware of their condition.
In the past, he had a confrontation with my grandmother and went to the kitchen to grab a knife, but he was stopped before any harm was done.
I would like to ask the doctor what we should do...
Will my mother and I also become affected by this situation?

Mao Mao, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2017/06/16

Dr. Cai Qijin reply Psychiatry


Hello: It seems that your father may have issues with emotional instability, which can be caused by various factors such as alcohol or substance abuse, personality disorders, stress, or mental illness.
A medical evaluation is necessary.
It is advisable to encourage your father to seek medical attention; if he cannot go to a hospital, he can first discuss his situation with a public health nurse at the local health center and consider home visits.
Family members nearby may find it challenging, so it's important to pay attention to personal safety, express their own stress in a timely manner, and seek external resources for support.

Reply Date: 2017/06/16

More Info


Dealing with emotional instability, especially in the context of family mental health issues, can be incredibly challenging and distressing. Based on your description, it sounds like your family has been experiencing significant turmoil due to your father's volatile behavior, which may be indicative of underlying mental health issues. This kind of environment can create a cycle of anxiety and emotional instability for you and your mother, as you both are directly affected by the conflicts and the emotional fallout from these situations.

First and foremost, it is essential to recognize that your father's behavior—frequent outbursts, verbal abuse, and even threats of physical violence—can have profound effects on the mental health of those around him. Witnessing such conflicts can lead to feelings of fear, helplessness, and anxiety, which you have expressed. The fact that you hear his angry words echoing in your mind indicates that this experience has left a lasting impact on you, contributing to your emotional instability.

It is crucial to understand that you and your mother are not alone in this situation, and it is not uncommon for family members of individuals with mental health issues to experience emotional distress. You may be feeling a range of emotions, including anger, sadness, and confusion, which are all valid responses to your circumstances. It is also important to note that living in a high-stress environment can lead to mental health issues in family members, including anxiety and depression.

Here are several steps you can take to cope with your situation:
1. Seek Professional Help: It is highly advisable for you and your mother to seek professional help from a mental health provider. A psychologist or psychiatrist can provide a safe space for you to express your feelings and help you develop coping strategies. Therapy can be beneficial in processing your experiences and emotions, and it can also help you understand the dynamics of your family situation better.

2. Establish Boundaries: If possible, try to establish emotional boundaries with your father. This might involve limiting your exposure to his outbursts or finding ways to disengage when conflicts arise. It is essential to protect your mental health, and sometimes that means stepping back from situations that are harmful.

3. Develop Coping Strategies: Engage in activities that promote your mental well-being. This could include mindfulness practices, such as meditation or yoga, which can help reduce anxiety and improve emotional regulation. Journaling can also be a helpful tool for processing your thoughts and feelings.

4. Support Networks: Lean on friends or other family members who can provide emotional support. Sometimes, just talking about your experiences with someone who understands can alleviate feelings of isolation.

5. Educate Yourself: Understanding mental health issues can help demystify your father's behavior. Learning about potential mental health conditions, such as depression or anxiety disorders, can provide insight into why he may act the way he does and how it affects the family.

6. Crisis Plan: If your father's behavior escalates to the point where you feel unsafe, it is essential to have a crisis plan in place. This could involve knowing who to call for help, whether it's a trusted family member, a friend, or emergency services.

7. Self-Care: Prioritize self-care. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it's reading, exercising, or spending time with friends. Taking care of your physical health can also positively impact your mental well-being.

In conclusion, while it may feel overwhelming, it is crucial to take proactive steps to address the emotional instability caused by your father's behavior. Seeking professional help, establishing boundaries, and developing coping strategies can significantly improve your mental health and overall well-being. Remember, you are not alone in this, and there are resources and support available to help you navigate these challenges.

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