PMS: How Partners Can Support During Tough Times - Obstetrics and Gynecology

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Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS)


Hello, doctor.
My girlfriend is 22 years old and has a regular menstrual cycle.
She experiences premenstrual dysphoria symptoms consistently, such as becoming irritable or completely withdrawing from me about 5 to 7 days before her period.
Her mood is noticeably negative, but when I ask her if something is bothering her, she usually responds with a brief "no" or forces a smile.
In the days leading up to her period, she seems like a completely different person compared to other times.
I have done some research, but most of the content focuses on psychological and physiological adjustments for women.
I would like to ask the doctor if there are specific ways I, as a male, can help alleviate any of my girlfriend's discomfort or unhappiness during this time?

Niming, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2017/07/09

Dr. Zhang Kunmin reply Obstetrics and Gynecology


Hello, the diagnosis of premenstrual syndrome (PMS) has specific criteria and treatment options.
It is advisable to consult a physician for relevant examinations to confirm the diagnosis and receive appropriate treatment.
Thank you! Wishing you peace and health.
Dr.
Chang

Reply Date: 2017/07/09

More Info


Understanding Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) is crucial for partners who want to provide support during this challenging time. PMS is a complex condition that affects many women, often characterized by emotional and physical symptoms that occur in the luteal phase of the menstrual cycle, typically one to two weeks before menstruation begins. Symptoms can include mood swings, irritability, anxiety, depression, fatigue, and physical discomfort such as bloating and breast tenderness.
For your girlfriend, it seems that she experiences noticeable changes in her mood and behavior leading up to her period, which is common among women with PMS. It’s important to recognize that these changes are not just a matter of willpower or attitude; they are influenced by hormonal fluctuations that can significantly affect mood and emotional regulation.

As her partner, there are several ways you can provide support during this time:
1. Open Communication: Encourage her to express her feelings without judgment. Let her know that it’s okay to talk about what she’s experiencing. Sometimes, just having someone listen can be incredibly comforting. You might say something like, "I know you might not want to talk about it, but I'm here to listen if you need me."
2. Be Patient and Understanding: Recognize that her irritability or withdrawal is likely linked to her hormonal changes rather than a reflection of her feelings towards you or your relationship. Patience is key. If she seems distant or upset, try not to take it personally. Instead, offer her space if she needs it, but also let her know you’re available when she’s ready to talk.

3. Help with Physical Discomfort: If she experiences physical symptoms like cramps or headaches, offer to help alleviate those symptoms. This could be as simple as preparing a warm compress, suggesting a warm bath, or offering to run errands so she can rest.
4. Encourage Healthy Habits: Suggest engaging in activities that promote well-being, such as going for a walk, practicing yoga, or cooking healthy meals together. Regular exercise and a balanced diet can help mitigate some PMS symptoms.

5. Plan Relaxing Activities: Sometimes, engaging in relaxing activities can help distract from discomfort. Consider planning a movie night, a cozy evening at home, or any other activity that she enjoys and finds comforting.

6. Educate Yourself: Understanding PMS and its symptoms can help you empathize with what she’s going through. There are many resources available that explain PMS in detail, including its causes and potential treatments. This knowledge can help you provide informed support.

7. Encourage Professional Help if Needed: If her symptoms are severe or significantly impact her daily life, it may be beneficial for her to consult a healthcare professional. They can provide guidance on managing PMS, which may include lifestyle changes, dietary adjustments, or even medication if necessary.

8. Be Supportive, Not Dismissive: Avoid minimizing her feelings or suggesting that she should just "get over it." Instead, validate her experiences by acknowledging that what she’s feeling is real and can be difficult to manage.

In summary, being a supportive partner during PMS involves a combination of patience, understanding, and proactive engagement. By creating an open line of communication and being attentive to her needs, you can help her navigate this challenging time more comfortably. Remember, the goal is to foster a supportive environment where she feels safe to express herself and knows she has your unwavering support.

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