Overcoming Erectile Challenges: Tips for Successful Intimacy

Q: Overcoming Erectile Challenges: Tips for Successful Intimacy

Hello： Your issue should be evaluated by a urologist at the hospital. <br>Long-term use of Cialis is not advisable. <br>Wishing you good health.

Difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection during sexual intercourse?

Hello, doctor! In the past, when I had phimosis, I experienced discomfort and loss of erection during intercourse with my girlfriend due to the pulling back of the foreskin, so I never successfully penetrated.
Later, I underwent a circumcision, and after recovery, I was able to successfully penetrate during intercourse in the woman-on-top position with my new girlfriend for the first time.
However, when I tried to switch to a more standard position, I couldn't maintain an erection and found it difficult to penetrate.
The more nervous I became, the softer I got, and I eventually gave up.

During the second attempt, I took about 1/6 of a Viagra pill, and I was able to successfully penetrate in the woman-on-top position.
I managed to switch to a standard position without withdrawing, but when I tried to change positions again, I couldn't penetrate.
In the third and fourth attempts, I didn't take any medication, and I struggled to penetrate in either position.
I could only manage to insert the tip, but I felt it wasn't hard enough to push forward confidently, so I ended up unable to penetrate again.

Each time, I feel very frustrated and worry about whether I will be able to succeed this time.
Is it because I'm not focused enough or too nervous, leading to insufficient hardness? Or could it be due to frequent masturbation? I would also like to ask if I should continue taking Viagra for future attempts until I feel more confident and less nervous about penetration, and then stop the medication.
However, I'm concerned about developing a dependency on the medication, which might be detrimental.
I'm only 23 years old, I don't smoke or drink, I don't stay up late, and I do weight training (though I don't do much cardio), yet I still struggle with maintaining an erection for penetration.
What should I do? I would greatly appreciate your guidance! Thank you!

23-year-old male, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2017/09/10

Dr. Du Shixi reply Urology

Hello: Your issue should be evaluated by a urologist at the hospital.
Long-term use of Cialis is not advisable.
Wishing you good health.

Reply Date: 2017/09/10

More Info

Overcoming erectile challenges can be a complex issue, especially when compounded by anxiety and previous experiences. It's important to understand that many men face similar difficulties, and addressing both the physical and psychological aspects can lead to improved intimacy and sexual satisfaction.

Firstly, it’s crucial to recognize that anxiety plays a significant role in erectile function. Your concerns about performance and the fear of not being able to achieve or maintain an erection can create a cycle of stress that exacerbates the problem. This is often referred to as "performance anxiety." When you worry about whether you will be able to perform, it can lead to tension and distraction, which can inhibit arousal and make it more difficult to achieve an erection.

In your case, it seems that the transition from a previous condition (phimosis) to a more functional state after circumcision has brought about new challenges. The fact that you have had some success with certain positions indicates that your body is capable of functioning sexually, but the anxiety surrounding the experience may be hindering your ability to fully engage.
Here are some strategies that may help you overcome these challenges:
1. Communication with Your Partner: Open and honest communication with your partner about your feelings and experiences can help alleviate some of the pressure. Discussing your concerns can foster intimacy and understanding, which may help reduce anxiety during intimate moments.

2. Focus on Foreplay: Engaging in extended foreplay can help increase arousal and reduce performance pressure. This can also help you feel more relaxed and connected with your partner, making the transition to penetration less stressful.

3. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practicing mindfulness or relaxation techniques can help you manage anxiety. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or progressive muscle relaxation can help calm your mind and body before and during intimate moments.

4. Gradual Exposure: Instead of immediately trying to achieve penetration, consider gradually exploring intimacy with your partner. This could involve focusing on other forms of sexual activity that do not involve penetration, which can help build confidence and reduce anxiety.

5. Consider Professional Help: If anxiety continues to be a significant barrier, seeking help from a therapist or counselor who specializes in sexual health can be beneficial. They can provide strategies to address performance anxiety and help you work through any underlying issues.

6. Medication Use: Regarding the use of medications like sildenafil (commonly known as Viagra or "犀利士"), it can be a useful tool for some men to help achieve and maintain an erection. However, it’s essential to use it under the guidance of a healthcare professional. While it can provide temporary relief from erectile difficulties, relying on it without addressing the underlying anxiety may not be a long-term solution. Discussing your concerns about potential dependency with your doctor can help you make an informed decision.

7. Physical Health: Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is crucial. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep can improve overall health and sexual function. Since you mentioned you do weight training, consider incorporating cardiovascular exercises, as they can enhance blood flow and improve erectile function.

8. Limit Masturbation: While masturbation is a normal part of sexual health, excessive masturbation can sometimes lead to temporary erectile issues. If you feel that this may be affecting your sexual performance, consider moderating the frequency.

In conclusion, overcoming erectile challenges involves a combination of addressing physical health, managing anxiety, and fostering open communication with your partner. It’s essential to be patient with yourself as you navigate this process. If difficulties persist, consulting with a healthcare professional can provide tailored advice and support. Remember, you are not alone in this experience, and many men successfully overcome similar challenges with the right approach and support.

Similar Q&A

Overcoming Erectile Dysfunction: Navigating Desire and Relationship Challenges

I have recently been struggling with erectile dysfunction. I have known my wife for nearly 10 years, and we have been intimate for about 7 to 8 years. She is my only sexual partner. In the past, I could easily become aroused just by watching adult films or by touching my wife. Ho...

Dr. Zhou Xinpei reply Urology
The causes of erectile dysfunction include psychogenic, organic, and medication-induced factors. Psychogenic causes arise from psychological factors that prevent the central nervous system from stimulating an erection, which can stem from life stress, communication barriers betwe...

Struggling with Ejaculation: Tips for Improving Sexual Performance

It sounds like you have been experiencing difficulties with ejaculation and maintaining an erection during sexual activity with your new girlfriend. This can be a common issue, especially if you have a history of frequent masturbation and are now facing a new sexual experience. H...

Dr. Xu Wencang reply Urology
You can observe it a few more times, and if it persists, you should visit the outpatient clinic for examination and treatment.

Understanding Erectile Dysfunction: Causes and Solutions for Young Couples

I have been living with my girlfriend for a year, and we usually sleep naked at home, having sexual intercourse about once a day. However, recently when we want to have sex, I find it difficult to achieve an erection. We have done foreplay, and even used lubricant to try to penet...

Dr. Xu Wencang reply Urology
There may not be any issues with the organs; try to adjust gradually. If symptoms persist, seek outpatient treatment.

Enhancing Sensitivity: Solutions for Erectile Issues During Intimacy

It seems that you are experiencing a lack of sensitivity and arousal during intimate moments, which could be related to various factors such as psychological issues, physical health, or even past experiences. It is important to address these concerns comprehensively. Here are som...

Dr. Sun Hongshun reply Urology
Hello, there are three possibilities. Is this person someone you like? If you also experience no response during masturbation? The second possibility is psychological stress. The third is a problem with the urogenital system. If you still have questions, please consult a urologis...