Overcoming Long-Term Emotional Distress: Seeking Help and Healing

Chronic low mood?

When I was in fifth and sixth grade, I often locked myself in the bathroom to cry and self-harm because I couldn't express my emotions.
Sometimes, I would pull my hair.
There was one time I couldn't control my emotions and cried in front of my mom.
She called me crazy.
I know she didn't mean it, but since then, self-harm has become a habit for me.
I started to hate myself more and more, feeling like I had no reason to live.
Before graduation, I even attempted to drown myself, but I didn't succeed.
After graduating, during that summer, I finally started to develop my own interests, but when middle school started, I fell back into my old state, even worse than before.
I would break down and cry over small setbacks, and sometimes I would experience headaches and stomachaches.
Recently, I've even started to notice a lot of gray hair.
I don't know what to do.
Should I see a doctor? I'm afraid to tell my parents about this, and I might not have the money to see a psychologist.

jamie, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2017/11/26

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry

Hello Jamie, you mentioned having emotions that are difficult to express in the past.
You can try to identify what those emotions are and why they are hard to release.
Attempt to establish effective emotional outlets, such as talking to someone you trust, journaling, going for a walk outdoors to calm down, or seeking professional counseling assistance.
Self-harm is not a good method; it is merely a temporary distraction and does not solve the problem.
Headaches and gastrointestinal discomfort can indeed be related to stress.
When a person is depressed or under significant stress, they may be more sensitive to negative events, but this is only temporary.
With appropriate treatment, most cases of depression can improve.
It is advisable to be kinder to yourself, to cherish yourself, and to focus your energy on self-growth, self-care, or other helpful and meaningful people and activities.
If you are still feeling troubled, it is recommended to seek medical assistance.
Wishing you all the best.

Reply Date: 2017/11/26

More Info

It sounds like you are going through an incredibly tough time, and I want to commend you for reaching out and expressing your feelings. It's important to recognize that what you are experiencing is serious and deserves attention and care.
From what you've described, it seems like you have been dealing with long-term emotional distress that has manifested in self-harm and suicidal thoughts. These behaviors are often coping mechanisms for overwhelming feelings of sadness, anger, or frustration, and they can be very harmful both physically and emotionally. It's crucial to understand that you are not alone in this; many people struggle with similar feelings, and there is help available.

First and foremost, I encourage you to seek professional help. While you mentioned concerns about finances and talking to your parents, there are often resources available that can assist you. Many communities have mental health services that offer sliding scale fees based on income, and some may even provide free services. School counselors can also be a good starting point; they are trained to help students navigate emotional distress and can provide support or refer you to appropriate resources.

You mentioned that you have a history of self-harm and suicidal thoughts. These are serious indicators that you need immediate support. If you ever feel like you might hurt yourself or have thoughts of ending your life, it is crucial to reach out for help right away. You can contact a crisis hotline or text line in your area, where trained professionals can provide immediate support and guidance.

In addition to seeking professional help, there are some strategies you can implement in your daily life to help manage your emotions. Here are a few suggestions:
1. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a powerful way to process what you're experiencing. It can help you identify triggers and patterns in your emotions.

2. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practices such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can help reduce anxiety and improve your emotional well-being. There are many free resources available online to guide you through these practices.

3. Physical Activity: Engaging in regular physical activity can significantly improve your mood and overall mental health. Even a short walk can help clear your mind and reduce stress.

4. Connect with Others: While it may feel difficult, try to reach out to friends or trusted individuals in your life. Sharing your feelings with someone who listens can provide relief and support.

5. Explore Interests: You mentioned that you found some interests after graduation. Continue to explore these hobbies or activities that bring you joy. They can serve as a positive outlet for your emotions.

6. Limit Negative Influences: If certain environments or people contribute to your distress, try to limit your exposure to them as much as possible. Surround yourself with supportive and understanding individuals.

Remember, healing is a process, and it's okay to take small steps. You deserve to feel better and to find joy in your life. Please consider reaching out for help, as there are people who care and want to support you through this challenging time. You are not alone, and there is hope for a brighter future.

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