Overcoming Performance Issues with Condoms: Effective Solutions

Treatment for erectile dysfunction with condom use?

Hello, Doctor Xu: When I first engaged in sexual activity with my girlfriend, we always used condoms, and my erectile function was normal.
However, later on, my girlfriend wanted me to feel more comfortable, so we switched to not using condoms, and she took medication while I ejaculated externally.
After a year, I learned that birth control pills might affect a woman's emotions, so I thought it would be better to return to our original method.
The problem is that now, whenever I put on a condom, I lose my erection, but once I remove it, I regain normal function.
Everything else, including foreplay, is perfectly fine, and my hardness is sufficient.
However, as soon as I wear a condom, things change.
Even during oral sex with the condom, I can't maintain an erection, but once the condom is off, I'm fully responsive, which is both frustrating and amusing for her.
I also tend to react just from holding my girlfriend, so I believe my erectile function is quite normal.
I later found a lot of information suggesting that "having become accustomed to a different sexual behavior pattern, suddenly adding a condom disrupts my original behavior pattern, similar to how it feels strange to suddenly put on clothes after having already undressed for a shower." I would like to ask the doctor how I can train myself in this situation or if there are any treatment methods available.
Thank you very much for your time and response!

Shao Shao, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2018/02/09

Dr. Xu Wencang reply Urology

You can refer to online articles; if you continue to use medication, it can help eliminate obstacles.

Reply Date: 2018/02/09

More Info

Overcoming performance issues with condoms can be a common concern for many men, and it often stems from a combination of psychological and physiological factors. In your case, it seems that the transition from unprotected sex to using condoms has created a mental block that affects your ability to maintain an erection when using them. This phenomenon is sometimes referred to as "condom-related erectile dysfunction" and can be influenced by various factors.

Understanding the Issue
1. Psychological Factors: As you mentioned, the change in sexual behavior from unprotected to protected sex can disrupt your mental state. If you have conditioned yourself to associate pleasure and arousal with unprotected sex, the introduction of a condom may create anxiety or discomfort, leading to a loss of erection. This is often referred to as performance anxiety, where the pressure to perform can lead to a cycle of anxiety and erectile dysfunction.

2. Physical Sensation: Many men report that condoms can reduce sensitivity, which may affect arousal levels. If you feel that the condom is interfering with your ability to feel pleasure, it can lead to difficulties in maintaining an erection.

3. Emotional Connection: The emotional dynamics between you and your partner can also play a role. If you feel anxious about disappointing your partner or if there are underlying relationship issues, this can further exacerbate performance anxiety.

Effective Solutions
1. Gradual Desensitization: One approach to overcoming this issue is to gradually reintroduce condoms into your sexual routine. Start by using condoms during foreplay or while engaging in other forms of sexual activity that do not involve penetration. This can help you become accustomed to the sensation of condoms without the pressure of penetration.

2. Experiment with Different Types of Condoms: There are various types of condoms available, including ultra-thin options that may enhance sensitivity. Experimenting with different brands and styles can help you find one that feels more comfortable and pleasurable.

3. Communication with Your Partner: Open communication with your partner about your concerns and experiences can alleviate some of the pressure you may feel. Discussing your feelings and working together to find solutions can strengthen your emotional connection and reduce anxiety.

4. Focus on Foreplay: Engaging in extended foreplay can help maintain arousal and make the transition to penetration smoother. This can also help you feel more relaxed and connected to your partner.

5. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practicing mindfulness or relaxation techniques can help reduce anxiety. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or progressive muscle relaxation can help you stay calm and focused during intimate moments.

6. Professional Help: If the issue persists, consider seeking help from a healthcare professional or a sex therapist. They can provide tailored strategies and support to address both the psychological and physical aspects of your performance issues.

7. Avoiding Performance Pressure: Remind yourself that sexual intimacy is about connection and pleasure, not just performance. Shifting your focus from performance to enjoyment can help reduce anxiety and improve your overall experience.

Conclusion
It's important to remember that many men experience similar issues, and it's a normal part of sexual health. By addressing the psychological aspects, experimenting with different solutions, and maintaining open communication with your partner, you can work towards overcoming these performance issues with condoms. If necessary, don't hesitate to seek professional guidance to explore further options tailored to your specific situation.

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