Uncontrollable Mental Imagery: a Mysterious Neurological Condition - Psychiatry

Unknown disease, tightness in the head, and abnormal perceptions?

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I am unable to control the images in my mind.
For example, when I close my eyes and try to imagine a cup, that cup uncontrollably spins.
I attempt to make it stop, but then my head starts to feel tight.
Everything I try to imagine behaves this way; I cannot present a clear image.
When I read articles silently in my mind, my thoughts jump around erratically, as if there is a force repeatedly punching, which disrupts my ability to concentrate.
It becomes very strenuous to silently recite, and I struggle to articulate certain sounds, especially words with tonal variations.
I am particularly sensitive to certain texts, like the "Three Character Classic," where my silent recitation becomes very loud and uncontrollable.
When my mind is tight and I try not to think, there is an uncontrollable urge and sensation that flits around in my brain.
When I attempt to control it, my head tightens again.
Although I don't want to think, the urge continuously manifests in my mind as sensations of punching or exertion.
When that feeling moves, the imagined images and the sounds of my silent recitation also shift.
I cannot restrain the images during meditation; for instance, when I visualize a crowd, their faces appear angry.
I try to imagine smiling faces, but they automatically revert to angry expressions.
These images appear involuntarily, rather than being what I originally intended to think about.
Sometimes, the imagined people forcefully turn into the face of my ex-girlfriend (though I have managed to eliminate this over time).
Occasionally, I am compelled to have negative thoughts and words that I cannot control, and they keep appearing.
The tightness feels like cramping, radiating from my head (not my scalp) to my nose bridge or the area above my mouth.
Recently, when facing specific groups of people (like shopkeepers), I experience tension and difficulty breathing.
Generally, my emotions are calm, with no anxiety or worry, yet I cannot control the tightness in my mind and head.
I had a brain wave test at Chi Mei Hospital's neurology department, and the doctor said the results were normal, adding that I would never fully recover.
Previously, doctors prescribed medications for anxiety and depression.
I have tried various medications, including one for bipolar disorder and another for Tourette syndrome, but none have been effective.
I used to be able to control the images in my mind, but after taking medication from a certain clinic, on the third day after a sleep, I lost that control.
I remember one of the medications was called Akin.
One doctor suggested it was similar to trauma stress and internalized pressure, another said it was anxiety, one claimed it was not anxiety but a special situation, and another noted symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder.
I have seen six doctors.
The article on neurasthenia I read is about 80% similar to my experience, except I do not have insomnia and my appetite is good.
In the three years leading up to the onset of my condition, I was very excitable; even minor incidents had a significant impact on me, requiring over three hours to calm down.
My thoughts were also very intense and extreme.
When I was agitated, my blood pressure was high, around 150.
My ex-girlfriend and my childhood family background have greatly influenced me.
My ex would constantly argue with me, leading to an instinctive panic whenever I saw her, as if something was about to happen.
I began to feel immense pressure.
During multiple arguments, she would threaten me with a knife, which had a profound impact on me.
When she was not around, I experienced conflicting emotions, feeling extremely weak and unable to muster energy.
Logically, I wanted to escape, but after we broke up, that feeling completely disappeared, as if a heavy burden was lifted.
However, three months later, I became ill.
In March of last year, I began experiencing headaches that felt like a continuous pressure on my arm.
In May, I became very sensitive and agitated when reading text.
By July, I felt tightness in my head, extending from the back of my skull to my forehead and the center of my brain.
In October, unable to bear it any longer, I sought medical help.
On the first day of taking medication from the second doctor, I clearly felt its effects, as if my brain slightly lost control.
By the third day, due to side effects of drowsiness, I woke up completely unable to regain control.
This is an article I have spent many days writing, and it is the most comprehensive description of my situation.
I have been off medication for over a month now and am unsure where to seek medical help or what exactly my condition is.

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ku ku ku, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2018/04/15