Masturbation issues
Hello doctor, I used to watch adult films to masturbate, but it seems too stimulating, which leads to premature ejaculation.
Now I use fantasies instead.
At first, I can achieve an erection, but sometimes it seems that if the fantasy isn't stimulating enough, I might lose some rigidity (though it doesn't go completely soft).
However, if I continue with a more stimulating fantasy, I can regain my erection.
Is this because I have become accustomed to the high level of stimulation from adult films, and therefore find it difficult to reach that level of arousal with less stimulating fantasies? Is this issue serious? Is there a way to improve it? What do you recommend? (I still experience nocturnal erections.) Also, I feel that my morning erections aren't as firm as when I achieve climax through masturbation; why is that? When my penis is erect, it feels soft on the outside but hard on the inside; is that due to the outer skin? Do the issues described indicate any sexual dysfunction? Thank you, doctor, for your help!
Niming, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2019/03/27
Dr. Du Mingyi reply Urology
Young people do not experience erectile dysfunction, so there is no need to worry.
Reply Date: 2019/03/27
More Info
The relationship between pornography consumption, sexual function, and masturbation is a complex and multifaceted topic that has garnered significant attention in recent years. Your concerns about the effects of pornography on your sexual experiences and function are valid and worth exploring.
Firstly, it is essential to understand that pornography can create unrealistic expectations regarding sexual performance and arousal. Many individuals who frequently consume pornography may find themselves desensitized to sexual stimuli over time. This desensitization can lead to difficulties in achieving or maintaining an erection during sexual encounters that do not match the intensity or novelty of what they have seen in adult films. This phenomenon is often referred to as "porn-induced erectile dysfunction" (PIED).
When you mention that you initially have an erection but find it difficult to maintain it unless the fantasy is sufficiently stimulating, this could indeed be a result of your previous experiences with pornography. The brain can become conditioned to respond to specific types of stimuli, and if those stimuli are not present, it may lead to a decrease in arousal. This is not uncommon and can be addressed with some intentional changes in behavior and mindset.
To improve your situation, consider the following strategies:
1. Limit Pornography Consumption: Reducing or eliminating pornography from your routine can help reset your sexual responses. This may take time, but many individuals report improvements in their sexual function after a period of abstaining from porn.
2. Focus on Real-Life Intimacy: Engaging in intimate activities with a partner can help you reconnect with the natural rhythms of sexual arousal and response. This can also help you learn to appreciate the nuances of real-life sexual experiences, which are often more varied and less predictable than those depicted in pornography.
3. Mindfulness and Sensate Focus: Practicing mindfulness during sexual activities can enhance your awareness of physical sensations and emotional connections. Sensate focus exercises, which involve exploring touch and intimacy without the pressure of performance, can also be beneficial.
4. Explore Different Fantasies: If you find that your current fantasies are not stimulating enough, consider exploring new ones that excite you. This can help you discover what truly arouses you beyond the confines of pornography.
5. Consult a Professional: If you continue to experience difficulties, consider speaking with a therapist who specializes in sexual health. They can provide personalized strategies and support to help you navigate these challenges.
Regarding your observations about morning erections (nocturnal penile tumescence) and their firmness compared to when you achieve an erection through masturbation, it is essential to note that variations in erection quality are normal. Morning erections are typically a result of hormonal fluctuations during sleep and may not always reflect your sexual arousal state. The difference in firmness you notice could be due to various factors, including psychological arousal, physical stimulation, and the context in which the erection occurs.
Lastly, the sensation of your penis being soft on the outside but firm internally is also normal. The outer skin is indeed softer and more pliable, while the erectile tissue inside becomes engorged with blood during an erection, leading to the firmness you feel. This is a natural anatomical feature and does not indicate any underlying issues.
In summary, while your experiences are not uncommon, they can be addressed through mindful practices, reducing reliance on pornography, and fostering real-life intimacy. If concerns persist, seeking professional guidance can provide additional support and strategies tailored to your needs.
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