Involuntary Tension and Auditory Hallucinations in Adolescents - Psychiatry

Involuntary tension and auditory hallucinations?

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Hello, doctor! I am currently retaking my university entrance exams.
I have always excelled academically since childhood, which has made my parents proud, and I have a good relationship with my family.
However, after entering a prestigious high school, my academic performance became average, yet my parents continued to demand high achievements from me.
They would insultingly criticize me daily for not being ambitious, enforcing strict discipline and prohibiting all leisure activities.
As a result, I became increasingly depressed and isolated.
My older brother, who attends the same high school, has outstanding grades, and he also treats me with a strict demeanor, similar to that of an elder.
Both my homeroom teacher and counselor believe that our family's parenting style is quite abnormal.
My father, possibly due to long-term stress, shows clear signs of depression; he struggles to control his emotions, which severely impacts our family.
Since high school, I have experienced the nine major symptoms of depression continuously (I once secretly visited a psychiatrist, who confirmed that these are symptoms of depression).
From my second year of high school until now, these symptoms have worsened over the past three years.
I am aware of my condition and wish to seek treatment, but my parents do not allow me to do so, claiming it is "to protect me from societal stigma," and I am not yet 20 years old.
My father has a strong need for control, making it impossible for me to seek resources outside (my whereabouts are constantly monitored).
I can only learn about my mental health issues online, but some problems cannot be fully understood just by reading online materials, so I would like to consult you, doctor.
My questions are as follows:
1.
During high school, the atmosphere at home was extremely tense.
My study desk faced a wall, and my brother would often walk behind me.
I would experience intense fear, feeling a chill run up my spine and my body would involuntarily shake (as if I feared being attacked, since I couldn't defend myself from behind, which felt terrifying, even though I had never been attacked).
This year, while retaking my exams, my brother has already gone to college and no longer lives at home.
However, in many situations (such as in the library or while dining out), when strangers walk past me from behind, I still feel fear and involuntarily shake, and because these are public places, I have to suppress this reaction to avoid embarrassment.
Doctor, is this a specific symptom, or am I just overly anxious? Why do I still have this reaction even after being separated from my brother for so long (it has already been a year)?
2.
In my first year of high school, I was very neurotic.
At that time, my brother was in his third year and attended the same school.
I was extremely afraid of encountering him in any corner of the campus.
Even when I went to the co-op with friends, he would criticize me for "not using the break time to study and just hanging around." My friends would help me keep an eye out for my brother when we were together.
After he graduated, I would hear his voice questioning me, "Why aren't you studying and wasting time?" even in non-study situations, and I often felt the urge to turn around to find the source of the voice (it felt like he was standing behind me talking), but I would frantically tell myself, "He has already graduated; he can't be at school," and force myself not to turn around, fearing that such strange behavior would attract others' attention.
Because of this, I gradually developed a sense of guilt when talking to anyone and began to dislike conversing with people.
This year, while retaking my exams, I have been studying at home all day.
My father is currently unemployed, so I live with him 24/7.
In high school, if I left my study room too frequently or for too long, my father would scold me.
Later, due to my counselor notifying my parents about my self-harm issues, my father has become somewhat less strict.
However, recently, for about four to five consecutive days, when I left my study room, I would hear my father calling me from the study (about twice a day on average).
The first time it happened, I immediately ran back to my room, but I saw my father reading and not looking for me, so I assumed I had misheard.
Later, I asked my father, "What did you want?" and he replied, "I wasn't calling you." After that, when I heard him call me again, I would sneakily go to the door of the study to observe whether he was looking for me, but he was always focused on reading and never actually looking for me.
The most recent time I suspected I was experiencing auditory hallucinations was the night before last.
There has been severe arguing at home recently due to certain issues, and I am very anxious (plus I am very sensitive).
The night before last, I closed my door and went to bed.
Initially, I couldn't sleep due to anxiety, and then I started hearing my parents arguing.
Since it was late at night, they intentionally lowered their voices, but I heard my father telling my mother, "Speak more quietly; don't let the child (referring to me) hear it and be affected." My father often says this during arguments, and I despise it because I feel like I am the reason for his criticism of others.
I angrily got up to listen at the door, but it was completely silent outside.
So, I lay back down to sleep, but as soon as I did, I heard the arguing again, and I got up to listen...
This cycle repeated about ten times.
The next morning, I asked my mother, and she said they hadn't had any conversation that night (I hadn't been drinking the night before).
Doctor, are the three situations of hearing my brother, my father, and my parents arguing all auditory hallucinations? Can someone experiencing auditory hallucinations recognize the irrationality of these "false voices" without external guidance? Additionally, since I started drinking alcohol after graduating high school (I had a period of heavy drinking but currently drink in moderation), does alcohol exacerbate auditory hallucinations (if this is indeed what I am experiencing)? Also, is my getting up about ten times a possible sign of obsessive-compulsive disorder? Furthermore, doctor, if I continue to avoid seeking treatment for 2-3 years, aside from the increased likelihood of a relapse of depression in the future, will it cause any irreversible damage to my brain? Will the treatment process be more difficult and prolonged in the future because of this? I am still young, and I am genuinely worried about these issues.
I apologize for the lengthy description; I have tried to be concise.
I know this cannot serve as a diagnosis, but this is the only way I can understand my situation without being able to seek medical help.
Thank you, doctor, for your patience in reading and responding!

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Nìmíng zhě, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2019/06/16