Struggling with Daily Anxiety and Depression: Finding Hope and Help

I don't want to continue suffering?

I often wake up in the morning feeling very uncomfortable, as if I am experiencing depression or anxiety.
Previously, I would sometimes wake up at specific times, and if I saw it was only 2 AM, I would feel relieved that I still had time before work.
However, if it was already 4 AM, I would start to ruminate on my worries or regret my past reactions.
I often feel exhausted or regretful, and I experience some compulsive behaviors, such as checking if the lights are off, the fan is off, or the computer is shut down.
(Currently, I take photos before leaving to confirm.) But sometimes, if the images are blurry, I feel an impulse to go back and check again.
At least it’s not a constant need.
Throughout the day, I also experience heavy moods that feel oppressive.
The most painful part is that my mind feels cluttered, and I can't seem to feel happy; I feel tense and unmotivated.
Yet, I can still work.
I have wondered if this is depression because I seem to be overly concerned about both big and small things, feeling like nothing I do is right.
I question whether medication would help.
I struggle with this and am afraid that if I start taking medication, I will have to rely on it forever.

soul, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2019/07/09

Dr. Huang Xiaoxian reply Psychiatry

Dear soul, thank you for your question.
It sounds like your symptoms indeed include depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive tendencies, which are quite distressing for you.
While it may not be debilitating to the point of preventing you from working, I recommend seeking a professional evaluation and early treatment.
Often, when psychological issues reach a certain level, various emotion-related substances in the body can also be affected, which may further exacerbate mood symptoms.
Therefore, I suggest you consider improving your condition through medication and psychological counseling.
The duration of treatment will depend on the improvement of your symptoms and may not necessarily require long-term therapy.
It would be beneficial to discuss this with your physician.
Wishing you all the best!

Reply Date: 2019/07/09

More Info

It sounds like you are experiencing a significant amount of distress, and I want to acknowledge how difficult this must be for you. The feelings of anxiety and depression you describe, including the compulsive behaviors and the overwhelming sense of regret and fatigue, are indeed concerning and warrant professional attention.
From what you've shared, it seems you are grappling with symptoms that could be indicative of both anxiety and depression. These conditions can often coexist, leading to a cycle of negative thoughts and feelings that can be hard to break. The compulsive checking behaviors you mentioned, such as ensuring that lights and appliances are turned off, are common in anxiety disorders, particularly Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). This can create a sense of temporary relief but often leads to further anxiety and distress when the compulsions are not performed or when doubts arise about whether the actions were sufficient.

Your experience of waking up with discomfort and a sense of dread, coupled with feelings of regret about past actions, suggests that you may be caught in a cycle of negative thinking. This is a hallmark of depression, where individuals often feel trapped in their thoughts, unable to find joy or motivation in daily activities. The fatigue and tension you describe can also be symptoms of both anxiety and depression, making it challenging to engage in work or social activities fully.

It's important to understand that you are not alone in this struggle, and there is help available. Seeking professional help from a mental health provider, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, can be a crucial step in addressing these symptoms. They can provide a comprehensive evaluation and help determine whether you meet the criteria for a specific diagnosis, such as Major Depressive Disorder or an Anxiety Disorder.
Treatment options often include psychotherapy, which can help you develop coping strategies and address the underlying issues contributing to your anxiety and depression. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for both conditions, as it focuses on changing negative thought patterns and behaviors. Medication, such as antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications, can also be beneficial in managing symptoms. It's understandable to have concerns about medication, including the fear of needing to take it indefinitely. However, many people find that medication can help stabilize their mood and reduce anxiety, allowing them to engage more fully in therapy and other aspects of life.

It's also worth noting that lifestyle changes can play a significant role in managing anxiety and depression. Regular physical activity, a balanced diet, adequate sleep, and mindfulness practices such as meditation or yoga can all contribute to improved mental health. These strategies can help reduce stress and enhance your overall well-being.

In conclusion, I encourage you to reach out to a mental health professional who can provide the support and guidance you need. It’s a brave step to seek help, and it can lead to significant improvements in your quality of life. Remember, you don’t have to navigate this alone, and there are effective treatments available that can help you find hope and healing.

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