Am I Just Overthinking My Mental Health Issues?

I don't know if I'm just complaining without any real illness?

Hello, doctor.
Since middle school, I have felt that my study efficiency is very poor; it takes me a long time to read an article.
However, due to my competitive nature, I am willing to spend a lot of time improving my academic performance, which is why I have been going to bed after midnight since middle school, yet my grades have remained average.
Later, when I entered university, my major focused more on reports, and since I was better at humanities, I didn't schedule too many classes in a semester.
Therefore, when exams came, even though I studied for long hours, I was able to manage.
At the beginning of university, the counseling office arranged for us to take a depression scale test, and my results indicated mild depression.
The counseling office contacted me, but I felt fine at the time and thought it was just a personality issue, so I declined their help.
In my first year, I focused on my studies, but I struggled to adapt to the new environment, resulting in average academic performance.
In the second semester of my sophomore year, I started working part-time while also focusing on my studies.
At that time, I averaged only 5-6 hours of sleep per night, but I still felt very motivated and even received an academic award.
However, at the end of the second semester, after the final exams, I suddenly felt a sense of emptiness, realizing that everything I was doing felt meaningless.
Even though I was maintaining good grades, I felt it was just a superficial number and that I lacked real ability, fearing that I would be eliminated by society after graduation.
I felt completely lost and tried seeking help from the counseling office and talking to a professor I was close to, but I found it unhelpful.
Later, in my junior year, I became addicted to online gaming, which negatively impacted my studies.
In my senior year, I discovered a language I genuinely wanted to learn, and I became enthusiastic about it.
However, during my studies, I occasionally experienced "lows," where I would not want to do anything for a period.
I thought it might be due to frequent exposure to the course content, leading to burnout.
After graduation, while preparing for the national exam, I moved back home.
In my first year, I felt extremely discouraged because I had never encountered the exam subjects before.
Additionally, I am easily distracted and cannot sit still, so I hardly studied at all that year.
I often regretted my choice to take the national exam and sometimes even thought about giving up on life if things didn't work out, although I never engaged in self-harm.
My temper also became more irritable than before.
In my second year, my willingness to study increased, but my reading speed remained slow, even for subjects I had reviewed two or three times.
I began to wonder if there was something wrong with my brain.
Sometimes, I felt like I couldn't breathe and felt very uncomfortable.
When I learned about attention deficit disorder, I felt it resonated with my situation, so I went to a mental health clinic.
However, when I tried to talk to the doctor, I broke down in tears, whether from nervousness or another reason, and I could only express my confusion in a fragmented manner.
The doctor did not think it was attention deficit disorder and prescribed me medication for persistent depressive disorder, including bupropion and mirtazapine.

Afterward, I researched a lot of related information and felt that my situation wasn't that severe; I didn't experience daily depression, insomnia, frequent crying, or poor appetite.
I began to wonder if I was just exaggerating my condition.
I thought I might be pretending to be ill when I was actually fine.
I also read online that the effectiveness of medications for persistent depressive disorder isn't very good, and while bupropion can help with focus, it makes my mind feel empty and hinders my ability to think.
I questioned whether it would be best not to take the medication.
On the other hand, I was conflicted about whether taking the medication might actually lead to improvement.

Thank you very much, doctor, for taking the time to read this lengthy message.
I truly don't know what to do, as I still haven't taken the medication and am unsure how to approach the doctor for a follow-up consultation.
Thank you for your guidance.

W, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2020/08/05

Dr. Huang Xiaoxian reply Psychiatry

Dear lulala, it sounds like your emotional state has a significant impact on you, and I hope you don't feel like you're just complaining without reason.
Generally speaking, foundational medications like bupropion can help improve mood fluctuations, so I recommend discussing continued use with your physician.
Additionally, stress and emotions are certainly influenced by our perspectives on things; I suggest considering ongoing psychotherapy to better understand your blind spots and make adjustments.
Wishing you all the best.

Reply Date: 2020/08/05

More Info

It sounds like you are experiencing a complex mix of emotions and thoughts regarding your mental health, and it's understandable to feel overwhelmed by it all. Your concerns about whether you are overthinking your mental health issues are valid, especially given the range of experiences you've described.
From what you've shared, it seems that you have been grappling with feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and possibly depression for quite some time. The fact that you have been aware of these feelings since middle school and have sought help indicates a level of self-awareness that is crucial for addressing mental health concerns. However, it’s also common for individuals to question the severity of their issues, especially when they don’t fit neatly into a specific diagnosis or when they feel they are not experiencing the "typical" symptoms of a mental health disorder.

Your experience with fluctuating motivation, feelings of emptiness, and the pressure of academic performance can be indicative of underlying mental health issues, such as persistent depressive disorder (dysthymia) or generalized anxiety disorder. The feelings of being overwhelmed by external pressures and the sense of futility you described after achieving academic success are also significant. It's not uncommon for individuals to feel a sense of emptiness or disillusionment after reaching a goal, especially if they have tied their self-worth to their achievements.

The fact that you have been prescribed medication for persistent depressive disorder suggests that a mental health professional has assessed your symptoms and found them significant enough to warrant treatment. It’s important to remember that mental health conditions can manifest in various ways and do not always present with the classic symptoms of sadness or hopelessness. Your experiences of low energy, difficulty concentrating, and feeling overwhelmed can all be part of a broader picture of mental health that may not fit neatly into a single category.

Regarding your concerns about medication, it’s essential to have an open dialogue with your healthcare provider. If you feel uncertain about the diagnosis or the prescribed treatment, consider preparing for your next appointment by writing down your thoughts and questions. This can help you articulate your concerns more clearly, especially if you feel anxious about discussing them in person. You might want to ask your doctor about the rationale behind the diagnosis and the benefits and potential side effects of the medication. It’s also perfectly reasonable to express your desire to explore non-pharmacological options, such as therapy or lifestyle changes, alongside or instead of medication.

In addition to medication, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) has been shown to be effective for many individuals dealing with anxiety and depression. CBT focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns and behaviors, which could be beneficial for you, especially since you mentioned a tendency to overthink and feel inadequate.
Lastly, it’s crucial to practice self-compassion. Many people struggle with their mental health, and it’s okay to seek help and take the time you need to understand your feelings. Remember that mental health is a spectrum, and everyone’s experience is unique. You are not alone in this journey, and reaching out for support is a significant step toward healing.
In summary, it’s essential to continue seeking help, whether through medication, therapy, or both. Don’t hesitate to express your concerns to your healthcare provider, and remember that understanding and addressing mental health is a process that takes time. You deserve support and care as you navigate these challenges.

Similar Q&A

Am I Overthinking My Health? Understanding Anxiety and Its Solutions

Whenever I experience minor health issues, I start to worry that it might be something serious. I can't help but Google my symptoms, and even when I read articles stating that certain problems are rare or unlikely for someone my age, I still worry that I might be one of the ...

Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry
Hello, online friend: I also believe it could be an anxiety issue. There are some self-help methods for anxiety, such as relaxation techniques and increased physical activity. If these methods are not effective, you can download the Mood Meter app to assess your emotional state a...

Am I Just Overthinking? Understanding Mental Health Concerns

I tend to overthink a lot; I constantly worry about whether I've done or said something wrong in every little thing. I care deeply about everything. Although I usually love to laugh, I feel exhausted, as if I'm forcing myself to smile to meet some expectation. However, ...

Dr. Qiu Junda reply Psychiatry
Hello. The situation described in the text reveals negative emotions. It is initially considered to be within the normal range, but it has caused distress. Efforts should be made to improve this. I suggest you search for information on emotional management (EQ) to learn some meth...

Understanding Anxiety: Is Overthinking a Sign of Mental Health Issues?

Doctor, I'm sorry... I've asked three times already... This is the last question. I'm really sorry for forgetting to ask. What I want to know is, for someone like me who tends to overthink and worry about various things, but at the same time, I look forward to what...

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry
Discussing the diagnosis or exclusion of diseases for individuals whom one has not met in person online is actually inappropriate. There are many reasons for this. Many physicians believe that such practices violate medical ethics and even laws. Therefore, even if you explain you...

Constantly Worrying About Health: When to See a Mental Health Professional

I often worry about my health; whenever I have a slight issue, I feel like it could be something serious like cancer. Recently, I've been feeling off, but my check-ups have shown nothing wrong. However, I still feel like there might be something that hasn't been detecte...

Dr. Yu Quanxun reply Psychiatry
Hello, based on your description, you are quite concerned about your physical condition, which is causing you some distress. Although your tests have all come back normal, you still feel anxious. If this level of worry is affecting your mood and sleep, I would recommend seeking h...