Overcoming Sensitivity Issues for Couples Trying to Conceive - Urology

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Trying to conceive a child through sexual intercourse?


Hello doctor, I would like to ask a question.
My wife and I have been married for six months, and we really want to have a child.
During intercourse with my wife, I feel very comfortable and joyful when my penis is inserted into her vagina.
However, I always feel that there is a bit too much vaginal lubrication, making the experience feel very slippery, which seems to reduce the sensitivity of my penis.
Sometimes, in the middle of intercourse, I find that my erection softens, and I really want to ejaculate inside the vagina but have been unable to do so.
I would like to know if there is a solution to this problem.
When I engage in self-stimulation, I do feel the urge to ejaculate.

JASON, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2021/06/28

Dr. Sun Hongshun reply Urology


Hello Jason! Welcome to the hospital.
There are medications available for treatment! Please don't worry.
If you are concerned about the side effects of the medications, there are also non-pharmacological treatment options that can assist you! I hope this helps!

Reply Date: 2021/06/28

More Info


It sounds like you are experiencing a common issue that many couples face when trying to conceive, particularly related to sensitivity and arousal during intercourse. The feelings you describe—enjoying the act but feeling a decrease in sensitivity due to lubrication—can be frustrating, especially when you have a strong desire to conceive. Let's explore this issue further and discuss potential solutions.

First, it's important to understand that variations in vaginal lubrication can occur for many reasons, including hormonal fluctuations, arousal levels, and even the type of sexual activity. While lubrication is generally beneficial for comfort during intercourse, excessive lubrication can sometimes lead to a feeling of reduced sensitivity for some men. This can be particularly pronounced if the lubrication is more than what you might typically experience, leading to a slippery sensation that can make it difficult to maintain an erection or achieve ejaculation.

Here are some strategies that may help you address this issue:
1. Communication with Your Partner: Open dialogue with your wife about your feelings and experiences during intercourse is crucial. Discussing what feels good and what doesn’t can help both of you adjust your approach to intimacy. This can also alleviate any pressure you might feel about performance, knowing that you are both working together to find what works best for you.

2. Experiment with Different Positions: Sometimes, changing positions can help enhance sensitivity. Certain positions may allow for deeper penetration or a different angle that might increase your pleasure and help you maintain an erection.

3. Adjust Lubrication: If the natural lubrication is too much for you, consider experimenting with different types of lubricants. Water-based lubricants are generally less slippery than silicone-based ones, and you might find that a little less lubrication can enhance your sensitivity. Additionally, if your partner is producing a lot of natural lubrication, you might want to take breaks to allow for a more controlled experience.

4. Focus on Foreplay: Engaging in extended foreplay can help both partners feel more aroused and connected. This can also help you feel more in tune with your body and your partner’s body, potentially enhancing your sensitivity when penetration occurs.

5. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Sometimes anxiety about performance can lead to issues with sensitivity and erection. Practicing mindfulness or relaxation techniques before and during intercourse can help you stay present and reduce anxiety. This might include deep breathing exercises or focusing on the sensations in your body rather than the end goal of ejaculation.

6. Consult a Healthcare Professional: If these strategies do not help, it may be beneficial to consult with a healthcare professional, such as a urologist or a sexual health specialist. They can provide a more thorough evaluation and may suggest treatments or therapies tailored to your specific situation. Sometimes, underlying medical conditions or psychological factors can contribute to sensitivity issues, and a professional can help identify and address these.

7. Consider Professional Counseling: If you find that anxiety or emotional factors are affecting your sexual performance, speaking with a therapist who specializes in sexual health can be beneficial. They can help you work through any underlying issues and develop coping strategies.

In conclusion, while it can be disheartening to experience sensitivity issues during such an intimate and important time in your life, there are several strategies you can employ to enhance your experience. Open communication with your partner, experimenting with different techniques, and seeking professional guidance can all contribute to a more fulfilling sexual experience as you work towards conceiving. Remember, intimacy is a journey, and finding what works best for both of you can take time and patience.

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