the Differences in Male and Female Sexual Pleasure

Why is male pleasure not as intense as female pleasure?

When sexual tension is high, it feels comfortable, but it can lead to premature ejaculation.
After ejaculation, the sexual tension tends to decrease, making it less likely to experience premature ejaculation, but the sensation is almost absent, with only a faint feeling when approaching climax.
Being a woman seems advantageous; why is that? According to an article I found online titled "The Sexual Endurance Limits of Women," from a physiological perspective and excluding any pathological conditions or special social situations (such as rape), women's sexual capacity is nearly limitless.
They do not have a penis and do not need to exert effort to achieve and maintain an erection like men do.
Moreover, women do not experience a physiological refractory period and do not become flaccid after intercourse.
Thus, they can objectively engage in high-frequency sexual activity at any time.
Similarly, the intensity of women's sexual activity is only limited by their physical stamina, without the concern of penile flaccidity that men face.
Additionally, women have more and broader areas of sexual sensitivity on their bodies compared to men, allowing them to vary their sexual behaviors more than men can.
Finally, women can achieve an unlimited number of orgasms consecutively, which is unmatched by men.
Confucianism and Taoism have long recognized this, but to maintain the male-centered society of the time, they were filled with deep fear regarding this reality.
Confucianism advocated that "a woman's lack of sexuality is virtue," severely suppressing women's sexual capabilities, while Taoism promoted men's "preservation of essence" to counterbalance women's infinite sexual abilities.
These two cultural traditions have deeply ingrained themselves in the hearts of Chinese women, distorting and alienating their sexuality, leading them to feel dual sexual repression in their personal lives.
Before engaging in sexual activity, women often involuntarily perceive sex as a male domain, believing that women should not actively seek it.
Even after breaking through this psychological barrier in a relatively fulfilling sexual life, women struggle to learn how to fully enjoy their inherent sexual capabilities.
Unmarried women who dare to express their sexual arousal, sexual dreams, or sexual responses may be seen as prey by men, while other women may label them as "promiscuous." As a result, a woman's wedding night can become a mere "rite of passage," often leading to unnecessary psychological and physical distress, even pain.
After marriage, women's sexuality is still viewed as solely for serving their husbands, as if merely not refusing their husband's sexual demands equates to having good sexual ability.
If a wife dares to express a need for more orgasms, she may be considered "greedy." If she proposes specific sexual needs, her husband may perceive her as "unvirtuous" and may even question, "Who taught you that?" International feminism argues that male and female sexuality is homologous and is merely shaped by centuries of male-centered society, resulting in a cultural system that severely represses women's sexual capabilities and expressions.
Women have also been gradually conditioned and trained to become "asexual beings," often unconsciously believing that this is their natural state.
Feminism asserts that women's liberation and gender equality must include sexuality, restoring the true nature of women's sexual physiology, allowing women to spontaneously, autonomously, consciously, and self-regulate to fully enjoy their inherent sexual capabilities and pleasures.
If women still do not dare to acknowledge and utilize their infinite sexual abilities, they cannot achieve the equal status and autonomy (not power!) they deserve in sexual relationships, nor can they attain equality in other aspects of social life.
Previously, we have provided too little introduction to the sexual theories of the international women's movement.
Therefore, for some educated Chinese women, discussing the physiological drives of sexuality seems lowbrow and vulgar, denying the nobility of love, or even degrading women.
In fact, it is precisely in cultures that fully respect women's sexual capabilities and rights that the banner of love flies higher than ours.

(Edited by Zhang Aijing)
Doctor, this article resonates with my feelings.
May I ask you honestly, do you envy women and think it is better to be a woman?

258, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2003/04/21

Dr. Chen Xiuyi reply Urology

Hello! The quality of sexual function can be influenced by psychological factors, and it requires cooperation and coordination from both partners to achieve optimal results.
It is advisable to consult with Dr.
Chen Hsiu-Yi, the Director of Sexual Function.

Reply Date: 2003/04/21

More Info

Understanding the differences in male and female sexual pleasure is a complex topic that encompasses biological, psychological, and sociocultural dimensions. Your inquiry reflects a deep contemplation of sexual experiences and the perceived advantages of female sexuality, which is often viewed through various lenses, including personal experience, societal norms, and cultural narratives.

From a biological standpoint, male and female sexual responses differ significantly. Men typically experience a more linear sexual response cycle, characterized by phases of excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. This cycle is often accompanied by a refractory period during which men cannot achieve another erection or orgasm. In contrast, women may experience a more cyclical and multifaceted sexual response. They can have multiple orgasms without a refractory period, allowing for a potentially more prolonged and varied sexual experience. This biological difference can lead to the perception that women have a more extensive capacity for sexual pleasure.

Psychologically, the experience of sexual pleasure is influenced by individual factors such as emotional connection, mental state, and personal preferences. For many women, emotional intimacy and psychological arousal play crucial roles in their sexual satisfaction. This contrasts with some men's experiences, where physical stimulation may take precedence. The societal conditioning of gender roles also affects how individuals perceive and express their sexual desires. Women, for instance, may feel societal pressure to downplay their sexual needs or desires, leading to a disconnect between their biological capacity for pleasure and their psychological acceptance of it.

Culturally, narratives surrounding female sexuality have historically been fraught with contradictions. Many cultures have perpetuated the idea that women's sexuality is something to be controlled or suppressed, leading to a lack of understanding and appreciation for women's sexual autonomy. This cultural backdrop can create feelings of shame or guilt in women regarding their sexual desires, which may not be as prevalent in men. The article you referenced highlights these cultural dynamics, suggesting that women's sexual capabilities have been historically marginalized.

Your feelings of envy towards women and the perception that being a woman might be "better" in terms of sexual pleasure could stem from these complex interactions between biology, psychology, and culture. It is essential to recognize that both men and women can experience sexual pleasure in diverse ways, and each gender faces unique challenges and societal expectations regarding their sexual identities.

In addressing your concerns about early ejaculation and the subsequent decrease in sexual tension, it is important to understand that sexual arousal and pleasure are influenced by various factors, including anxiety, physical health, and emotional connection. Early ejaculation can be a common issue for many men, often linked to psychological factors such as performance anxiety or stress. After ejaculation, the body naturally enters a state of relaxation, which may diminish sexual tension and arousal. This physiological response can lead to feelings of frustration, especially if one desires a more prolonged experience of pleasure.

If you find that your sexual experiences are not fulfilling or are causing distress, it may be beneficial to explore these feelings with a healthcare professional or a sex therapist. They can provide insights into sexual health, offer strategies to enhance sexual experiences, and help address any underlying psychological factors that may be contributing to your concerns.

In conclusion, understanding the differences in male and female sexual pleasure involves recognizing the interplay of biological, psychological, and cultural factors. Both men and women have unique experiences and challenges regarding their sexual identities and pleasures. Embracing open conversations about these topics can foster a greater understanding and appreciation for the diversity of sexual experiences, ultimately leading to more fulfilling intimate relationships.

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