Seeking Help for My Parents: Mental Health Issues

Please help my parents!!

Hello, Doctor: I have some questions, but I'm not sure if they are suitable for a psychiatric consultation.
Could you please let me know if these issues are related to mental health, so I can seek appropriate assistance? Thank you!
Question 1: My father (55 years old) took out a loan for several million NT dollars from the bank in July of this year.
In just three months, he has spent it all (indulging in endless shopping and gambling), yet he is still fixated on using money to gamble.
On one hand, he refuses to face reality (repaying the loan), and whenever these issues are discussed, he becomes extremely angry and does not believe he has done anything wrong.
He keeps insisting that he will repay the loan, but in reality, he is unable to do so.
Additionally, he has asthma and was urgently admitted to the intensive care unit at the end of October.
However, when he was able to be transferred to a regular ward, he insisted on being discharged just to go play mahjong.
His mood swings are very pronounced, fluctuating between good and bad, but he only takes out his frustrations on my mother.
I would like to ask if the behaviors described above indicate that my father has a mental health disorder.
Question 2: My mother (54 years old) has recently started experiencing menopause over the past year and has sought gynecological treatment for her physical discomfort.
However, due to my father's behavior and the recent financial issues related to his loan, she has developed a lack of appetite and feelings of depression (she often gets stuck in negative thoughts and cries at the slightest reminder).
My mother usually relies on medication to sleep and has high blood pressure.
I would like to ask the doctor if it would be appropriate to take my mother for a psychiatric consultation.
Please understand that I am a married daughter, and I am genuinely worried about my father's potential for violence or my mother's mental state.
My father is unlikely to seek psychiatric help on his own!

Wúzhù de nǚ'ér, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2003/11/18

Dr. Chen Wenke reply Psychiatry

1.
Your father is 55 years old and is exhibiting the aforementioned behaviors, which appear to be abnormal.
It is advisable to seek assistance from a psychiatrist; however, I believe he may be quite resistant to this idea.
Therefore, it might be beneficial to consult a psychosomatic medicine physician, as he may be more receptive to that approach.
2.
That is definitely necessary.
For your mother, the evident signs of stress and depression, combined with her being in the menopausal stage, exacerbate her emotional issues.
Current medications typically have a good effect on mood disorders.

Reply Date: 2003/11/18

More Info

It sounds like you are in a very challenging situation with your parents, and it's understandable that you are seeking guidance on how to navigate their mental health issues. Mental health is a complex and sensitive topic, especially when it involves family dynamics. Let's break down your concerns regarding both your father and mother.

Concerning Your Father
From your description, your father's behavior raises several red flags that could indicate underlying mental health issues. His impulsive spending, gambling, and refusal to acknowledge the consequences of his actions suggest possible signs of a gambling addiction or a more severe impulse control disorder. The fact that he becomes angry when discussing financial issues indicates a potential inability to cope with stress or reality, which can be symptomatic of various mental health conditions, including anxiety disorders or mood disorders.

Moreover, his emotional volatility—oscillating between good and bad moods—could suggest underlying mood instability, which may require professional evaluation. The urgency to return to gambling after a serious health scare, such as being hospitalized for asthma, is particularly concerning. This behavior not only puts him at risk but also places a significant emotional burden on your family, especially your mother.

Concerning Your Mother
Your mother's situation is equally concerning. The onset of depression-like symptoms, such as loss of appetite, persistent sadness, and difficulty coping with stress, can be exacerbated by her husband's behavior and the financial strain he has caused. The fact that she is already on medication for sleep issues and has high blood pressure indicates that she is dealing with significant stress, which can further complicate her mental health.

Given her current emotional state and the impact of your father's behavior on her well-being, it would be advisable for her to seek help from a mental health professional. A psychiatrist or psychologist can provide a comprehensive evaluation and recommend appropriate treatment options, which may include therapy and medication to help manage her symptoms.

Recommendations for Seeking Help
1. For Your Father: While it may be challenging to convince him to seek help, you might consider approaching the topic gently. Instead of labeling his behavior as a mental health issue, you could frame it as a concern for his well-being and the family's future. You might suggest that he speak with a counselor or therapist about stress management or financial planning, which may feel less threatening to him than a direct suggestion to see a psychiatrist.

2. For Your Mother: Given her symptoms and the emotional toll of your father's behavior, it would be beneficial for her to see a mental health professional. You can support her by offering to accompany her to the appointment or helping her find a suitable provider. Emphasize that seeking help is a sign of strength and that it can lead to a better quality of life.

3. Family Support: It’s crucial to create a supportive environment for both parents. Encourage open communication where feelings can be expressed without judgment. Family therapy could also be an option to consider, as it can help address the dynamics at play and facilitate healthier interactions.

4. Crisis Management: Given your concerns about potential harm, it’s essential to have a plan in place. If you ever feel that your father poses a risk to himself or others, or if your mother expresses thoughts of self-harm, do not hesitate to seek immediate help from emergency services or a crisis hotline.

Conclusion
Navigating mental health issues within a family can be incredibly challenging, especially when traditional views on mental health may prevent open discussions. It's important to approach these situations with empathy and understanding, while also prioritizing safety and well-being. Encourage your parents to seek help, and remember that you are not alone in this; there are professionals who can provide the necessary support and guidance. Your concern for their well-being is commendable, and taking steps to address these issues is crucial for the health of your family.

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