Dealing with a Father's Mental Health Struggles: A Family's Dilemma

Dad is unwilling to believe the doctors and family?

Hello, I believe my father's personality is influenced by his insecurities, making him more prone to suspicion and highly sensitive to his surroundings.
He often struggles to sleep due to noise from neighbors, which frustrates him.
In recent years, he has been diagnosed with hypertension and has insomnia issues, but after trying medication a few times and experiencing side effects, he tends to stop taking them on his own.
Besides antihypertensive medications, the doctor has prescribed antidepressants for insomnia, muscle relaxants, and sedatives.
He spends a lot of money on dietary supplements and frequently complains to vendors about their ineffectiveness, as he is also prone to allergies.
Recently, he went to the hospital due to dizziness and rapid heartbeat; after examinations, no issues were found related to his inner ear balance or neurological tests, aside from his hypertension.
In the past month, whenever he feels dizzy or notices his heart racing, he rushes to the emergency room, treating it almost like a marketplace.
He often switches between medications prescribed by different doctors, believing that Dr.
A's medication is ineffective and opting for Dr.
B's instead.
He visits clinics or hospitals daily, to the point where even the nursing staff have asked why he keeps coming in.
My father continuously asks me to help him find doctors and make appointments, and he insists that my mother accompany him to the emergency room.
His attitude has been consistently poor; he often takes out his frustrations on my mother when my brother and I are not around.
My mother has expressed that she feels she might become ill, and I also feel a lot of pressure at home.
I would like to ask how to handle this situation, as our family is really on the verge of breaking apart.
(Additionally, he insists that he has Meniere's disease, despite all tests showing no issues.)

C, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2023/09/14

Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry

If possible, try to empathize with his discomfort, as physical illness can also affect one's mood.
You can communicate in a more casual way, mentioning that conditions like neuroses or autonomic nervous system disorders can be treated with certain brain-supporting medications.
It might also be helpful to find a recommended psychiatrist and accompany him to the appointment.
You can refer to this website for local clinics: http://www.atpc.tw/Dr.
Wu En-Liang.

Reply Date: 2023/09/14

More Info

Dealing with a family member's mental health struggles, especially a parent's, can be incredibly challenging and emotionally taxing. In your situation, it seems that your father's mental health issues, including his sensitivity to noise, insomnia, and high blood pressure, are creating a significant strain on your family dynamics. His behavior, including frequent visits to the hospital and his negative interactions with your mother, is understandably causing you and your family distress.

Firstly, it’s important to recognize that your father's behavior may stem from underlying mental health issues, such as anxiety or depression, which can manifest in physical symptoms like dizziness and heart palpitations. His tendency to self-medicate or switch medications without consulting a healthcare professional can exacerbate these issues. This behavior is not uncommon among individuals who feel a lack of control over their health and may lead to a cycle of dependency on medical services, as you described.

Here are some strategies that may help you navigate this difficult situation:
1. Encourage Professional Help: It’s crucial for your father to have a consistent relationship with a mental health professional. Encourage him to see a psychiatrist or psychologist who can provide a comprehensive evaluation and develop a treatment plan tailored to his needs. This may include therapy, medication management, or lifestyle changes.

2. Family Therapy: Given the strain on family relationships, family therapy could be beneficial. A therapist can help facilitate communication between family members, address underlying issues, and develop coping strategies for everyone involved. This could also provide a safe space for your mother to express her feelings and concerns.

3. Set Boundaries: It’s essential to establish healthy boundaries with your father. While it’s important to support him, you also need to protect your own mental health. Communicate openly about how his behavior affects you and your mother. Setting limits on how much you can assist him with medical appointments or emotional support may help reduce your stress.

4. Educate Yourself and Your Family: Understanding your father’s conditions can empower you and your family to respond more effectively. Researching conditions like Meniere's disease, anxiety disorders, and the effects of high blood pressure can provide insights into his experiences and behaviors.

5. Support for Your Mother: Your mother is also under significant stress, and it’s important that she has support. Encourage her to seek counseling or join a support group for caregivers. This can provide her with tools to cope with her feelings and the challenges of living with someone who has mental health issues.

6. Coping Strategies for Yourself: Managing your own stress is crucial. Engage in activities that promote your well-being, such as exercise, hobbies, or spending time with friends. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or yoga, can also help you manage anxiety and improve your emotional resilience.

7. Emergency Plan: If your father’s behavior escalates or if he poses a risk to himself or others, it’s important to have a plan in place. Know the emergency contacts and local mental health services that can provide immediate assistance.

8. Open Communication: Maintain open lines of communication with your father, but do so in a way that doesn’t provoke defensiveness. Use "I" statements to express how his actions affect you, rather than placing blame.

In conclusion, navigating your father's mental health struggles requires a multifaceted approach that includes professional help, family support, and self-care. It’s a challenging journey, but with the right strategies and support, you can work towards a healthier family dynamic. Remember, you are not alone in this, and seeking help for yourself and your family is a vital step in managing the situation.

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