the Struggles of OCD and Depression: A Patient's Perspective

I'm sorry, but I cannot assist with that?

Hello Dr.
Chen, I am a patient with psychogenic disorders, specifically obsessive-compulsive disorder, affective depression, and sleep disturbances.
I have not visited the Taichung Hospital under the Ministry of Health and Welfare since my last appointment two years ago, primarily because my husband cannot accept my condition.
He often believes that I use my illness as an excuse, and sometimes he even provokes me by calling me crazy during arguments.
I truly feel helpless and powerless.
I don’t want to feel this way, but I really cannot control it.
I love them very much, yet I constantly feel anxious, fearing that my family will fall apart.
I worry that if my relationship with my husband deteriorates, a third party might take advantage of the situation.
I also worry about my son; whenever they are out of my sight, that feeling of unease and anxiety overwhelms me.
Those thoughts keep replaying in my mind, becoming more real and frightening the more I dwell on them.
My mind races like a motor, spinning faster and faster, and eventually, my behavior becomes abnormal.
There have been a few instances where I acted without awareness, and when I calm down, I have no recollection of those actions.
However, those moments of losing control have only happened a few times.
They often tell me not to overthink things, and I understand that I shouldn't, but I just can't seem to control it.
They cannot comprehend my feelings and my pain.
They say I only create suspicion, cause trouble, and cry, but I feel like they only criticize, provoke, and hurt me.
Their minds cannot grasp my thoughts; I don't know if it's my inability to express myself or if they have never truly tried to understand me.
They are unwilling to offer even basic care, comfort, or empathy.
I don’t understand why they just don’t get it.
I’m not sure what I want to express to you or what questions I should ask.
Perhaps I just want someone to talk to, maybe because you can understand.
I apologize for bothering you.

Hsuann~, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2004/08/17

Dr. Chen Guangpeng reply Psychiatry

Dear patient,
What you are facing is a common pain shared by many individuals with mental health disorders—the inability of those around us to understand and empathize with our conditions.
Mental health disorders cannot be diagnosed through blood tests, urine tests, or X-rays.
In fact, your situation may represent a sick family, but you are the one who is hurt the most, which is why seeking help is essential.
It may be beneficial to consider family therapy as well.

From another perspective, maintaining your own health relies on your own efforts; we cannot always expect changes in our external environment or seek validation from others.
Therefore, you should continue your treatment to at least improve your own condition.
If possible, use your progress as a foundation to extend the benefits to your entire family.

Reply Date: 2004/08/17

More Info

Hello,
Thank you for sharing your experiences and struggles with OCD, depression, and sleep disturbances. It’s clear that you are facing significant challenges, and it’s important to recognize that your feelings of helplessness and frustration are valid. Mental health conditions like OCD and depression can be incredibly isolating, especially when those around you do not understand or support your experiences.

From what you've described, it seems that your OCD manifests through intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors, which are often exacerbated by feelings of anxiety and fear regarding your relationships and family dynamics. This is a common experience for many individuals with OCD, where the mind becomes trapped in a cycle of worry and doubt, leading to compulsive actions that are intended to alleviate that anxiety, even if they ultimately do not provide relief.

Your feelings of insecurity about your family and the fear of losing your loved ones can intensify the symptoms of both OCD and depression. It’s not uncommon for individuals with these conditions to experience heightened anxiety about their relationships, leading to obsessive thoughts about potential threats, such as infidelity or abandonment. These thoughts can feel overwhelming and can lead to compulsive behaviors aimed at seeking reassurance or preventing perceived threats, which can further entrench the cycle of anxiety and compulsivity.

It’s also concerning to hear that your husband and family may not fully understand your condition or provide the support you need. This lack of understanding can lead to feelings of isolation and exacerbate your symptoms. It’s crucial for individuals with mental health conditions to have a support system that acknowledges their struggles and provides empathy rather than judgment. It might be helpful to consider family therapy or couples counseling, where a professional can facilitate discussions and help your family understand your experiences better.

You mentioned that your loved ones often tell you to "just stop thinking" or to "calm down," which can be frustrating and invalidating. It’s important to understand that OCD is not simply a matter of willpower; it is a complex condition that often requires professional treatment, including therapy and possibly medication. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), particularly Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), is considered one of the most effective treatments for OCD. This approach helps individuals confront their fears in a controlled manner and gradually reduce their compulsive behaviors.

Additionally, it may be beneficial for you to seek out a mental health professional who specializes in OCD and anxiety disorders. A therapist can provide you with coping strategies and tools to manage your symptoms more effectively. They can also help you work through the feelings of inadequacy and frustration that arise from your interactions with your family.

In terms of medication, if you are not currently on any, it might be worth discussing with a psychiatrist. Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) are commonly prescribed for OCD and depression and can help alleviate some of the symptoms you are experiencing.

Lastly, I want to emphasize the importance of self-compassion. It’s easy to fall into a cycle of self-blame and frustration when dealing with mental health issues, but it’s essential to treat yourself with kindness. Acknowledge that you are doing your best in a challenging situation, and it’s okay to seek help and support.

In summary, your experiences are significant, and it’s crucial to find a supportive environment where you can express your feelings and work towards managing your symptoms. Consider reaching out to a mental health professional who can guide you through this process, and don’t hesitate to communicate your needs to your family, even if it feels difficult. You deserve understanding and support as you navigate your mental health journey.

Take care, and I wish you strength and healing on your path forward.

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