My Mental Health: Seeking Answers and Support

What is wrong with me?

I have been undergoing treatment for about three weeks.
When I asked the doctor what was wrong with me, he changed the subject and seemed unwilling to tell me.
I turned to the counselor, who pointed to the medical record written in English and said there was nothing wrong, just persistent low mood (which I couldn't understand, so I didn't believe it).
No one wants to explain my anxious side to me.
Right now, I am taking Xanax 0.25 mg; it was effective when I first started, but now it feels like there's no difference between taking it and not taking it.
This might be because I swallowed 18 pills last week.
The doctor didn't change my medication and told me to try Xanax.
Last week, I took 7 Xanax pills.
Could this be why the medication is no longer effective? Recently, I feel a bit shaky when I walk, and my mind feels foggy.
My memory has worsened.
Are these side effects? I hear vibrations from a turned-off phone and footsteps, which frightens me.
I constantly think about dying.
I don't want to see sunlight; I always sleep during the day.
I get emotionally agitated over something someone says.
The doctor rarely asks me anything, only about my medication.
I see that he seems scared too, so I'm considering not going back.
Should I continue seeing him? Is this doctor trustworthy? If my medication is going well, he just keeps prescribing it; if not, he tells me to try something new without asking about my reactions.
Do I need psychological therapy? Weekly conversations? I feel that doesn't help me much.
I'm getting worse and worse, sinking deeper...
Damn those two people...
Please respond...
I don't know what to do right now...
Thank you!

ellen, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2001/04/13

Dr. Tang Xinbei reply Psychiatry

Dear Ellen,
After reading your recent emails, I sense that your emotional fluctuations are still significant.
Based on what you have described, medication treatment could be beneficial for your situation, but please be patient as it may take three to four weeks for the effects to gradually manifest.
Regarding the restlessness you mentioned, it could be a symptom of your condition or a side effect of the medication.

You mentioned taking 18 pills; did you take them all at once, or is that the total amount you took over a week? If it was the former, it could lead to more side effects.
Since I am not aware of the specific medications you are taking or your primary physician's perspective, I recommend discussing all these feelings with your doctor and therapist.

If you agree, I would like to forward your letter to the Taipei Medical Center, so their physicians can take a moment from their busy schedules to assist you.
I hope you can trust your doctors and discuss your condition and medication with them.
I also urge you not to take any actions that could harm yourself or others! If you feel unable to control such impulses, I would suggest considering a short hospitalization.

Wishing you peace and joy!

Reply Date: 2001/04/13

More Info

It sounds like you are going through an incredibly challenging time, and I want to acknowledge the pain and confusion you are experiencing. Seeking help for mental health issues is a brave step, and it's important to find the right support that resonates with your needs.
From what you've described, it seems that you are feeling a mix of frustration, fear, and hopelessness regarding your mental health treatment. You mentioned that you have been in therapy for about three weeks, but you feel that your concerns are not being adequately addressed by your doctor or therapist. This can be a common experience for many individuals seeking mental health support, especially when they feel that their symptoms are not being taken seriously or understood.

Firstly, it's crucial to understand that medications like Xanax (alprazolam) can have varying effects on different individuals. While it may have initially helped you, the fact that you feel it is no longer effective could be due to several factors, including tolerance, dosage, or even the underlying issues that are not being addressed. Taking a higher dose than prescribed can also lead to increased side effects and potential dependency, which is concerning. The symptoms you describe, such as feeling shaky, having a foggy mind, and experiencing auditory hallucinations, could indeed be side effects of the medication or a sign that your mental health needs further evaluation.

It's also important to consider that effective treatment for mental health issues often requires a combination of medication and therapy. While medication can help manage symptoms, therapy provides a space to explore underlying issues, develop coping strategies, and work towards emotional healing. If you feel that your current therapist is not providing the support you need, it may be worth seeking a second opinion or finding a therapist who specializes in the specific issues you are facing, such as anxiety, depression, or trauma.

You mentioned feeling increasingly hopeless and having thoughts of self-harm. This is a serious concern, and I urge you to reach out for immediate help if you are in crisis. Contact a mental health professional, a crisis hotline, or go to the nearest emergency room. You deserve to be heard and supported, and there are people who can help you through this difficult time.

In terms of your current doctor, trust is a fundamental aspect of the therapeutic relationship. If you feel uncomfortable or unheard, it is entirely reasonable to seek a new healthcare provider. A good doctor should listen to your concerns, ask about your experiences, and work collaboratively with you to find the best treatment plan.
Lastly, consider incorporating self-care practices into your routine, such as mindfulness, journaling, or gentle physical activity, which can help manage anxiety and improve your mood. Surround yourself with supportive friends or family members who can provide emotional support during this time.

In summary, it is essential to advocate for your mental health needs. If your current treatment is not working, don't hesitate to seek out new options, whether that means changing medications, finding a new therapist, or exploring different therapeutic approaches. Your mental health is a priority, and you deserve to find the support that works for you. Please take care of yourself, and remember that help is available.

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