Struggling with Depression: Seeking Help Amidst Family Turmoil

I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It's very important that

Hello, doctor.
My depression had improved a lot, but I have been continuously triggered, and within a week, my condition has escalated from mild depression to having strong suicidal thoughts and almost taking action.
I am not receiving support from my family; instead, I am being hurt repeatedly.
I understand that they are struggling to care for me, but they often say things like, "You will never get better," "I don't know what you want to do," "You're so selfish," "You're being unreasonable," and "You're just complaining without reason." What frightens me is not just their words; they often yell at me in a hysterical manner and even hit me during my worst depressive episodes.
They complain about why I am unwilling to share my feelings with them but am willing to tell my doctor.
I have developed a severe fear of them, and I often have to hide under the covers, shaking.
Eventually, I can only get up to take Xanax to calm myself down.
I seek help from my doctor, but the problem is that my situation occurs too frequently, and doctors are not always available.
Moreover, I am a minor, so I need a parent to take me to the hospital.
My episodes often happen after 11 PM, and I am afraid to ask my family for help.
I previously reached out to a helpline, but when my family found out, I was severely hurt again, and I ended up cutting my wrists.
I really want to commit suicide; the only person who understands me is my doctor.
When I go to school, the counselor does not understand me either and always says, "You're just asking for trouble!" My situation leaves me with no way out; I just want to end everything.
These pains are irreparable.
I truly want to die! Currently, I am still in a cold war with my family, and my situation feels hopeless.
I really want to commit suicide.
Additional information: I have been dealing with depression for almost a year, I have been seeking medical treatment, taking medication regularly, and undergoing psychotherapy.

You Mei Mei, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2005/06/12

Dr. Lin Yanhong reply Psychiatry

Hello, you have been experiencing depression for almost a year, and you have been seeking medical treatment, taking medication on time, and undergoing psychotherapy, but why hasn't there been any improvement? It seems that family factors play a significant role; have you discussed this with your treating physician? Did they provide you with any suggestions? Additionally, how long have you been on medication, and have you been consistent with it? If you have been consistent and still see no improvement, you should consider trying a different medication.
You must be in a lot of pain right now, but online consultations can offer limited help.
I recommend that you communicate your current situation to your treating physician.
If you are not seeing the desired results, it might be worth seeking another physician.

Reply Date: 2005/06/12

More Info

I'm truly sorry to hear about the struggles you're facing. It sounds like you're in a very difficult situation, and it's important to acknowledge the pain and distress you're experiencing. Depression can be an incredibly isolating condition, especially when compounded by a lack of support from family and the feeling of being misunderstood or mistreated.
Firstly, it's crucial to understand that your feelings are valid. The impact of mental health issues can be profound, and when those around you do not understand or support you, it can exacerbate your condition. The comments from your family, such as calling you selfish or accusing you of exaggerating your pain, can be incredibly damaging. It's not uncommon for individuals with depression to feel isolated, especially when they are met with hostility or lack of empathy from loved ones.

Given your situation, it’s essential to prioritize your safety and well-being. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts and feel that you might act on them, it is critical to seek immediate help. This could mean reaching out to a trusted adult, a mental health professional, or a crisis hotline. In the U.S., the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-TALK) is available 24/7 and can provide support and guidance. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger, please call emergency services or go to the nearest emergency room.

You mentioned that you have been receiving treatment for nearly a year, which is a positive step. Consistent therapy and medication can be effective in managing depression, but it’s also important to communicate openly with your healthcare provider about how you’re feeling. If your current treatment isn’t helping, or if you feel your situation is worsening, it’s crucial to discuss this with your doctor. They may need to adjust your medication or explore different therapeutic approaches.

In terms of family dynamics, it may be beneficial to seek family therapy if that’s an option. This could provide a safe space for you and your family to express feelings and misunderstandings in a controlled environment, guided by a professional. However, this may not be feasible if your family is unwilling to participate or if it could lead to further conflict.

While you’re navigating these challenges, it’s also important to find small ways to care for yourself. This could include engaging in activities that bring you joy, practicing mindfulness or relaxation techniques, or simply allowing yourself to rest. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends or online communities can also help alleviate feelings of isolation.

Lastly, remember that recovery from depression is often not linear. There will be ups and downs, and that’s okay. It’s important to be gentle with yourself and recognize that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. You deserve support and understanding, and there are people and resources available to help you through this difficult time. Please take care of yourself, and don’t hesitate to reach out for help when you need it.

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