Does Long-Term Marriage Diminish Sexual Desire and Fertility?

The longer a couple is married, the less interest they may have in sexual intimacy?

Hello, doctor! I have been married for four and a half years.
For the first three years, we used condoms for contraception, and for the past year and a half, we have tried to have intercourse during my ovulation period, but we have not been able to conceive.
My menstrual cycle is regular and normal, and both my husband and I have undergone sperm analysis and hysterosalpingography, which showed normal results, although my prolactin levels are slightly elevated.

I would like to ask: why do my husband and I feel that our intimacy is not as exciting, passionate, or impulsive as it was when we first got married? Does being married for a longer time lead to a loss of sexual interest? Is it harder for women to reach orgasm as time goes on? Would buying lingerie help?
Additionally, could mild scoliosis or retroverted uterus contribute to infertility? Thank you!

Xiao Qi, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2006/04/02

Dr. Xu Junzheng reply Obstetrics and Gynecology

Your issue may be more related to your mood.
Mild scoliosis or retroverted uterus typically does not cause infertility.
Thank you!

Reply Date: 2006/04/02

More Info

Long-term marriage can indeed influence sexual desire and fertility, but the effects can vary widely among couples. It is not uncommon for couples to experience a shift in their sexual dynamics over time. Initially, many couples experience heightened sexual excitement and novelty, often referred to as the "honeymoon phase." As time passes, the intensity of sexual desire may diminish for various reasons, including routine, stress, and changes in emotional intimacy.

One of the primary factors contributing to a decrease in sexual desire is the establishment of routine. In the early stages of a relationship, sexual encounters are often spontaneous and filled with novelty. However, as couples settle into a long-term relationship, sexual activity may become more predictable and less exciting. This can lead to a decrease in sexual desire, as the thrill of the unknown diminishes. Additionally, life stressors such as work, financial concerns, and family responsibilities can further impact sexual desire and intimacy.

Regarding your concerns about achieving orgasm, it is essential to recognize that sexual satisfaction is influenced by various factors, including emotional connection, communication, and individual comfort levels. Over time, couples may find it challenging to maintain the same level of excitement, which can affect the ability to reach orgasm. Open communication about desires, preferences, and any concerns can help rekindle intimacy and enhance sexual experiences.

As for the use of novelty items like lingerie, they can indeed add excitement to a couple's sexual life. Engaging in new experiences together can help reignite passion and curiosity. However, it is crucial to approach these changes as a team, ensuring both partners feel comfortable and excited about exploring new avenues in their sexual relationship.

Regarding your fertility concerns, it is good to hear that both you and your husband have undergone tests that returned normal results. Elevated prolactin levels can sometimes interfere with ovulation and fertility, so it may be worth discussing this with your healthcare provider. Conditions such as mild scoliosis or a retroverted uterus typically do not cause infertility, but they can sometimes contribute to discomfort during intercourse or affect the positioning of the uterus, which may influence conception in some cases.

In conclusion, while long-term marriage can lead to changes in sexual desire and dynamics, it is essential to approach these changes with understanding and open communication. Exploring new experiences together, addressing any underlying health concerns, and maintaining emotional intimacy can help couples navigate these challenges. If you continue to have concerns about fertility or sexual satisfaction, consider consulting a healthcare professional or a sex therapist who can provide personalized guidance and support.

Similar Q&A

Understanding the Causes of Low Libido: A Guide for Couples

Hello Dr. Hsu, I have been troubled by this issue for two years and have not found a solution, which has been quite distressing. I have been living abroad for many years, and it is not as easy to find specialists in this area as it is in Taiwan. My boyfriend took medication for ...

Dr. Xu Weikai reply Urology
Xiao An: Hello, I would like to mention that some hair loss medications can indeed affect male sexual function. Although the incidence is low, there is still a possibility. Generally, sexual function returns to normal after discontinuing the medication. In his case, I believe it ...

Is Long-Term Abstinence from Masturbation Harmful to Sexual Health?

Hello, doctor. I have a low sex drive and used to masturbate once a week. However, in the past two months, I have hardly masturbated at all and have been relying on nocturnal emissions instead. After researching, I found that many people say that long-term abstinence can negative...

Dr. Du Shixi reply Urology
Hello: If you don't want to, then don't; only do it if you feel like it. Long-term abstinence may negatively affect mental health. DIY methods are not necessarily effective, so avoid reading articles that might influence you negatively. Regarding poor sperm quality and ...

Understanding Erectile Dysfunction: Impact of Sleep and Mood on Sexual Health

Hello, I haven't had much sexual desire for a while, and even when I do, I experience incomplete erections, feeling somewhat weak. Could long-term feelings of sadness and frequently sleeping past midnight reduce sexual function? Additionally, my sleep quality is quite poor. ...

Dr. Xu Weikai reply Urology
Hello, when there is a long-term decline in physical health or excessive fatigue, it can lead to hormonal imbalances in the body, which naturally affects sexual function. Additionally, poor sleep quality, along with staying up late, can also impact physiological conditions, and o...

Does Low Libido Affect Fertility? Understanding the Connection

Hello: I would like to ask, is sexual dysfunction the same as infertility? If there is a normal sexual life but the woman has a lower libido, will it affect the chances of conception?

Dr. Li Guanghan reply Obstetrics and Gynecology
Hello: I have heard similar statements, but I have not yet read any evidence-based medical research reports. Thank you! Hsinchu City Hospital, Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology.