Dementia: How to Help Your Loved One with Memory Loss

Dementia in the elderly

Doctor: Hello! My mother is 68 years old and has been experiencing memory decline in recent years.
Last year, we took her to Shin Kong Wu Ho-Su Memorial Hospital in Taipei for an evaluation, and the doctor said it was natural aging.
She is still able to take care of herself, and her condition was deemed acceptable, so no treatment was necessary.
However, this year, I feel that her situation has worsened significantly.
First, she seems very anxious and tends to obsess over things.
In our conversations, she repeatedly thinks about and insists on her own interpretations, and she even experiences delusions.
For instance, she claims things exist that clearly do not, and she misattributes my words to others.
There is no denying that many of our communications, which are simply expressions of concern for her, are interpreted through her own lens, leading to deep misunderstandings within the family.
As her daughter, I feel a profound sense of helplessness and sorrow.
She turns things that are clearly not true into major accusations, which makes me wonder if this is a form of dementia.
How can we help her? She has become someone who feels no one can assist her and does not listen to others' advice.
If we seek medical help, should we consult a specialist in this area? Would that be beneficial? Thank you.

Xiao Jin, 40~49 year old female. Ask Date: 2007/06/21

Dr. Zhang Yangpei reply Neurology

Hello, regarding your mother's condition, it is indeed possible that she is exhibiting symptoms of dementia, which is a concern shared by many families of patients.
Based on your description, it seems that your mother may also be experiencing symptoms similar to depression.
I recommend that you take her to a neurology clinic for a follow-up examination and assessment.
Even if her scores on dementia tests are not high, she may still be showing early signs of dementia, specifically Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI).
Please try not to feel upset; your mother’s behavior is not due to any dislike for you, but rather a result of her illness.
Therefore, she needs your understanding and assistance in seeking medical care.
What you can do is to be there for her, encourage her to socialize, engage in physical activities, pursue her interests, and adhere to the medication prescribed by her doctor.

Reply Date: 2007/06/21

More Info

Understanding dementia and how to support a loved one experiencing memory loss can be a challenging and emotional journey. Based on your description, it sounds like your mother may be exhibiting signs that could be associated with dementia, particularly given her recent changes in behavior, memory, and perception of reality.
Dementia is an umbrella term for a range of cognitive impairments that affect memory, thinking, and social abilities severely enough to interfere with daily life. Alzheimer's disease is the most common form of dementia, but there are other types, including vascular dementia, Lewy body dementia, and frontotemporal dementia. The symptoms can vary widely, but they often include memory loss, confusion, difficulty with language, and changes in mood or behavior.

Given that your mother has been evaluated previously and was deemed to be experiencing natural cognitive decline, it’s important to recognize that dementia can progress over time. The behaviors you describe—such as her insistence on her interpretations of conversations, her tendency to fixate on certain thoughts, and her difficulty accepting others' perspectives—could indicate a more advanced stage of cognitive decline. These behaviors can be frustrating and heartbreaking for family members, as they may lead to misunderstandings and emotional distress.

Here are some strategies to help support your mother and navigate this challenging situation:
1. Consult a Specialist: It would be beneficial to take your mother to a neurologist or a geriatrician who specializes in cognitive disorders. They can conduct a thorough assessment, including cognitive tests and possibly brain imaging, to determine the extent of her condition and recommend appropriate interventions.

2. Create a Supportive Environment: Establish a calm and structured environment. Familiar routines can help reduce anxiety and confusion. Use clear, simple language when communicating with her, and try to avoid arguing or correcting her when she expresses misconceptions. Instead, validate her feelings without necessarily agreeing with her perspective.

3. Encourage Engagement: Engage her in activities that she enjoys and that stimulate her mind, such as puzzles, reading, or crafts. Social interaction is also important, so encourage family visits or group activities that can provide her with a sense of community and belonging.

4. Educate Yourself and Family Members: Understanding dementia and its effects can help you and your family members respond more compassionately and effectively. There are many resources available, including books, online courses, and support groups for caregivers.

5. Consider Professional Help: If her behavior becomes increasingly difficult to manage, consider seeking help from a professional caregiver or therapist who specializes in dementia care. They can provide strategies for managing challenging behaviors and offer respite for family caregivers.

6. Focus on the Positive: While it can be difficult to see a loved one change, try to focus on the moments of connection you can still have. Reminiscing about happy memories, looking at old photos, or listening to her favorite music can create meaningful interactions.

7. Plan for the Future: As dementia progresses, it’s important to discuss and plan for future care needs. This includes legal and financial planning, as well as discussing her wishes regarding medical care.

8. Take Care of Yourself: Caring for someone with dementia can be emotionally and physically exhausting. Make sure to take time for yourself, seek support from friends or support groups, and consider counseling if you feel overwhelmed.

In conclusion, while it can be distressing to witness a loved one experience memory loss and cognitive decline, there are ways to provide support and improve their quality of life. Seeking professional guidance, creating a supportive environment, and maintaining open lines of communication with your mother can make a significant difference in her well-being and your family dynamics.

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