Ejaculation Issues: Concerns About Masturbation and Fertility - Urology

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Hello Doctor: My question is that I started masturbating in elementary school, and it was mostly through friction.
I used to do it daily, but now that I'm in college, I find myself masturbating almost every day, sometimes even three times a day.
I really enjoy watching adult films, which often leads to ejaculation.
However, when I have sex with my girlfriend, I struggle to ejaculate, even though my penis remains erect.
What could be the reason for this, and are there any remedies? Additionally, I'm concerned about whether frequent masturbation could lead to a decrease in sperm count, potentially affecting my future fertility.
This worries me because I can't seem to ejaculate no matter how aroused I am.
Could you please help me with this? Thank you.

Hao fan nao, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2007/07/31

Dr. Pan Zhenqin reply Urology


Experiencing ejaculation issues during actual intercourse while being able to ejaculate during masturbation may be more related to your emotional state.
Do you feel pressure or anxiety when being intimate with your girlfriend? I suggest you try to relax and enjoy the act of making love.
If there is no improvement, you might consider having your girlfriend assist you with masturbation to achieve ejaculation, and then try intercourse afterward or on another day.
If the problem persists, it would be advisable to consult a urologist or a specialized sexual health clinic to identify the underlying issues.
Wishing you success! PS: While masturbation is a normal activity for young people, doing it too frequently can lead to fatigue, so it's best to practice moderation.

Reply Date: 2007/07/31

More Info


Understanding ejaculation issues, particularly in the context of masturbation and fertility, is a common concern among young men. It's important to address both the psychological and physiological aspects of this issue.

Firstly, frequent masturbation, even multiple times a day, is generally considered normal and does not inherently lead to infertility or a significant reduction in sperm count. The human body is quite resilient, and while excessive masturbation might lead to temporary fatigue or reduced sexual arousal, it does not permanently deplete sperm reserves. Sperm production is a continuous process, and the body typically produces millions of sperm daily. However, if you are experiencing difficulties with ejaculation during intercourse, this could be due to several factors.

One potential reason for your difficulty in ejaculating during sex, despite being able to do so during masturbation, is the difference in stimulation and psychological factors. Masturbation often allows for a level of control and familiarity that may not be present during sexual intercourse. The excitement and anxiety that can accompany sexual activity with a partner might lead to performance anxiety, which can inhibit ejaculation. This is not uncommon and can happen to many men at various points in their sexual lives.

Another factor to consider is the technique used during masturbation. If you have developed a specific method or rhythm that works for you when you are alone, it may not translate to the different sensations and dynamics of partnered sex. This can create a disconnect that makes it difficult to reach ejaculation during intercourse.

To address these concerns, here are a few strategies you might consider:
1. Communication with Your Partner: Openly discussing your experiences and feelings with your girlfriend can help alleviate some of the pressure you may feel during sex. Understanding and support from your partner can significantly reduce anxiety.

2. Experimentation: Try to incorporate techniques from your masturbation routine into your sexual encounters. This might include varying the pace, pressure, or positions to find what feels best for you.

3. Relaxation Techniques: Engaging in relaxation exercises or mindfulness practices can help reduce anxiety and improve your overall sexual experience. Techniques such as deep breathing or focusing on the sensations rather than the outcome can be beneficial.

4. Professional Guidance: If the issue persists, consider consulting a healthcare professional or a sex therapist. They can provide tailored advice and strategies to help you overcome these challenges.

5. Limit Stimulation: If you find that frequent masturbation is affecting your sexual performance, consider moderating the frequency. This might help recalibrate your arousal levels and improve your sexual experience with your partner.

In summary, while your concerns about fertility and ejaculation are valid, it's crucial to understand that frequent masturbation is unlikely to cause long-term fertility issues. The challenges you face during intercourse may be more related to psychological factors and the dynamics of partnered sex rather than physical limitations. By addressing these aspects and possibly seeking professional help, you can work towards a more satisfying sexual experience.

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