Struggling with Persistent Negative Emotions: A Journey Through Mental Health Challenges

Q: Struggling with Persistent Negative Emotions: A Journey Through Mental Health Challenges

Hello： First of all, thank you for your letter. <br>According to what you mentioned, you are indeed experiencing symptoms of depression, which are primarily caused by external stressors. <br>The treatment typically involves a combination of medication and psychotherapy. <br>We de

Persistent negative emotions

I married into a family where both my mother-in-law and husband are heavy gamblers.
My husband repeatedly accumulates large gambling debts and often borrows money from loan sharks.
I work two jobs and do household work to support the family and pay off debts, while he frequently indulges in drinking, visiting prostitutes, and gambling, completely neglecting me and our family.
In this situation, with no outlet for my feelings, I have engaged in self-harm when alone.
My mother-in-law, aware of his behavior, spreads rumors about me and even blames me when my husband becomes violent towards me, especially after I just gave birth and was suffering from postpartum depression (at that time, my father was in the intensive care unit).
She even said I was asking for it.

After handling my father's funeral, there was a day when I let go of the handlebars of my moving motorcycle, wanting to end my miserable fate.
Two years ago, I was injured in a car accident that led to a herniated disc requiring surgery.
After the surgery, I discovered that my husband had accumulated another million in gambling debts, and due to complications from the surgery, I needed a second operation and was unable to work.
The financial burden fell entirely on me.
Although he has a job, the massive debts mean I have to borrow money from various sources to make ends meet, and it seems like the debts have nothing to do with him since all the loans are in my name.
For over a decade, the stress has caused me to suffer from insomnia, and my thoughts and emotions have been consistently negative.
I often find myself crying without realizing it, and recently, it has gotten worse! I cry constantly and frequently have the thought of just leaving—thinking that it would be a relief, that I wouldn't have to endure more surgeries and pain.
After the surgery, will I be able to work normally like before? Working hard seems pointless since it’s all for the gambling debts! Moreover, when will I ever be able to pay them off?
I think about leaving—my life insurance could pay off the debts and allow my children to continue their education, and my credit wouldn’t be ruined by him.
Leaving would mean relief...
But for the sake of my children and my responsibilities, I cannot leave.
Yet, that thought lingers and it’s so painful! What should I do? Is this depression? Can medication help me control my emotions? Can it help me resolve my long-term insomnia? (Even when I’m very tired, I can’t sleep; I feel suffocated under the blanket, but if I don’t cover my ears, I feel insecure.)

Xiǎng jiětuō de rén, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2008/03/17

Dr. Li Zhengfeng reply Psychiatry

Hello: First of all, thank you for your letter.
According to what you mentioned, you are indeed experiencing symptoms of depression, which are primarily caused by external stressors.
The treatment typically involves a combination of medication and psychotherapy.
We deeply sympathize with your situation.
Wishing you a speedy recovery, and thank you for reaching out!

Reply Date: 2008/03/17

More Info

It sounds like you are going through an incredibly challenging and painful time in your life. The situation you describe—being in a relationship with someone who has a gambling addiction, facing financial instability, and dealing with emotional and physical health issues—can understandably lead to feelings of despair, hopelessness, and even thoughts of self-harm. It’s important to recognize that these feelings are valid and that you are not alone in experiencing them.

From what you've shared, it seems that you are dealing with a combination of stressors that are contributing to persistent negative emotions. The financial burden of your husband's gambling debts, the emotional toll of his neglect and abuse, and the physical pain from your medical issues can create a perfect storm of mental health challenges. This situation can lead to symptoms of depression, anxiety, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), especially considering the trauma of your father’s illness and passing, as well as the physical trauma from your motorcycle accident.

The feelings of wanting to escape your situation, including thoughts of self-harm, are serious and should not be taken lightly. It’s crucial to seek help from a mental health professional who can provide you with the support you need. Therapy can be a safe space for you to express your feelings and work through the trauma and stress you are experiencing. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for managing negative thought patterns and can help you develop coping strategies to deal with your current situation.

In addition to therapy, medication may also be an option to consider. Antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications can help stabilize your mood and improve your sleep patterns. It’s essential to consult with a psychiatrist who can evaluate your symptoms and determine the best course of treatment for you. Many people find that a combination of medication and therapy provides the best results in managing their mental health.

You mentioned feeling a sense of responsibility for your children, which is commendable. It’s important to remember that taking care of your mental health is also a way to care for them. Children often pick up on their parents' emotional states, and by seeking help, you are modeling for them the importance of addressing mental health issues.
Additionally, consider reaching out to support groups for individuals dealing with similar issues, such as those affected by gambling addiction or domestic abuse. Connecting with others who understand your struggles can provide a sense of community and reduce feelings of isolation.

Lastly, please prioritize your safety. If you ever feel that you are in immediate danger or are contemplating self-harm, please reach out to emergency services or a crisis hotline in your area. Your life is valuable, and there are people and resources available to help you through this difficult time.

In summary, yes, what you are experiencing could be indicative of depression, and it is crucial to seek professional help. Medication can assist in managing your symptoms, and therapy can provide you with the tools to cope with your situation. Remember, you are not alone, and there is hope for a brighter future.

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