Family issues
Hello doctor, I have a cousin whose intelligence may not be typical compared to others.
However, previous school assessments have classified him as normal and not reaching the level of intellectual disability.
Since elementary school, he has sometimes struggled to understand personal boundaries; for example, he might touch someone, which could potentially be considered sexual harassment.
Now that he is in college (where some universities may accept students with financial means), he has a history of heart surgery and began to return to school about a year ago.
However, he has started to exhibit a range of concerning behaviors at home, such as managing finances poorly—he cannot keep track of how much he collects or spends—and he has been visiting bars and engaging in sexual relationships, showing signs of addiction.
He is only 20 years old and seems unable to make sound judgments; for instance, he would spend 4000 NTD on a taxi just to reach a hotel in the south, and it seems he has already spent over 1 million NTD, which is a heavy burden for the family.
Any money in the house tends to disappear.
His aunt even took him to the police station, but the police said there is nothing they can do since it falls under the category of third-degree relatives, similar to how one cannot take action if their own child brings someone into the house to steal.
I would like to ask if, in such a situation, it is possible to seek a psychiatric evaluation to determine if he could be classified as a person under guardianship? This is because he might sign promissory notes or be manipulated into harmful situations, which could drag the entire family down.
He has also stolen money from family members' wallets, and now he is causing relatives to have irrational thoughts, such as considering marrying a foreign bride as a way to vent his frustrations—this line of thinking is truly concerning.
Is this situation indicative of a mental health issue? It has become impossible to handle rationally, and I would like to know if there are any solutions, or if this is just a part of life that we must accept.
It feels like we must constantly care for him, but those who provide care become exhausted and may even develop negative thoughts themselves.
Alternatively, if we isolate him, he wouldn't cause trouble, but he is still the only child, making it difficult to be strict with him.
As a result, adults nearby are left feeling drained and burdened.
Is it possible that someone like him cannot receive help from a psychiatrist because he may not even understand what we are saying? Listening to this situation is exhausting for us, and it is a burden on the family as well.
chia, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2009/11/28
Dr. Wang Chongren reply Psychiatry
Dear Dr.
Wang Chong-Ren, Department of Psychiatry, Tainan Hospital, Ministry of Health and Welfare:
Hello,
Regarding your inquiry about your cousin's main issues, it appears that he has problems with judgment, as well as impulsive spending, a preoccupation with sexual behavior, and theft of household items.
If your cousin is willing, he can be taken to a psychiatric department for further evaluation.
As for guardianship, it pertains to individuals with mental incapacitation who have lost their ability to act; a court application must be submitted first, followed by an evaluation by a psychiatrist.
Wishing you good health and peace of mind!
Sincerely,
Department of Psychiatry, Tainan Hospital, Ministry of Health and Welfare
Reply Date: 2009/11/28
More Info
Navigating family challenges, especially when mental health issues are involved, can be incredibly complex and emotionally taxing. In the case of your cousin, it seems that there are multiple layers of concern, including potential cognitive impairments, behavioral issues, and the impact of these on family dynamics.
From what you've described, it appears that your cousin may be exhibiting signs of impaired judgment and social understanding, which can be indicative of underlying mental health issues. While he may not meet the criteria for an intellectual disability, his behavior suggests that he may struggle with social cues and boundaries, which can lead to inappropriate actions, such as touching others or engaging in risky behaviors like substance use or sexual encounters. These behaviors can be alarming and pose significant risks not only to him but also to those around him.
Given that he has a history of heart surgery and has recently returned to school, it’s possible that the stress of adjusting to a new environment, combined with any cognitive or emotional challenges, is exacerbating his difficulties. The fact that he has reportedly spent a significant amount of money irresponsibly raises further concerns about his ability to manage finances and make sound decisions. This could be a sign of impulsivity, which is often associated with various mental health conditions, including mood disorders or personality disorders.
In terms of seeking help, it is crucial to approach this situation with a multi-faceted strategy. First, it would be beneficial for your cousin to undergo a comprehensive evaluation by a mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist. This evaluation can help determine whether he has a diagnosable mental health condition that requires treatment. If he is found to have a mental health disorder, appropriate interventions, including therapy and possibly medication, could be recommended.
Regarding the legal aspects of his behavior, such as the potential for being declared a ward of the state or having a guardian appointed, this typically involves a legal process that assesses an individual's capacity to make decisions for themselves. If it is determined that he lacks the ability to manage his affairs due to mental incapacity, then legal guardianship may be pursued. This is a serious step and should be considered carefully, as it can significantly impact his autonomy and quality of life.
It’s also important to address the emotional toll this situation is taking on your family. Caregivers often experience burnout, frustration, and feelings of helplessness when dealing with a loved one’s mental health issues. It may be beneficial for family members to seek support through counseling or support groups, where they can share their experiences and learn coping strategies. This can help alleviate some of the emotional burden and provide a space for family members to express their feelings and concerns.
Lastly, while it may feel overwhelming, it’s essential to remember that there is hope for improvement. With the right support and interventions, individuals with mental health challenges can learn to manage their symptoms and lead fulfilling lives. It’s crucial to approach your cousin’s situation with compassion and understanding, while also setting appropriate boundaries to protect both him and your family.
In summary, navigating the complexities of mental health within a family context requires a thoughtful and compassionate approach. Seeking professional help, considering legal options if necessary, and ensuring that family members have the support they need are all critical steps in addressing these challenges. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there are resources available to help you and your family cope with these difficulties.
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