Adolescent Physical and Mental Development
My son just started junior high school this year.
At first, everything was fine, but recently he has been having conflicts with his teachers frequently (for example, talking back) or getting up to walk around and throw away trash during class.
If a classmate provokes him verbally, he responds aggressively, saying, "Then just give me a major demerit!" His temper is getting worse, and he tends to get angry easily.
I've tried various approaches, both gentle and strict, but nothing seems to work.
Every day, the communication notebook from school is filled with red ink from the teachers, and I don't know how to teach him.
Should I consider taking him for therapy?
sung, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2009/12/26
Dr. Wang Chongren reply Psychiatry
Dear Dr.
Wang Chong-Ren of the Tainan Hospital, Department of Psychiatry,
Greetings.
The antisocial behavior exhibited by your son may be a normal transitional response during this adolescent phase.
However, it also tests the dynamics of the parent-child relationship, requiring mutual adjustments.
Parents, teachers, and society should guide him with an open and understanding attitude to help him navigate this transition into adulthood successfully.
Adults should show more care and listen to the child's feelings.
While it is acceptable to disagree with his behavior, rational communication is essential; avoid outright denial or blame.
Generally, adolescents undergo rapid physiological, psychological, and social changes.
They often seek acceptance from parents, teachers, and society, but may express their inner turmoil and lack of confidence through inappropriate behaviors.
It is advisable for you to communicate with your husband and the school teachers to collectively address your child's changes during adolescence.
If necessary, seek assistance from the school counselor.
Wishing you good health and peace of mind.
Sincerely,
Department of Psychiatry, Tainan Hospital, Ministry of Health and Welfare
Reply Date: 2009/12/26
More Info
Understanding adolescent behavioral issues can be challenging for both parents and educators. Your son’s recent behavioral changes, such as conflicts with teachers, impulsive actions in class, and increased irritability, are concerning and warrant attention. It’s essential to approach this situation with empathy and a willingness to understand the underlying causes of his behavior.
Adolescence is a tumultuous period characterized by significant physical, emotional, and social changes. During this time, teenagers often grapple with identity formation, peer relationships, and academic pressures. These factors can lead to increased frustration and emotional outbursts. Your son’s behavior may be a manifestation of these developmental challenges, but it could also indicate deeper issues such as anxiety, depression, or even attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
Here are some steps you can take to support your son and determine whether professional help is needed:
1. Open Communication: Establish a safe space for your son to express his feelings and frustrations. Encourage him to share what’s bothering him, whether it’s school-related stress, peer pressure, or feelings of inadequacy. Active listening without judgment can help him feel understood and supported.
2. Monitor Behavior: Keep track of specific incidents that occur at school and at home. Note any patterns or triggers that lead to his outbursts. This information can be valuable when discussing his behavior with teachers or mental health professionals.
3. Engage with Teachers: Collaborate with your son’s teachers to gain insight into his behavior in the classroom. They may have observed specific triggers or patterns that you might not be aware of. A unified approach between home and school can create a more supportive environment for your son.
4. Teach Coping Strategies: Help your son develop healthy coping mechanisms for managing anger and frustration. Techniques such as deep breathing, mindfulness, or physical activity can be effective in reducing stress and improving emotional regulation.
5. Set Clear Expectations: Establish clear behavioral expectations and consequences at home. Consistency is key in helping your son understand the importance of respectful communication and appropriate behavior.
6. Consider Professional Help: If your son’s behavior continues to escalate or if you notice signs of anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns, it may be time to seek professional help. A child psychologist or counselor can provide a safe space for your son to explore his feelings and develop coping strategies. They can also assess whether there are underlying issues contributing to his behavior.
7. Family Support: Encourage family activities that promote bonding and communication. Engaging in shared interests or hobbies can strengthen your relationship and provide a positive outlet for emotions.
8. Educate Yourself: Understanding adolescent development and behavioral issues can empower you as a parent. Consider reading books or attending workshops on parenting teenagers to gain insights into effective strategies for managing behavioral challenges.
In conclusion, while your son’s behavior may be a typical part of adolescent development, it’s crucial to remain vigilant and proactive. By fostering open communication, collaborating with educators, and seeking professional guidance when necessary, you can help your son navigate this challenging phase of life and develop the skills he needs to thrive. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and addressing these issues early can lead to positive outcomes for your child’s emotional and behavioral health.
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