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Hello Dr.
Chiu: My mother began experiencing depression after giving birth to my younger brother when I was in kindergarten.
Later, she attempted suicide by jumping from a building.
Although she was saved, she has faced numerous health issues since then.
She has gone through a marital crisis, estrangement from her children, the death of her grandfather, and various physical ailments, all of which have severely impacted her mental health.
Initially, she exhibited symptoms more aligned with depression, such as withdrawal, a vacant gaze, and poor appetite, resembling a living corpse.
She has been hospitalized multiple times, but after each discharge, she has stopped her medication on her own, believing she is not ill and that everyone is out to harm her, which has led to her strong aversion to hospitals.
Consequently, her condition has fluctuated, and recently it has escalated to bipolar disorder, with significant mood swings.
During episodes, she lashes out at everyone, feeling pitiful and abandoned, claiming that everyone has wronged her.
Due to her beliefs, she sometimes refers to herself as a Buddha, stating that she has been dead for many years and is a child of the Buddha, tasked with saving others, which is difficult to comprehend.
She also compulsively organizes things.
Recently, she has had another episode, displaying extreme emotional agitation and significant mood swings.
I can only go along with her for now, but I feel exhausted.
Due to family circumstances, I have to handle this on my own.
I know she needs medical treatment, but she is very agitated and extremely resistant.
I don’t know what to do or where to seek help.
Can I reach out to a health center or a rehabilitation facility? I apologize for the lengthy message, and I appreciate your time in responding.
Thank you!
Ai Ma, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2014/05/17
Dr. Qiu Junda reply Psychiatry
Hello: Thank you for your hard work.
Caring for your mother is indeed not easy, but please do not be overly pessimistic.
In your letter, it seems that your mother has been suffering from a long-term illness and has not been receiving regular treatment, which has led to her current unstable mental state.
Therefore, reaching out for help is the right thing to do.
I suggest that, in the case of your mother resisting medical treatment, you can first seek assistance from the local health center (which should have public health nurses responsible for mental health care) to help facilitate her medical treatment (including hospitalization) so that she can receive appropriate care and stabilize her condition as soon as possible.
Thank you!
Reply Date: 2014/05/17
More Info
Navigating mental health challenges, especially when it involves a loved one, can be an incredibly difficult and emotionally taxing experience. In your case, it sounds like your mother has been struggling with severe mental health issues for a long time, including depression and now possibly bipolar disorder, given the mood swings you described. It's understandable that you feel overwhelmed and unsure about how to help her, especially considering her history of resistance to treatment.
First and foremost, it’s important to recognize that your mother’s mental health condition is not her fault. Mental illnesses can be complex and are often influenced by a combination of genetic, biological, environmental, and psychological factors. Your mother’s experiences, including the loss of her father, marital issues, and her own health problems, may have contributed to her deteriorating mental state.
Given her history of depression and the recent escalation to what seems like bipolar symptoms, it is crucial to approach this situation with care. Here are some steps you can consider:
1. Encourage Professional Help: It is clear that your mother needs professional help, but as you mentioned, she is resistant to seeking treatment. One approach could be to gently encourage her to see a mental health professional by framing it as a way to help her feel better rather than as a treatment for a "disease." You might say something like, "I know things have been really tough lately, and I think talking to someone who can help might make a difference."
2. Involve Trusted Individuals: If there are other family members or friends whom she trusts, consider involving them in the conversation. Sometimes, hearing encouragement from multiple sources can help reduce her resistance.
3. Explore Community Resources: You mentioned the possibility of seeking help from a health center or a rehabilitation facility. This could be a viable option, especially if she is in a state where she might need more structured support. Many communities have mental health services that can provide immediate assistance, including crisis intervention.
4. Crisis Management: If your mother becomes a danger to herself or others, it may be necessary to seek emergency help. This could involve calling emergency services or taking her to a hospital. While this is a difficult step, it may be necessary to ensure her safety.
5. Self-Care for You: Supporting someone with mental health challenges can take a toll on your own mental health. It’s important to prioritize your own well-being. Consider seeking support for yourself, whether through therapy, support groups, or simply talking to friends who understand what you’re going through.
6. Educate Yourself: Understanding more about mental health conditions can help you communicate better with your mother and navigate her needs. There are many resources available, including books, online courses, and support groups for families of individuals with mental health issues.
7. Patience and Compassion: It’s essential to approach your mother with patience and compassion. Mental illness can distort a person’s perception of reality, and she may not be able to see the situation as you do. Validate her feelings, even if they seem irrational to you, and try to maintain a calm and supportive demeanor.
8. Consider Medication: If she is open to it, medication can be an effective treatment for mood disorders. However, this is something that needs to be discussed with a psychiatrist who can evaluate her condition and prescribe the appropriate treatment.
In conclusion, while it may feel daunting, there are steps you can take to help your mother. The journey may be long and filled with challenges, but with the right support and resources, there is hope for improvement. Remember, you are not alone in this, and seeking help for both your mother and yourself is a crucial part of the process.
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