Pain During Intimacy: Causes and Solutions for Women - Obstetrics and Gynecology

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Vaginal opening injury


I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for three years, but every time we are intimate, I experience pain in my private area, specifically at the junction between the vaginal opening and the anus.
I feel like it might be due to incorrect positioning, size mismatch, or dryness.
However, even when using lubricant, trying different positions, and taking it slow, I still experience a tearing sensation as if there is skin tearing.
I also maintain proper hygiene.
Sometimes after intimacy, my boyfriend notices and asks if I am injured.
I have asked friends around me, and they do not experience this issue.
Could there be something wrong with me?

Memei, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2015/01/24

Dr. Lin Wenbin reply Obstetrics and Gynecology


If you are experiencing pain, it is essential to have an examination by a gynecologist, as written descriptions can make it difficult to understand your condition.

Reply Date: 2015/01/24

More Info


Understanding pain during intimacy can be a complex issue for many women, and it’s essential to approach it with sensitivity and a thorough understanding of the potential causes. Based on your description, it seems that you are experiencing pain localized around the vaginal opening, particularly in the area between the vagina and the anus. This discomfort can stem from various factors, including anatomical, physiological, psychological, and situational elements.


Potential Causes of Pain During Intimacy
1. Anatomical Factors: Some women may have anatomical variations that make certain positions uncomfortable or painful. This could include a narrower vaginal canal or other structural differences that may not be apparent without a medical examination.

2. Vaginal Dryness: Even with the use of lubricants, some women may still experience discomfort due to insufficient natural lubrication. This can be influenced by hormonal changes, stress, or certain medications. If you find that lubricants are not effective, it may be worth exploring different types or formulations, as some are specifically designed to mimic natural moisture more closely.

3. Tension and Anxiety: Psychological factors such as anxiety, stress, or past traumatic experiences can lead to involuntary muscle tension in the pelvic area, making penetration painful. This tension can create a cycle of discomfort that can be challenging to break.

4. Infections or Medical Conditions: Conditions such as vulvodynia, vaginismus, or infections (like yeast infections or bacterial vaginosis) can cause pain during intercourse. If you notice any unusual symptoms, such as itching, burning, or abnormal discharge, it’s crucial to consult a healthcare provider for a thorough evaluation.

5. Positioning and Technique: Sometimes, specific sexual positions may not be suitable for every individual. If certain positions consistently lead to discomfort, it may be beneficial to experiment with different angles or depths of penetration. Communication with your partner about what feels comfortable or uncomfortable is vital.

6. Skin Sensitivity: If you experience tearing or a sensation of rawness, it could be due to friction or sensitivity in the area. Ensuring that both partners are adequately aroused before penetration can help reduce friction. Additionally, consider using a thicker lubricant or a silicone-based lubricant, which may provide longer-lasting moisture.


Solutions and Recommendations
1. Consult a Healthcare Provider: Given that you have been experiencing this pain consistently, it is advisable to consult a gynecologist or a healthcare provider specializing in sexual health. They can perform a physical examination to rule out any underlying medical conditions and provide tailored advice.

2. Pelvic Floor Therapy: If tension or anxiety is contributing to your pain, pelvic floor physical therapy may be beneficial. A trained therapist can help you learn relaxation techniques and exercises to reduce tension in the pelvic area.

3. Open Communication: Discuss your concerns with your partner. Open dialogue about what feels good and what doesn’t can help both of you find a comfortable rhythm and reduce anxiety during intimacy.

4. Experiment with Lubricants: If you haven’t already, try different types of lubricants. Water-based, silicone-based, or oil-based lubricants can all have different effects, and finding the right one for you may take some experimentation.

5. Gradual Approach: If penetration is painful, consider taking a step back and focusing on other forms of intimacy that do not cause discomfort. Gradually reintroducing penetration when you feel more comfortable can help ease anxiety.

6. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practicing mindfulness, deep breathing, or other relaxation techniques before intimacy can help reduce anxiety and muscle tension, potentially alleviating pain.

In conclusion, experiencing pain during intimacy is not uncommon, and it’s important to address it with a comprehensive approach. By consulting with healthcare professionals, communicating openly with your partner, and exploring various solutions, you can work towards a more comfortable and enjoyable intimate experience.

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