Reconnecting with Emotions: Overcoming Emotional Numbness in Mental Health

Regaining sensation?

I had the opportunity to experience psychodrama, and it was quite shocking.
A year later, a different psychodrama director said to me, "It seems like you don't have any feelings." When asked about my feelings regarding certain events, my responses were merely descriptions of the events themselves.
It felt like I hadn't been able to express my feelings for a long time.
For instance, I might feel sad inside but not show it, maintaining a smile while actually feeling resentment.
I might feel displeased or unfairly treated, but only I know that I am envious, which I cannot express.
This leads to a contradictory interaction with others, accumulating pain.

When I try to share my feelings with family, their responses are often dismissive, telling me to just forget about it or not to worry.
But I find it impossible to disregard my feelings! As a result, I have become unable to express my emotions and have closed myself off, to the point where I feel like I don't even know what my true feelings are anymore.
This might lead to confusion.
Both directors asked if this might be affecting my physical health, almost questioning whether I am seeing a doctor.
So, I would like to ask a doctor: Is not feeling anything a sign of illness? How can I regain my feelings? I wonder if it is like being an innocent child, where feelings are simply what they are.
Perhaps this is how I could better interact with others and understand their feelings, unlike now, where my own feelings are unclear, and I struggle to comprehend others' emotions as well.
It feels like I have trapped others' feelings within my own emotions, leading to a sense of powerlessness.
Is it possible to regain my feelings?

linghun, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2015/09/10

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry

Hello, in your question, you mentioned a lack of feeling, which seems to suggest that you have emotions about things but do not express them outwardly.
Firstly, without delving into why this is the case, this phenomenon might be a matter of excess or deficiency.
Conversely, having rich and intense feelings that are expressed directly may not necessarily be better.
I think it depends on whether you find this troubling and whether those around you find it difficult to accept your demeanor.

From my understanding, psychodrama aims to express our internal conflicts and emotions through dramatic means, allowing for some initial processing.
Some individuals may find it challenging to present their internal conflicts through conversation, and the dramatic form may be helpful.
There are likely theories that can explain why you may not have found assistance during the psychodrama process.
However, this is not unusual; not every therapeutic approach suits everyone.
I believe many people in Taiwan are not accustomed to this method, and I am one of them.
My own experience with psychodrama was somewhat traumatic, and I have not dared to engage with it since.
Different schools of psychotherapy handle emotional issues in various ways.
The mindfulness-based cognitive therapy that I frequently use encourages individuals to view emotional sensations as transient phenomena.
They are not an ingrained part of our inner selves; as they arise, we should acknowledge them, observe them, and refrain from engaging in a struggle with them, and soon they will dissipate.
If you experience negative emotions like hatred or jealousy, there is no need to feel disgusted; this can help prevent you from falling into a vortex of worsening emotions.
This approach can help us face various troubles with relatively calm emotions.
However, why we experience certain emotional states in response to specific situations is a topic that requires further exploration.
The information available through online inquiries is very limited, often more so than the proverbial blind men touching an elephant.
Therefore, I am unsure if you have other issues, but based on what you mentioned today, I do not see any significant problems, let alone any illness!
Wishing you all the best,
Dr.
Ding Shuo-Yan

Reply Date: 2015/09/10

More Info

Reconnecting with emotions, especially after experiencing emotional numbness, is a significant aspect of mental health recovery. Emotional numbness can manifest as a defense mechanism, often developed in response to trauma, stress, or overwhelming feelings. It can lead to a disconnection from one's feelings, making it challenging to express emotions or even recognize them. This phenomenon is not uncommon among individuals who have faced emotional distress or trauma, and it can create a cycle of isolation and misunderstanding in interpersonal relationships.

Understanding Emotional Numbness
Emotional numbness can be understood through the lens of psychological defense mechanisms. When individuals face distressing emotions or traumatic experiences, the mind may unconsciously suppress these feelings to protect itself from pain. This suppression can lead to a state where individuals feel detached from their emotions, leading to a lack of emotional expression. As you mentioned, you might find yourself describing events without connecting to the feelings associated with them. This disconnection can create a facade of normalcy, where you appear fine on the outside but are struggling internally.

The Impact on Relationships
The inability to express emotions can significantly affect relationships. When you are unable to articulate your feelings, it can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts with others. For instance, if you feel jealousy or sadness but cannot express these emotions, it may result in frustration or resentment towards those around you. This can create a barrier to authentic connections, as both you and others may feel confused about the underlying emotions at play.

The Role of Communication
Communication is vital in overcoming emotional numbness. It is essential to find safe spaces where you can express your feelings without judgment. Unfortunately, as you noted, responses like "just forget about it" can invalidate your feelings and reinforce the numbness. Instead, seeking out supportive individuals who encourage open dialogue about emotions can be beneficial. This could be friends, family, or mental health professionals who understand the complexities of emotional expression.

Therapeutic Approaches
Engaging in therapy can be a powerful way to reconnect with your emotions. Various therapeutic modalities can help facilitate this process:
1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This approach can help you identify and challenge negative thought patterns that contribute to emotional numbness. By reframing your thoughts, you can begin to reconnect with your feelings.

2. Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT): This therapy specifically targets emotional awareness and expression. It encourages individuals to explore their emotions in a safe environment, helping them to understand and articulate their feelings.

3. Mindfulness and Somatic Therapies: These practices focus on body awareness and can help you reconnect with your emotions by tuning into physical sensations associated with feelings. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can promote emotional awareness.

4. Expressive Arts Therapy: Engaging in creative activities like art, music, or drama can provide alternative avenues for emotional expression. These activities can help you explore and communicate feelings that may be difficult to articulate verbally.

Finding Your Feelings Again
To begin the journey of reconnecting with your emotions, consider the following steps:
- Journaling: Write down your thoughts and feelings daily. This practice can help you identify patterns and emotions that you may not be consciously aware of.

- Mindfulness Practices: Engage in mindfulness exercises that encourage you to focus on the present moment. This can help you become more attuned to your feelings as they arise.

- Seek Professional Help: If you find it challenging to navigate these feelings alone, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. They can provide guidance and support tailored to your needs.

- Connect with Others: Share your experiences with trusted friends or support groups. Hearing others' stories can help you feel less isolated and more understood.

Conclusion
Emotional numbness is a complex issue that can significantly impact your mental health and relationships. However, with the right support and strategies, it is possible to reconnect with your emotions. Remember, it is a journey that takes time and patience, but the rewards of emotional awareness and connection are invaluable. Embrace the process, and allow yourself the grace to feel and express your emotions authentically.

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