Changes in Sexual Desire: A Guide for Couples - Urology

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Hello Brian, it sounds like you’re facing a challenging situation in your relationship.
It's important to communicate openly with your wife about her feelings and any changes she may be experiencing.
Factors such as stress, hormonal changes, or emotional issues can affect libido.
Consider seeking couples therapy or speaking with a healthcare professional who specializes in sexual health for guidance.
They can provide support and strategies to help both of you navigate this change.

brian, 40~49 year old female. Ask Date: 2002/07/08

Dr. Chen Zhirong reply Urology


Hi Brain,
Your wife has been experiencing a fear of sexual relationships recently, which may be due to menopausal syndrome.
I suggest you take her to the hospital and consult the Gynecology department.
The sooner, the better.

Sincerely,
Director Chen Chih-Jung, Sexual Wellness Center

Reply Date: 2002/07/08

More Info


Hi Brian,
It's great to hear from you, and I appreciate you reaching out with your concerns. Changes in sexual desire can be a complex issue, especially after being together for over 20 years. It's important to approach this matter with sensitivity and understanding, as various factors can contribute to a decrease in sexual interest.

Firstly, it's essential to recognize that sexual desire can fluctuate due to numerous reasons, including physical, emotional, and relational factors. One common cause, particularly in women, is hormonal changes associated with menopause. As women age, they may experience a decline in estrogen levels, which can lead to decreased libido, vaginal dryness, and discomfort during intercourse. If your wife is in this stage of life, it might be beneficial for her to consult a gynecologist who can provide guidance and potential treatment options.

Additionally, emotional factors can play a significant role in sexual desire. Stress, anxiety, depression, and relationship dynamics can all affect libido. If your wife is experiencing stress from work, family responsibilities, or other life changes, it could impact her interest in sex. Open communication is crucial here. Have a candid conversation with her about how she feels and what might be contributing to her decreased interest. This dialogue can help both of you understand each other better and explore ways to reconnect.

Another aspect to consider is the quality of your emotional connection. Over time, couples can fall into routines that may diminish intimacy. Engaging in activities that foster emotional closeness, such as date nights, shared hobbies, or simply spending quality time together, can reignite the spark in your relationship. Sometimes, focusing on emotional intimacy can lead to a renewed interest in physical intimacy.

If your wife is open to it, exploring different forms of intimacy can also be beneficial. This could include non-sexual physical affection, such as cuddling, kissing, or massages, which can help build intimacy without the pressure of sexual performance. Understanding that intimacy can take many forms may alleviate some of the stress associated with sexual encounters.

If the situation does not improve, consider seeking professional help. A therapist or counselor specializing in sexual health can provide valuable insights and strategies for both of you. They can help navigate the emotional aspects of your relationship and offer tools to enhance intimacy.

Lastly, it's important to remember that sexual desire is a personal experience, and what works for one couple may not work for another. Patience and understanding are key. Encourage your wife to express her feelings and needs, and be open to exploring new ways to connect.

In summary, addressing changes in sexual desire involves understanding the underlying factors, fostering emotional intimacy, and maintaining open communication. By approaching the situation with empathy and a willingness to adapt, you can work together to enhance your relationship and rekindle the intimacy you once shared.
Best wishes to you both on this journey.

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