How to Comfort Your Girlfriend and Address Pregnancy Concerns

How to comfort a girlfriend and whether she can get pregnant?

Hello Dr.
Chang: On November 3rd, I engaged in intimate touching with my girlfriend.
After I ejaculated with my left hand and washed my hands, I used my right hand to touch her genital area.
Although I only washed my left hand, there was still slight contact between both hands during the washing process.
After the encounter, I was very worried, and she was even more anxious.
That night, I went to the pharmacy to buy emergency contraception (after consulting with the pharmacist) and some supplements; she took the pill around noon on November 4th.
Initially, she thought she wouldn't get pregnant, but later decided to take it.
By the end of November, she had her period twice, with a three-day gap between them.
The pharmacist assured me that pregnancy was highly unlikely, but my girlfriend is still very anxious, which is causing me distress as well.
I have three questions I would like to ask you: (1) Why might her period be delayed? (2) How can I comfort her? (I truly love her, and it pains me to see her sad.
I feel helpless as I can't do much to reassure her right now...) (3) Is it really unlikely that she is pregnant? (Her parents are unaware of our intimate contact, so she cannot go to the hospital for an ultrasound.) Thank you, bhkjdw.

bhkjdw, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2015/12/23

Dr. Zhang Kunmin reply Obstetrics and Gynecology

Hello, based on your description, there are many reasons for bleeding outside of your menstrual period (such as lesions in the reproductive organs, pregnancy, hormonal imbalances, etc.).
The best way to avoid pregnancy is to choose a reliable and consistent contraceptive method; otherwise, it is advisable to refrain from sexual activity to prevent unnecessary distress and worry.
Emergency contraception taken within 72 hours after intercourse is about 97% effective, but it is not 100%, with a failure rate of approximately 3%.
However, it is still considered a viable option for prevention.
Early pregnancy may not necessarily present specific symptoms, and subjective symptoms cannot be used to make a diagnosis.
It is recommended that if your period is more than a week late, you should check for pregnancy and investigate the reasons for irregular menstruation.
Thank you! Wishing you peace and health.
Dr.
Chang

Reply Date: 2015/12/23

More Info

It's understandable that you're feeling anxious about your girlfriend's situation, especially given the intimate nature of your encounter and the subsequent concerns about pregnancy. Let's address your questions one by one, while also providing some context and advice on how to support her emotionally during this time.

1. Why might her period be delayed?
There are several reasons why a woman's menstrual cycle can be delayed. Stress is a significant factor; emotional distress or anxiety about potential pregnancy can disrupt the hormonal balance that regulates the menstrual cycle. Other factors include changes in weight, exercise levels, and even illness. Since your girlfriend is feeling anxious about the possibility of being pregnant, this stress could be contributing to her delayed period. Additionally, if she took emergency contraception, it can also cause changes in her menstrual cycle, including earlier or later periods than expected.

2. How to comfort her?
Comforting someone who is anxious requires patience and understanding. Here are some strategies you can use to help her feel more secure:
- Listen Actively: Allow her to express her fears and concerns without judgment. Sometimes, just having someone listen can be incredibly comforting.

- Reassure Her: Remind her that the likelihood of pregnancy is low, especially since she took emergency contraception soon after the encounter. Explain that the pharmacist confirmed this, and that it’s common for periods to be irregular after taking such medication.

- Encourage Open Communication: Let her know that it’s okay to talk about her feelings and that you’re there for her. This can help her feel less isolated in her anxiety.

- Engage in Relaxing Activities Together: Suggest doing something enjoyable together, like watching a movie, going for a walk, or engaging in a hobby. This can help distract her from her worries.

- Be Patient: Understand that it may take time for her to feel better. Avoid pushing her to feel a certain way or to dismiss her concerns.

3. Is it true that she won't get pregnant?
While no contraceptive method is 100% effective, the fact that she took emergency contraception shortly after the encounter significantly reduces the risk of pregnancy. Emergency contraceptive pills work best when taken as soon as possible after unprotected intercourse, and they can be effective up to 72-120 hours afterward, depending on the type. Since she took the pill on November 4th, and if it was within the recommended time frame, the chances of pregnancy are very low. However, if she continues to experience anxiety, it might be beneficial for her to take a home pregnancy test if her period does not arrive within a week or so of when it is expected.

In conclusion, your girlfriend's anxiety is understandable, and your support can make a significant difference. Encourage her to take care of herself, both physically and emotionally, and remind her that you are there for her. If her anxiety persists or worsens, consider suggesting that she speak with a healthcare professional, even if it means finding a way to do so discreetly. It's important to prioritize her mental health during this time.

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