Sexual dysfunction
Hello, doctor.
My boyfriend is 44 years old, and recently during intercourse, his penis has not been sufficiently erect.
Even when I perform oral sex, it still doesn't become very hard, and he ejaculates quickly.
We have intercourse about once a week, but I hardly feel anything when he penetrates.
Should he see a doctor? If so, how can I gently suggest it without affecting his feelings or causing him any emotional distress? Thank you, doctor.
Hua, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/02/02
Dr. Xu Weikai reply Urology
Hello, in this situation, it is advisable to seek medical attention for further testing regarding sexual function.
Additionally, consider whether your boyfriend does not exercise regularly, which could lead to insufficient cardiopulmonary function, consequently causing erectile issues.
It is recommended to engage in regular physical activity: at least 3-5 days a week, with each session lasting at least 40-60 minutes at an adequate intensity.
Generally, after starting an exercise regimen, unless there are other underlying conditions causing erectile dysfunction, noticeable improvements can be observed in about 1-2 weeks.
If you have any further questions, feel free to ask for more discussion and research.
Online responses should only be used as a reference; it is essential to seek care at a medical facility if necessary.
This response is provided by Dr.
Hsu Wei-Kai, Director of the Urology Department at Taitung Hospital, Ministry of Health and Welfare.
Reply Date: 2016/02/02
More Info
Addressing erectile dysfunction (ED) can be a sensitive topic, especially when it involves a partner's concerns. It’s important to approach this matter with care, empathy, and understanding. In your case, your boyfriend's experiences of insufficient erection and premature ejaculation can be distressing for both of you. Here’s how to navigate this situation effectively.
Understanding Erectile Dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction is a common issue, particularly among men over the age of 40. It can stem from various causes, including psychological factors (such as anxiety or depression), physical conditions (like diabetes, hypertension, or cardiovascular diseases), lifestyle choices (such as smoking or excessive alcohol consumption), and hormonal imbalances. It’s crucial to recognize that ED is not just a personal issue but can affect the relationship dynamics as well.
Encouraging Open Communication
The first step in addressing your boyfriend's concerns is to foster an open line of communication. Here are some tips on how to approach the conversation:
1. Choose the Right Time and Place: Find a comfortable and private setting where both of you can talk without distractions. Avoid bringing it up during intimate moments, as this could lead to feelings of embarrassment or inadequacy.
2. Express Your Feelings: Start by expressing your feelings and concerns in a non-judgmental way. You might say something like, "I've noticed that things have been a bit different for us lately, and I want to make sure you're okay."
3. Be Supportive: Emphasize that you are there to support him and that you care about his well-being. Let him know that you understand that this is a common issue and that many men experience it at some point in their lives.
4. Encourage Professional Help: Gently suggest that he consider speaking with a healthcare professional. You could frame it positively by saying, "It might be helpful to talk to a doctor who can provide some insights and options. It’s completely normal, and they can help."
5. Normalize the Experience: Remind him that many couples face similar challenges and that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. This can help reduce any stigma he may feel about discussing his ED.
Seeking Medical Advice
If your boyfriend is open to the idea, encourage him to see a healthcare provider. A doctor can perform a thorough evaluation to determine the underlying causes of his erectile dysfunction and suggest appropriate treatments. These may include lifestyle changes, counseling, or medications such as phosphodiesterase type 5 inhibitors (e.g., Viagra, Cialis).
Additional Considerations
- Lifestyle Modifications: Encourage healthy lifestyle choices, such as regular exercise, a balanced diet, quitting smoking, and reducing alcohol intake. These changes can significantly improve erectile function and overall health.
- Counseling: If psychological factors are contributing to his ED, couples counseling or sex therapy may be beneficial. This can help both of you address any emotional or relational issues that may be affecting your intimacy.
- Patience and Understanding: It’s essential to be patient and understanding throughout this process. ED can be a complex issue, and it may take time to find the right solutions.
Conclusion
Addressing erectile dysfunction requires sensitivity and compassion. By fostering open communication and encouraging your boyfriend to seek professional help, you can support him in navigating this challenge. Remember, you are in this together, and with the right approach, you can strengthen your relationship while addressing his concerns.
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