Am I Experiencing OCD Symptoms or Something Else? A Mental Health Inquiry - Psychiatry

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It sounds like you're going through a challenging time, and it's important to address your concerns regarding your mental health. Based on your description, it seems that you are experiencing symptoms that could be related to your history of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), especially considering your previous diagnosis at 17 and the recurrence of symptoms during stressful periods.
OCD is characterized by intrusive thoughts (obsessions) that lead to repetitive behaviors or mental acts (compulsions) aimed at reducing the anxiety associated with those thoughts. In your case, the distressing thoughts you experience when exposed to negative news or violent content could be classified as obsessions, particularly if they provoke significant anxiety and lead you to engage in self-reproach or guilt. This is a common experience for individuals with OCD, where the individual recognizes that their thoughts are irrational but feels compelled to respond to them emotionally.

The feelings of excitement you describe when encountering distressing news or violent scenarios could also be indicative of a heightened sensitivity to such stimuli, which can occur in individuals with anxiety disorders, including OCD. It's crucial to differentiate between the thoughts themselves and your reaction to them. The fact that you are aware these thoughts do not reflect your true intentions or desires is a positive sign, as it suggests you are maintaining insight into your condition, which is often a challenge for those with more severe forms of OCD or other mental health disorders.

Regarding your concerns about potentially having a negative personality trait or another mental health condition, it's essential to understand that experiencing intrusive thoughts does not inherently mean you possess a negative personality or a separate disorder. Many individuals with OCD experience similar thoughts, and these do not define their character or intentions. However, if these thoughts are causing you significant distress, it may be beneficial to explore them further with a mental health professional.

Since you have recently stopped taking Sertraline, it's also important to consider the impact of medication withdrawal on your mental state. Discontinuing medication can sometimes lead to a resurgence of symptoms or the emergence of new ones, particularly if the medication was effectively managing your OCD symptoms. It may be worthwhile to discuss your experiences with your healthcare provider, as they can help you evaluate whether resuming medication or exploring alternative treatments is appropriate for you, especially considering your desire to conceive.

In addition to medication, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), particularly exposure and response prevention (ERP), is a highly effective treatment for OCD. This therapeutic approach involves gradually exposing yourself to the sources of your anxiety while refraining from engaging in compulsive behaviors or mental rituals. This process can help reduce the power of intrusive thoughts over time.

Lastly, it's crucial to practice self-compassion during this time. Recognizing that you are not alone in experiencing distressing thoughts can be comforting. Many individuals with OCD face similar challenges, and seeking support from a therapist or a support group can provide you with additional coping strategies and understanding.

In summary, your experiences may align with OCD symptoms, particularly given your history and the nature of your intrusive thoughts. It is advisable to consult with a mental health professional who can provide a comprehensive evaluation and support you in managing your symptoms effectively. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and you deserve to feel better.