Chronic nail biting and hair pulling?
Hello, I have had a habit of nail-biting since childhood, and in recent years, I have started pulling my hair as well.
Whenever I feel stressed or anxious, I engage in these behaviors without even realizing it.
Sometimes, I come to my senses only to find that my hands are bleeding and there is hair all over the floor.
I also often unconsciously pick at my hands while talking to others.
My parents get particularly angry every time they see these actions, hitting my hands and asking why I intentionally harm myself, saying that this is just typical of a rebellious phase.
I have tried to explain to them that I engage in these behaviors whenever I feel anxious, but instead, I get scolded for only being responsible for studying and being told that I shouldn't complain about stress...
I really don't know what to do.
How can I stop these behaviors? I feel exhausted from being scolded all the time and not being able to explain myself.
Xiao Yu, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/07/21
Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello, Xiao Yu: Nail biting and hair pulling are indeed related to anxiety, so it’s important to recognize what is causing the anxiety and to address the source of it.
Your parents likely feel concerned about your situation but may not know how to help you, which can make them seem a bit anxious themselves.
I suggest you also try to understand their worries and anxieties.
Writing down your concerns and thoughts can be an effective way to help identify the sources of your anxiety.
Wishing you all the best.
Reply Date: 2016/07/21
More Info
Overcoming habits like nail biting and hair pulling, especially when they are linked to anxiety, can be a challenging journey. It’s important to understand that these behaviors, often referred to as body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRBs), are not merely acts of defiance or rebellion; they are often coping mechanisms for dealing with stress, anxiety, or emotional discomfort.
From your description, it seems that you have been engaging in these behaviors since childhood, and they have intensified in response to stress. This is not uncommon; many individuals find themselves resorting to such actions when they feel overwhelmed. The cycle of anxiety leading to these behaviors, which in turn leads to feelings of shame or frustration, can create a vicious cycle that is hard to break.
Firstly, it’s crucial to recognize that you are not alone in this struggle. Many people experience similar issues, and there are effective strategies to help manage and reduce these behaviors. Here are some steps you can take:
1. Awareness and Mindfulness: The first step in overcoming nail biting and hair pulling is to become more aware of when and why you engage in these behaviors. Keeping a journal can help you track your triggers—situations or feelings that lead to anxiety and subsequent nail biting or hair pulling. Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation or deep-breathing exercises, can also help you become more aware of your body and your impulses.
2. Substitution: Finding alternative behaviors to replace nail biting and hair pulling can be beneficial. For instance, when you feel the urge to bite your nails, you might try squeezing a stress ball or fidgeting with a small object. This can help redirect your energy and focus away from the harmful behaviors.
3. Stress Management: Since your behaviors are linked to anxiety, developing healthy coping mechanisms for stress is essential. This could include physical activities like exercise, engaging in hobbies, or practicing relaxation techniques. Regular physical activity can significantly reduce anxiety levels and improve your overall mood.
4. Seek Professional Help: If you find that these behaviors are significantly impacting your life, it may be beneficial to seek help from a mental health professional. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) has been shown to be effective in treating BFRBs. A therapist can help you understand the underlying causes of your anxiety and develop strategies to cope with it more effectively.
5. Communicate with Your Family: It can be challenging when family members do not understand what you are going through. Consider having an open conversation with your parents about your struggles. You might explain that these behaviors are not intentional acts of self-harm but rather responses to anxiety. Providing them with information about BFRBs could help them understand your situation better.
6. Support Groups: Joining a support group for individuals who experience similar issues can provide you with a sense of community and understanding. Sharing your experiences and hearing from others can be incredibly validating and can offer new strategies for coping.
7. Patience and Self-Compassion: Change takes time, and it’s important to be patient with yourself. Celebrate small victories along the way, and practice self-compassion. Understand that setbacks may occur, but they do not define your progress.
In conclusion, overcoming nail biting and hair pulling is a process that requires self-awareness, healthy coping strategies, and possibly professional support. By addressing the underlying anxiety and developing alternative behaviors, you can work towards reducing these habits and improving your overall well-being. Remember, it’s okay to seek help, and you are not alone in this journey.
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