Coping with Heartbreak: Somatic Symptoms and Healing Strategies

Q: Coping with Heartbreak: Somatic Symptoms and Healing Strategies

Hello： I believe your friend drinks alcohol to relieve his sorrows, but this is definitely not a good approach. <br>The first thing you can do is to help him reduce his alcohol consumption. <br>If you have the time and energy, spend more time with him and engage in some healthy a

How to cope with feelings of abandonment after a breakup and psychosomatic symptoms?

I have a 20-year-old friend who has been heartbroken for over 20 days.
Since the breakup, he has been drinking frequently, which has led to severe inflammation in his body, prompting him to see a doctor.
Prior to the inflammation, he also experienced frequent diarrhea.

1.
Are these symptoms indicative of a psychosomatic disorder? When I asked him about his life after the breakup and whether there are any "unfinished business" he could work on to improve his mood, he expressed a desire to communicate the feelings he hasn't fully expressed to his ex-girlfriend.
However, after a detailed discussion, it became clear that achieving this is difficult.
He exhibits a significant sense of abandonment, and the girl has also responded coldly to the relationship.
2.
I suggested that he write down those unexpressed feelings on paper or share them anonymously on an online platform as a way to find closure.
I'm unsure if this will be effective.
It seems that his feeling of abandonment is overwhelming, and aside from his ex-girlfriend, when I encouraged him to recall areas in his life where he could continue to strive, he could only mention one or two, but he lacks the motivation to pursue them.
His sleep patterns are unstable; he wakes up earlier than before the breakup and sometimes has irregular sleep due to drinking.
Physically, I advised him to eat bananas and chocolate, as I've heard they can help.
The doctor he consulted for his inflammation advised him to stop drinking alcohol.

In terms of friendships, he has fewer college friends, but he maintains a good emotional connection with his younger brother and a few high school classmates, who check in on him and go out together, which seems to help distract him from his heartbreak to some extent.
3.
Given all of the above, how can I best help him?

Youqing, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/07/30

Dr. Wang Zhenbang reply Psychiatry

Hello: I believe your friend drinks alcohol to relieve his sorrows, but this is definitely not a good approach.
The first thing you can do is to help him reduce his alcohol consumption.
If you have the time and energy, spend more time with him and engage in some healthy activities together (such as exercising, watching movies, attending concerts, etc.).
Emotional trauma takes time to heal.
If his condition worsens, consider seeking assistance from a professional psychiatrist or psychologist.
Thank you, and I wish you peace and health.

Reply Date: 2016/07/30

More Info

Coping with heartbreak can be a challenging and multifaceted process, especially for young individuals like your friend who is experiencing somatic symptoms as a result of emotional distress. The symptoms your friend is experiencing, such as frequent diarrhea and inflammation, can indeed be manifestations of somatic symptom disorder, where psychological distress translates into physical symptoms. This is not uncommon, as emotional pain can lead to physical reactions in the body, particularly when coping mechanisms, such as alcohol consumption, are employed.

Firstly, it’s essential to understand that heartbreak can trigger a range of emotional responses, including feelings of abandonment, sadness, and anxiety. These feelings can lead to unhealthy coping strategies, such as excessive drinking, which can exacerbate physical symptoms and lead to further emotional distress. Your friend's desire to express unspoken feelings to his ex-girlfriend indicates that he is still processing the relationship and may benefit from finding closure. Writing down his thoughts and feelings, as you suggested, can be a therapeutic exercise. This practice allows him to articulate his emotions, which can help in processing the grief associated with the breakup.

Encouraging your friend to seek professional help, such as therapy or counseling, could be beneficial. A mental health professional can provide him with coping strategies tailored to his situation and help him work through feelings of abandonment and loss. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective in addressing negative thought patterns and developing healthier coping mechanisms.

In terms of lifestyle changes, it’s crucial for your friend to establish a routine that promotes physical and emotional well-being. This includes maintaining a balanced diet, regular exercise, and adequate sleep. While you mentioned suggesting bananas and chocolate, which can help boost mood due to their serotonin-boosting properties, a more comprehensive approach to nutrition would be beneficial. Encouraging him to eat a variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins can support overall health and improve mood stability.

Moreover, engaging in physical activities can serve as a powerful outlet for emotional stress. Exercise releases endorphins, which can enhance mood and reduce feelings of anxiety and depression. Encouraging your friend to participate in group activities or sports can also help him reconnect with social circles and foster a sense of belonging, which is crucial during times of emotional distress.

Social support plays a vital role in healing from heartbreak. It’s great that your friend maintains connections with his brother and a few high school friends. Encouraging him to spend more time with these supportive individuals can provide a buffer against feelings of loneliness and abandonment. Additionally, exploring new social avenues, such as clubs or interest groups, can help him build new friendships and create a support network.

Lastly, it’s important to address the issue of alcohol consumption. As the doctor advised him to stop drinking, reinforcing this message is crucial. Alcohol can worsen inflammation and lead to further health complications, both physically and emotionally. Finding alternative ways to cope with stress, such as mindfulness practices, meditation, or engaging in hobbies, can provide healthier outlets for his emotions.

In summary, helping your friend navigate through this difficult time involves a combination of emotional support, encouraging professional help, promoting healthy lifestyle changes, and fostering social connections. By addressing both the emotional and physical aspects of his distress, he can begin to heal and move forward from this heartbreak.

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