Sexual Identity: Dreams and Feelings Explored - Psychiatry

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Homosexuality issues


I am a girl with some masculine traits, and I have a special feeling towards girls, but I prefer boys.
I like handsome guys and often look for them while walking down the street.
However, I previously had a dream where I had male genitalia and was engaging in sexual relations with a woman, and I felt very comfortable during the experience.
After waking up, I didn't think much of it, but yesterday I dreamt again that I had male genitalia and was masturbating...
What is happening to me...?

chengshi, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/08/20

Dr. Zhong Mingxun reply Psychiatry


The content of dreams is often distorted and may not necessarily align with reality, so it is not necessary to place too much importance on the content of dreams.
Therefore, one should not conclude that they are homosexual based solely on their dreams.
However, the feelings experienced in dreams are quite significant.
For instance, dreaming about having male genitalia and engaging in masturbation, or dreaming about having male genitalia while being intimate with a female and feeling pleasure during the process, may conceal a certain desire within you, suggesting that you wish to possess something.
It might be worthwhile to reflect on what it is that you truly desire.

Reply Date: 2016/08/20

More Info


Understanding sexual identity can be a complex journey, especially when intertwined with the nuances of dreams and subconscious feelings. Your experience of dreaming about having male genitalia and engaging in sexual activities with women, while simultaneously identifying as a woman with a preference for men, raises important questions about sexual orientation and identity.

Firstly, it’s essential to recognize that dreams often serve as a reflection of our subconscious thoughts, desires, and conflicts. They can be influenced by a variety of factors, including personal experiences, societal norms, and internalized feelings. In your case, dreaming about having male genitalia and feeling pleasure during these dreams may suggest an exploration of your own identity and desires. It does not necessarily indicate a shift in your sexual orientation but rather an opportunity to understand the multifaceted nature of your sexuality.

Sexual orientation is typically understood as a pattern of emotional, romantic, or sexual attraction to individuals of the same or different gender. It is not uncommon for individuals to experience fluidity in their attractions and fantasies, which can sometimes manifest in dreams. The feelings of comfort and pleasure in your dreams could signify a deeper exploration of your identity, perhaps reflecting a desire for empowerment or a different perspective on your sexuality.

Moreover, the concept of gender identity plays a crucial role in this exploration. Gender identity refers to an individual’s personal sense of their gender, which may or may not align with the sex assigned at birth. Your description of having "some masculine traits" suggests that you may identify with aspects of masculinity, which could influence your dreams and fantasies. It’s important to understand that gender expression and sexual orientation are not strictly binary; they exist on a spectrum, and many people find themselves identifying with traits from both ends.

The discomfort you feel upon waking from these dreams may stem from societal expectations and norms regarding gender and sexuality. Many cultures impose rigid definitions of what it means to be male or female, which can create internal conflict when one's experiences do not fit neatly into these categories. It’s crucial to give yourself permission to explore these feelings without judgment. Engaging with your dreams and fantasies can be a healthy part of understanding your sexual identity.

If these dreams and feelings are causing you distress or confusion, it may be beneficial to seek support from a mental health professional, particularly one who specializes in sexual identity and gender issues. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore your feelings, understand your dreams, and navigate any confusion regarding your sexual orientation. A therapist can help you unpack these experiences and provide guidance on how to integrate them into your understanding of yourself.

In conclusion, your dreams about having male genitalia and engaging in sexual acts with women may reflect a complex interplay of your identity, desires, and societal influences. It’s essential to approach these experiences with curiosity rather than fear. Understanding your sexual identity is a personal journey, and it’s okay to take the time to explore it fully. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to feel, and your experiences are valid. Embrace the exploration, and consider seeking professional support if you feel overwhelmed.

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