My child is homosexual?
Dear Dr.
Liang,
My child is currently a freshman in college, and recently he suddenly told me that he has homosexual tendencies, and then he apologized to me.
I would like to ask if this inclination is something that has developed recently, and since he currently does not have a same-sex partner, are there any methods we can use to help him? For example, through medical means (such as male hormone testing), psychiatric correction, or psychological counseling, to try to change him? Or do you have better suggestions? A helpless parent.
Dān xīn de jiā zhǎng, 40~49 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/10/17
Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello: I believe that the child is willing to share with you because they are looking for your understanding and support.
It is advisable not to worry excessively, but rather to try to accept and understand.
A certain proportion of people have such tendencies, and it is not anyone's fault; many of them are also very accomplished and lead fulfilling lives.
As parents, the primary concern is the child's well-being and avoiding any hardships.
Society is continuously progressing, and the level of acceptance and support is steadily increasing.
If the child feels some difficulties in adapting or is uncertain and wishes to discuss with a physician, seeking medical assistance is an option.
However, if the child is confident and feels there is no need for medical intervention, it is recommended to give both yourself and the child more time to understand and accept each other.
Reply Date: 2016/10/17
More Info
Supporting a child who has come out as having a homosexual orientation can be a challenging experience for many parents. It is essential to approach this situation with understanding, compassion, and an open mind. Here are some key points to consider, along with suggestions for how to support your child effectively.
Understanding Sexual Orientation
Firstly, it is crucial to understand that sexual orientation is not a choice; it is an inherent aspect of who a person is. Research indicates that sexual orientation is likely determined by a complex interplay of genetic, hormonal, and environmental factors. Attempting to change a person's sexual orientation through medical or psychological means, such as hormone testing or "conversion therapy," is not only ineffective but can also be harmful. Major medical organizations, including the American Psychological Association and the World Health Organization, have condemned conversion therapy practices due to their potential to cause significant psychological distress.
Open Communication
Creating an environment where your child feels safe to express their feelings is vital. Encourage open dialogue by asking questions and listening without judgment. You might say something like, "I appreciate you sharing this with me. Can you tell me more about how you feel?" This approach helps your child feel validated and understood.
Educate Yourself
As a parent, educating yourself about LGBTQ+ issues can be beneficial. Understanding the challenges that LGBTQ+ individuals face, including societal stigma and discrimination, can help you empathize with your child's experiences. There are numerous resources available, including books, websites, and support groups, that can provide valuable information.
Seek Professional Support
While it is essential to support your child, it may also be helpful for you to seek guidance from a mental health professional who specializes in LGBTQ+ issues. A therapist can provide you with strategies to cope with your feelings and help you navigate this new dynamic in your relationship with your child. Additionally, they can assist your child in exploring their identity in a safe and supportive environment.
Encourage Self-Acceptance
Encourage your child to embrace their identity. Self-acceptance is a crucial aspect of mental health for LGBTQ+ individuals. You can help by affirming their feelings and expressing unconditional love and support. Let them know that their sexual orientation does not change your love for them.
Connect with Support Groups
Consider connecting with local or online support groups for parents of LGBTQ+ children. These groups can provide a sense of community and shared experiences, allowing you to learn from others who have faced similar challenges. Organizations like PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) offer resources and support for parents navigating their child's coming out.
Respect Their Journey
Finally, respect your child's journey and give them the space to explore their identity at their own pace. Coming out is a personal process, and your child may need time to understand their feelings fully. Be patient and let them know that you are there for them, no matter what.
Conclusion
In summary, supporting your child who has come out as having a homosexual orientation involves understanding, open communication, education, and professional support. It is essential to approach this situation with love and acceptance, recognizing that your child's sexual orientation is a natural part of who they are. By fostering a supportive environment, you can help your child navigate their journey with confidence and self-acceptance. Remember, your support can make a significant difference in their mental and emotional well-being.
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