When emotions are out of control, it can lead to self-harm?
During middle school, when conflicts arose with family or friends, I would self-harm in my room using a utility knife, especially when I was extremely angry.
I would cry while self-harming.
Later, in high school, I stopped using the utility knife for self-harm, but I began smoking and drinking alcohol to numb my emotions, often on an empty stomach until I would vomit.
There were times when I lost control during arguments with my partner and physically struck them, although not with much force.
Occasionally, when I didn't have cigarettes or alcohol on hand and my emotions spiraled out of control, I would scratch my arms with my nails until they were red and raw.
I would also scream at the top of my lungs and pound on walls until I bled.
During arguments with my partner, I even contemplated suicide to end this torment.
My family has been filled with conflict since childhood; my father has been physically abusive, hitting my brother and mother.
Although I was never hit by my father, my mother would also physically strike me when she lost control.
Now that I am in my first year of college, my parents no longer resort to physical violence, but the peace in our home rarely lasts more than three weeks, and we have family conflicts almost every month.
I would like to ask the doctor what my condition leans towards and whether it is influenced by family factors.
Niming, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/11/19
Dr. Liu Runqian reply Psychiatry
Based on what you mentioned, your impulse control is poor, and your emotions are often unstable.
Many psychiatric diagnoses may present with such symptoms, including depression, bipolar disorder, and certain personality disorders such as borderline personality disorder.
The causes may include congenital factors, genetics, environment, family background, and individual constitution.
However, since you have repeatedly engaged in self-harming and harming others, it is strongly recommended that you seek evaluation from a psychiatrist or a psychosomatic specialist for further assessment by a professional physician.
Reply Date: 2016/11/19
More Info
Understanding self-harm and emotional outbursts, particularly in the context of family dynamics, is a complex issue that often intertwines psychological, emotional, and social factors. Based on your description, it seems that you have been navigating a tumultuous emotional landscape shaped significantly by your family environment.
From a psychological perspective, self-harm and emotional outbursts can be manifestations of deeper emotional distress. In your case, it appears that the chaotic and often violent atmosphere in your household has contributed to your emotional instability. The fact that you resorted to self-harm during your middle school years indicates a struggle to cope with overwhelming feelings, such as anger, sadness, or frustration. Self-harm can sometimes serve as a way to release pent-up emotions or to exert control over one's body when other aspects of life feel uncontrollable.
As you transitioned into high school, your coping mechanisms evolved, but they did not necessarily become healthier. The shift to substance use—smoking and drinking—suggests an attempt to numb emotional pain rather than addressing the underlying issues. This pattern of behavior is not uncommon among individuals who have experienced trauma or chronic stress, as substances can temporarily alleviate emotional distress but ultimately lead to further complications, including dependency and health issues.
Your experiences of emotional outbursts, such as yelling or physical aggression during conflicts, are also indicative of a struggle with emotional regulation. This can be traced back to the family dynamics you described, where conflict was frequent and often escalated to violence. Growing up in such an environment can hinder the development of healthy coping strategies and emotional regulation skills. Instead of learning how to express emotions constructively, you may have internalized patterns of aggression and emotional volatility.
The ongoing family conflicts and the history of domestic violence in your home likely contribute to your feelings of instability and anxiety. Even if your parents are no longer physically violent, the emotional residue of their past behaviors can linger, creating an environment where you feel unsafe or on edge. This can lead to a heightened sensitivity to conflict and an increased likelihood of emotional outbursts.
It is crucial to recognize that your feelings and reactions are valid. The impact of your family dynamics on your emotional health cannot be understated. You are not alone in feeling overwhelmed by these experiences, and it is essential to seek support. Professional help, such as therapy or counseling, can provide you with a safe space to explore these feelings and develop healthier coping mechanisms. A mental health professional can help you understand the roots of your emotional responses and guide you in learning how to manage them more effectively.
In addition to seeking professional help, consider engaging in self-care practices that promote emotional well-being. Activities such as journaling, mindfulness, and physical exercise can help you process your emotions and reduce stress. Building a support network of friends or trusted individuals who understand your struggles can also provide a sense of belonging and validation.
In conclusion, your experiences of self-harm and emotional outbursts are deeply intertwined with the family dynamics you have faced. Understanding this connection is the first step toward healing. By seeking professional support and developing healthier coping strategies, you can work toward a more stable emotional state and a healthier relationship with yourself and others. Remember, it is okay to ask for help, and taking that step can lead to significant positive changes in your life.
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