Self-Harm: Seeking Help for Emotional Distress

Q: Self-Harm: Seeking Help for Emotional Distress

Hello： It is recommended to use a mood thermometer (link below, and there is also an app available for download) to assess your emotional state over the past week. <br>If your score is above 10, it is advisable to seek help. <br>If it exceeds 15, it is definitely time to consult

Self-harm related issues

Hello Doctor, I have been feeling very down lately.
When I get angry, I tend to scratch my hands, feet, and face with my nails, hit walls, pull my hair, and binge eat.
After these actions, I feel terrible about myself.
I also struggle with insomnia and often have nightmares.
Everything feels very bleak.
My parents divorced when I was young, and I went to live with my aunt, who has high expectations of me.
She has a history of depression and bipolar disorder.
Living with her has been stressful, as I often face verbal attacks and physical punishment.
Since then, I have developed self-harming tendencies, such as head-banging and hair-pulling, and sometimes I have thoughts of suicide, feeling that life is very difficult.

I thought things would improve after separating from her two years ago, but she still appears in my dreams.
Now I live with an aunt and my mother, hoping for a better situation, but I often feel scrutinized by them, as if they are judging and rejecting me.
Living with my aunt's family is very stressful; her sons sometimes verbally attack me, making me feel inadequate.
Recently, my self-harming behaviors have increased, and I find it hard to control my emotions.
Hurting myself seems to alleviate my psychological pain, providing a sense of release, especially when the physical pain subsides, leaving me feeling more comfortable.
Additionally, I am feeling pressure from returning to school after taking a two-year break, and I am struggling to adapt.
I also have an unexplained fever that doctors have been unable to diagnose, which frustrates my mother.
Even when I have a high fever, she doesn't pay much attention to me.
My relationship with my mother has been poor, and we often argue.
She has never been very fond of me, and I have a younger brother.
My mother is very biased towards males, and it wasn't until two years ago, after my brother went to live with my aunt, that she started paying more attention to me.
However, she still doesn't care much about my life, my identity, or my birthday; she doesn't really know anything about me.
We only spend about two hours together each day.

In my childhood, I would go missing to gain my family's attention, but when I realized they didn't care, I stopped doing that.
Overall, whether in the past or now, everything feels terrible.
I'm unsure if I should see a psychiatrist.
Sometimes I feel really bad, while other times I think I'm overreacting.
I'm feeling distressed and would like to know what I should do.
Doctor, could you please give me some advice?

Dazha Crab, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2020/09/21

Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry

Hello: It is recommended to use a mood thermometer (link below, and there is also an app available for download) to assess your emotional state over the past week.
If your score is above 10, it is advisable to seek help.
If it exceeds 15, it is definitely time to consult a psychiatrist.
The app will provide suggestions for nearby medical facilities or psychological counseling resources.
Hang in there! Many people (including myself) are willing to help you.
https://www.tsos.org.tw/web/page/bsrs#DrWuEnLiang

Reply Date: 2020/09/21

More Info

It sounds like you are going through an incredibly difficult time, and I want to emphasize that seeking help is not only important but also a brave step towards healing. Your experiences with self-harm, emotional distress, and the challenges you face in your relationships are serious and deserve attention from a mental health professional.

Self-harm, such as scratching, hitting, or pulling hair, often serves as a coping mechanism for emotional pain. It can provide a temporary sense of relief or release, but it ultimately does not address the underlying issues causing your distress. The feelings of guilt and shame that follow these behaviors can create a vicious cycle, making it even harder to cope with your emotions. It’s crucial to recognize that while self-harm may seem like a way to manage pain, it can lead to more significant emotional and physical harm over time.

Your history of trauma, particularly related to your family dynamics, is likely contributing to your current emotional state. Growing up in an environment where you felt criticized or unloved can have lasting effects on your self-esteem and mental health. The pressure from your aunt and the feelings of inadequacy in your relationships can exacerbate feelings of worthlessness and despair. It’s understandable that you might feel overwhelmed and unsure about how to navigate these feelings.

Given the complexity of your situation, I strongly recommend seeking professional help. A mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, can provide you with a safe space to explore your feelings and experiences. They can help you develop healthier coping strategies and work through the trauma you’ve experienced. Therapy can also assist you in building self-esteem and improving your relationships with others, including your family.

In addition to therapy, consider reaching out to support groups or hotlines where you can connect with others who have similar experiences. Sometimes, sharing your story with those who understand can provide comfort and validation. It’s also essential to engage in self-care practices that promote emotional well-being. This can include activities like journaling, art, exercise, or mindfulness practices, which can help you process your emotions in a healthier way.

If you are experiencing thoughts of self-harm or suicide, it is critical to seek immediate help. You can contact a crisis hotline or go to the nearest emergency room. Your safety is the top priority, and there are people who want to help you through this.

Lastly, remember that healing is a journey, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time. You are not alone in this, and there are resources available to support you. It’s commendable that you are reaching out for advice, and I encourage you to take the next step towards seeking professional help. You deserve to feel better and to find joy in your life again.

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