Self-Harm: Navigating Emotional Turmoil and Trust Issues - Psychiatry

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Self-harm may occur during periods of emotional instability?


Hello, Doctor.
I have attempted suicide in sixth grade and seventh grade, and I have engaged in self-harm from time to time.
However, these issues gradually improved when I entered high school.
But there are two things that continue to trouble me.

The first issue is that even though I currently have a positive and optimistic mindset, I still harm myself whenever I experience negative emotions.
Sometimes, even when I am genuinely sad, I still laugh, and when I get caught up in my emotions, I wish I could erase my past self.
I find it difficult to confront the mistakes I made in the past and cannot accept my flaws (whether they are related to my personality or appearance).
Periodically, I experience intense self-loathing that lasts from one to three days.
However, I still present myself as a "normal person" in front of my classmates and family, only revealing these ugly sides to my partner, which I know puts a significant burden on them.
The second issue is that I have almost no trust in others (including family, close friends, or my partner).
I believe this is a serious character flaw, but I currently cannot find a way to improve it.
I hope everything can get better through my own efforts.
I don’t think I need to see a psychiatrist; there are many people in the world who are more unfortunate than I am, and my troubles seem trivial.
However, I still seek professional advice and hope you can guide me.
Thank you! (I am currently reading related books in hopes of helping myself, but since I am just starting, the results may not be significant.
I would greatly appreciate any recommendations you might have.)

Abby, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2018/03/01

Dr. Qiu Junda reply Psychiatry


Hello.
The text reveals that negative emotions often lead to self-harming behaviors.
I hope you can cherish yourself.
Just as you are asking questions, it is also a hope for your mental and physical well-being.
I suggest you consult a mental health professional as soon as possible (don't think of it as seeing a doctor).
If that is truly inconvenient, please seek help from Teacher Chang (1980) or the Lifeline (1995) hotline.
They can also provide counseling, guidance, and referral services to help you address your concerns.

Reply Date: 2018/03/01

More Info


Hello, thank you for sharing your experiences and concerns. It sounds like you are navigating a complex emotional landscape, and I commend you for seeking help and wanting to understand yourself better. Self-harm and suicidal thoughts are serious issues, and it's crucial to address them with care and professional support.

From what you've described, it seems that you experience a significant disconnect between your outward demeanor and your internal emotional state. This is not uncommon among individuals who struggle with self-esteem and self-acceptance. The tendency to present a "normal" facade to the world while feeling turmoil inside can be exhausting and isolating. It's important to recognize that this duality is a coping mechanism, often developed as a way to protect oneself from judgment or misunderstanding from others.

Your self-harm behaviors and suicidal thoughts indicate a deep level of distress. These actions are often a way to cope with overwhelming emotions or to express feelings that are difficult to articulate. It's essential to understand that self-harm is not a solution; it may provide temporary relief but ultimately can lead to more significant emotional pain and complications. Seeking professional help from a mental health provider can offer you the tools and support you need to manage these feelings in healthier ways.

Regarding your trust issues, it's understandable to feel hesitant about opening up to others, especially if you've experienced hurt or betrayal in the past. Trust is a fundamental component of relationships, and when it is compromised, it can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. Building trust takes time and often requires vulnerability, which can be challenging. However, it's important to remember that not everyone will hurt you, and there are people who genuinely care and want to support you.

You mentioned that you don't believe you need to see a mental health professional because others have it worse. This perspective can be detrimental to your well-being. Your feelings and experiences are valid, regardless of how they compare to others. It's crucial to prioritize your mental health and seek help when needed. A mental health professional can provide a safe space for you to explore your feelings, understand the root causes of your self-harm, and develop coping strategies that work for you.

In addition to seeking professional help, consider engaging in self-care practices that promote emotional well-being. This could include journaling, practicing mindfulness or meditation, engaging in physical activity, or exploring creative outlets like art or music. These activities can help you process your emotions and provide a sense of accomplishment and joy.

Lastly, I encourage you to continue reading and educating yourself about mental health. Knowledge can empower you to understand your feelings better and develop healthier coping mechanisms. However, remember that while self-help resources are valuable, they should not replace professional guidance, especially when dealing with self-harm and suicidal thoughts.

In conclusion, please take your feelings seriously and consider reaching out to a mental health professional. You deserve support and care as you navigate these challenges. Remember, you are not alone, and there is hope for healing and growth.

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