Stay away from sources of stress?
Hello Dr.
Wu, I understand that I have tendencies towards depression.
Sometimes I experience hand tremors, chest tightness, and difficulty breathing.
During low emotional periods, I often complain and get angry about past events.
I know I shouldn't behave this way, but I find it hard to control.
I also recognize that the source of my stress is an elder in my household.
Would it help me if I left the family or if the person causing me stress moved away? I worry that I might feel guilty and be concerned about how others perceive the situation, thinking that it was because of me that they had to move.
I feel very conflicted and sometimes don't know how to go on with my life.
Thank you.
JJ, 40~49 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/12/21
Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry
Of course, distancing oneself from stressors is a way to manage stress.
Some people maintain a distance from their elders and meet occasionally, which can alleviate stress and improve relationships.
However, if feelings of sadness persist and lead to ongoing depression, it may be necessary to seek medical attention.
Reply Date: 2016/12/21
More Info
Managing depression, especially in the context of stressful family dynamics, can be a complex and challenging journey. It’s commendable that you recognize your feelings and the impact of your family environment on your mental health. The symptoms you describe, such as trembling hands, chest tightness, and difficulty breathing, are often associated with anxiety and can be exacerbated by familial stressors. Understanding the root of these feelings is the first step toward finding relief.
Family dynamics can significantly influence our emotional well-being. In your case, it seems that the presence of certain family members is a source of stress and negativity. The idea of distancing yourself from these stressors—whether by moving out or having the person causing you distress relocate—can indeed provide a sense of relief. However, it’s essential to approach this decision thoughtfully. The fear of being blamed or feeling guilty for someone else's situation is a common concern, but prioritizing your mental health is crucial. Remember, it’s not selfish to seek a healthier environment for yourself.
Here are some strategies to consider as you navigate these feelings:
1. Establish Boundaries: If possible, set emotional and physical boundaries with family members who contribute to your stress. This could mean limiting the time you spend with them or creating a safe space in your home where you can retreat when feeling overwhelmed.
2. Seek Professional Help: Engaging with a mental health professional can provide you with tools to manage your depression and anxiety. Therapy can help you process your feelings about your family dynamics and develop coping strategies. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for addressing negative thought patterns and behaviors.
3. Practice Self-Care: Incorporate self-care routines into your daily life. This could include physical activities, mindfulness practices like meditation or yoga, or engaging in hobbies that bring you joy. Taking care of your physical health can have a positive impact on your mental health.
4. Communicate Openly: If you feel comfortable, try to communicate your feelings to your family members. Expressing how their actions affect you can sometimes lead to greater understanding and change. However, ensure that you do this in a safe and constructive manner.
5. Develop a Support System: Surround yourself with supportive friends or family members who understand your situation. Having a network of people to talk to can alleviate feelings of isolation and provide you with different perspectives on your challenges.
6. Consider the Bigger Picture: Reflect on your long-term goals and what you want for your life. Sometimes, making a significant change, like moving out, can be a step toward achieving a healthier and more fulfilling life. It’s essential to weigh the pros and cons and consider how such a change aligns with your personal values and goals.
7. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Engage in mindfulness practices that can help ground you during moments of anxiety. Techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or guided imagery can help reduce immediate feelings of panic and stress.
In conclusion, while the idea of distancing yourself from stressful family dynamics may seem daunting, it can be a necessary step toward improving your mental health. It’s vital to prioritize your well-being and seek the support you need. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there are resources available to help you navigate these challenges. If you find yourself struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help. Your mental health is worth the effort.
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