Children who are sensitive and easily irritable?
Hello Doctor: We have two boys, the older one is currently 3 years and 4 months old and will start preschool around July this year.
Overall, he is a typical child, but we are quite troubled by his sensitive personality and low frustration tolerance.
For example, when he exhibits inappropriate behavior, we verbally admonish him (without any physical punishment), but he often reacts by pouting and getting angry, then starts to cry and throw a tantrum.
Despite our gentle reassurances, he refuses to calm down and insists on expressing his feelings forcefully, resembling a storm that won’t stop until he has fully vented, which can sometimes take 10 to 20 minutes.
This situation does not occur every day, but when he is slightly tired, he becomes emotionally unstable; even if we do not intend to scold him, he can suddenly become stubborn and explode in frustration.
Additionally, he has strong "habits," such as insisting that either his mother or grandmother help him bathe or clean himself, and he gets upset if he does not have his usual dishes.
Sometimes, when his mother is comforting his younger brother (1 year and 6 months), he exhibits attention-seeking behavior, even pushing his brother away to ensure that his mother can only hold him.
We have also noticed that he is very sensitive to things that touch his body, such as water droplets or food, and he often resists trying on new clothes.
At other times, he seems quite normal, communicates well, and can be a bit shy or timid when going out, which leaves us wondering whether this is just a transitional phase in his development or if we should seek a psychological evaluation from a doctor.
Thank you.
Wan Ba, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/12/29
Dr. Song Chengxian reply Psychiatry
Hello, Mr.
Wan: You mentioned that your eldest child has a stubborn personality, difficulty in changing habits, challenges in emotional regulation, and issues with tactile hypersensitivity, which can indeed be quite troublesome.
For the part about uncontrollable tantrums, you might first try the temporary isolation method.
Please refer to http://www.books.com.tw/products/0010079547 and https://www.top1health.com/Article/29136.
If this does not yield results, you can seek a comprehensive evaluation from a pediatric psychiatrist or a child psychologist to better understand the underlying reasons for these traits and to develop appropriate management strategies.
Sincerely, Dr.
Song.
Reply Date: 2016/12/29
More Info
It sounds like you are experiencing some common challenges that many parents face with young children, particularly those who may be more sensitive or have a lower frustration tolerance. Your observations about your older son’s behavior are important and can provide insight into his emotional and developmental state.
Firstly, it’s essential to understand that sensitivity and irritability in young children can manifest in various ways, including emotional outbursts, strong reactions to perceived criticism, and difficulty with transitions or changes in routine. Children at this age are still developing their emotional regulation skills, and some may naturally be more sensitive than others due to their temperament.
From what you’ve described, your son exhibits several behaviors that could be indicative of a heightened sensitivity. For instance, his strong reactions to being told "no," his need for specific routines (like who helps him with bathing), and his sensitivity to physical sensations (like water drops or new clothing) suggest that he may be experiencing sensory processing sensitivities. This is not uncommon in young children, and many will outgrow these sensitivities as they develop better coping mechanisms and emotional regulation skills.
However, there are a few key points to consider when determining whether to seek professional help:
1. Frequency and Intensity of Outbursts: While occasional emotional outbursts are typical for children, if your son’s reactions are frequent and intense, it may be beneficial to consult with a pediatrician or child psychologist. They can help assess whether these behaviors are within the range of typical development or if they indicate a more significant issue.
2. Impact on Daily Life: Consider how these behaviors affect your son’s daily life and the family dynamic. If his sensitivity and irritability are causing significant distress for him or disrupting family routines, it may be time to seek professional advice.
3. Developmental Milestones: Keep an eye on his overall development. Is he meeting other developmental milestones for his age? If there are concerns in other areas, such as communication or social skills, a professional evaluation could provide clarity.
4. Parental Support and Strategies: In the meantime, employing strategies to support your son’s emotional development can be helpful. This can include:
- Modeling Emotional Regulation: Show him how to express feelings in a healthy way. Use simple language to label emotions and validate his feelings.
- Routine and Predictability: Children often thrive on routine. Providing a consistent daily schedule can help him feel more secure and reduce anxiety.
- Sensory-Friendly Environment: Create a space where he can feel comfortable. This might mean allowing him to choose his clothes or providing a quiet area for him to retreat when feeling overwhelmed.
- Positive Reinforcement: Encourage and praise him when he handles situations well or expresses his feelings appropriately.
5. Professional Evaluation: If you continue to have concerns, seeking an evaluation from a child psychologist or a pediatrician specializing in child development can provide valuable insights. They can assess whether your son’s behaviors are part of typical development or if they indicate a need for additional support.
In conclusion, while sensitivity and irritability can be part of normal childhood development, it’s essential to monitor the frequency and intensity of these behaviors. If they are significantly impacting your son’s life or your family’s dynamics, seeking professional help can provide guidance and support. Remember, early intervention can be beneficial in helping children develop the skills they need to navigate their emotions and interactions with others effectively.
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