Emotional Challenges in a Three-Year-Old: When to Seek Help

Q: Emotional Challenges in a Three-Year-Old: When to Seek Help

Dear hardworking mothers： The emotions of children and adults can significantly influence each other. <br>A child's crying can often lead to our own emotional distress and tension, which may cause us to respond to the child with a harsher tone or approach, often unintentionally.

Emotional issues in a three-year-old child?

My son is currently three and a half years old and has had atopic dermatitis since birth.
He experiences intense itching every day, which disrupts his sleep.
We have been treating his dermatitis regularly, but perhaps due to his discomfort, he has become irritable and easily angered.
He often cries and throws tantrums over minor issues, and despite our attempts to soothe him, we are unable to calm him down.
This behavior has worsened since he turned three, and he seems to have daily outbursts over trivial matters.
Additionally, he is very attached to his mother and insists on her for everything, rejecting his father.
I initially thought that boys around the age of two or three are typically difficult to manage, especially given his ongoing physical discomfort.
However, a friend suggested that his behavior might indicate a need for psychological treatment.
I kindly request your advice, doctor! Thank you!

Kuai bengkuai de mama, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2017/06/17

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry

Dear hardworking mothers: The emotions of children and adults can significantly influence each other.
A child's crying can often lead to our own emotional distress and tension, which may cause us to respond to the child with a harsher tone or approach, often unintentionally.
When children sense this tension, their emotions may become even more unstable, leading to louder crying.
Caregivers then feel more frustrated and stressed, making it even harder to calmly address the child's unreasonable behavior, thus falling into a worsening vicious cycle.
This cycle must be broken by adults.
The first step is to take care of your own physical and mental well-being; allow yourself to relax when needed and take time for leisure.
Typically, after relaxing, you will be able to address your child's problematic behaviors with more persistence and creativity.
If there is still no improvement, engaging in parent-child play therapy at this age can also be beneficial.

Reply Date: 2017/06/17

More Info

It sounds like you are facing a challenging situation with your three-and-a-half-year-old son, who has been dealing with atopic dermatitis since birth. This condition can indeed lead to discomfort, sleep disturbances, and irritability, which may contribute to his emotional outbursts and clinginess to you as his primary caregiver. It’s understandable that you are concerned about his behavior and are seeking guidance on whether it might be time to seek professional help.

First, it’s important to recognize that children at this age are still developing their emotional regulation skills. They often express their feelings through tantrums and crying, especially when they are uncomfortable or unable to articulate their needs. However, the intensity and frequency of your son's outbursts, particularly if they have worsened since he turned three, may indicate that there are underlying issues that need to be addressed.

Given that your son has a chronic condition like atopic dermatitis, it is not uncommon for children to exhibit increased irritability and emotional distress. Chronic discomfort can affect a child's mood and behavior, leading to frustration and tantrums. The fact that he is particularly clingy to you may also suggest that he is seeking comfort and security from you during times of distress. This attachment is normal, but if it is accompanied by extreme reactions to minor frustrations, it may warrant further exploration.

Here are some considerations and steps you can take:
1. Consult with a Pediatrician: Since your son has a medical condition that affects his skin and overall comfort, it’s crucial to ensure that his dermatitis is being managed effectively. A pediatrician can assess whether his current treatment is adequate or if adjustments are needed. They can also evaluate his behavior in the context of his physical discomfort.

2. Behavioral Assessment: If his tantrums and emotional outbursts continue to escalate, it may be beneficial to consult a child psychologist or a pediatric mental health specialist. They can conduct a thorough assessment to determine if there are any underlying emotional or behavioral issues that need to be addressed. This could include exploring whether he is experiencing anxiety, frustration, or other emotional challenges related to his skin condition.

3. Parenting Strategies: In the meantime, consider implementing some behavioral strategies at home. Consistent routines can provide a sense of security for children. Positive reinforcement for calm behavior and setting clear boundaries can also help. When he does have a tantrum, try to remain calm and provide comfort without reinforcing the behavior. It’s important to validate his feelings while also teaching him appropriate ways to express his frustration.

4. Emotional Support: Encourage your son to express his feelings verbally as much as possible. Simple phrases like "I feel sad" or "I am frustrated" can help him learn to articulate his emotions rather than resorting to crying or tantrums. You can model this behavior by sharing your feelings in age-appropriate ways.

5. Consider Professional Help: If after implementing these strategies you still find that his behavior is significantly impacting his daily life or your family dynamics, seeking help from a mental health professional may be warranted. Early intervention can be very beneficial in helping children develop coping strategies and emotional regulation skills.

In summary, while it is normal for young children to have emotional outbursts, the severity and frequency of your son's reactions, especially in the context of his ongoing discomfort, suggest that it may be beneficial to seek further evaluation. Addressing both his physical and emotional needs will be key to helping him navigate this challenging time. Remember, you are not alone in this, and seeking help is a proactive step towards ensuring your son’s well-being.

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