Struggling with Erection Issues: Psychological and Physical Factors - Urology

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Erectile dysfunction, poor rigidity?


Hello, doctor.
Let me briefly summarize my experience.
My previous girlfriend had a high sexual demand, and since I had no prior sexual experience, I struggled to maintain an erection during our first time together.
I'm unsure if this was due to psychological factors or because I often stayed up late (due to my field of study).
Later, I relied on a few medications (purchased from a sex shop, not Viagra).
I'm not sure if it was psychological or the effect of the medication (the owner claimed it was a supplement and not immediately effective).
Each time I took it, I was able to maintain an erection and last longer, but because of her high demands, I developed feelings of inadequacy since I often couldn't satisfy her.
After about a year of being single, I recently started dating again, but I'm very troubled in the bedroom.
Over the past year, I had been relying on DIY methods, but when it came to actual intercourse, I found it very difficult to achieve an erection (none of the methods seemed effective).
Even when I could get an erection, it would quickly subside.
I've communicated with my girlfriend about the pressure from my previous relationship, and after experiencing this situation for the first time, I find myself wanting to perform better, but it only seems to worsen.
I keep telling myself to relax, yet my body feels unresponsive, which is truly frustrating.
I would appreciate your insights, doctor!

E, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2017/05/13

Dr. Du Shixi reply Urology


Hello: The first important thing to note is to maintain a normal lifestyle, including proper nutrition and sleep.
Your diet should be light, and you should engage in moderate exercise.
Secondly, you should consult a urologist.
If you are unable to maintain an erection for a few minutes, you may need to consider medication, but it is advisable to avoid over-the-counter drugs, as some medications can have long-term effects.

Reply Date: 2017/05/13

More Info


Erectile dysfunction (ED) can be a complex issue that often involves both psychological and physical factors. Your experience highlights several key aspects that are important to understand when addressing this condition.

Firstly, it’s essential to recognize that psychological factors can significantly impact sexual performance. Anxiety, particularly performance anxiety, is a common contributor to erectile difficulties. In your case, the pressure to meet your partner's sexual needs, especially after a previous relationship where you felt inadequate, can create a cycle of anxiety that exacerbates the problem. This anxiety can stem from fear of failure, self-doubt, or even past experiences that have left a mark on your self-esteem. When you find yourself in a situation where you feel you must perform, the stress can lead to a paradoxical effect where the very desire to perform well inhibits your ability to do so.

Moreover, your mention of using over-the-counter supplements or medications from a novelty shop raises concerns. While some products may claim to enhance sexual performance, they are not always scientifically validated and can sometimes lead to more anxiety about performance. It's crucial to approach such products with caution, as they may not address the underlying issues and could potentially lead to dependency or further complications.

On the physical side, lifestyle factors such as sleep deprivation, which you mentioned due to your academic demands, can also play a significant role in erectile function. Lack of sleep can affect hormone levels, energy, and overall health, which are all critical for sexual performance. Additionally, chronic stress and anxiety can lead to changes in blood flow and nerve function, further complicating the issue.

It’s also worth noting that the transition from one relationship to another can be challenging. The emotional baggage from your previous relationship, combined with the new dynamics of your current relationship, can create a perfect storm for performance issues. Communication with your partner is vital, as you’ve already begun to do. Being open about your feelings and experiences can help alleviate some of the pressure you feel and foster a supportive environment.

To address your concerns effectively, consider the following steps:
1. Consult a Healthcare Professional: It’s important to speak with a healthcare provider who specializes in sexual health. They can help determine if there are any underlying medical conditions contributing to your ED and provide guidance on safe and effective treatment options.

2. Therapy or Counseling: Engaging in therapy, particularly cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), can help address performance anxiety and improve your self-esteem. A therapist can work with you to develop coping strategies and help you reframe your thoughts around sexual performance.

3. Lifestyle Changes: Focus on improving your overall health through better sleep hygiene, regular exercise, and a balanced diet. These changes can enhance your physical health and, in turn, your sexual health.

4. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practicing mindfulness, meditation, or relaxation techniques can help reduce anxiety and improve your ability to focus on the moment rather than worrying about performance.

5. Open Communication with Your Partner: Continue to communicate openly with your current partner about your feelings and experiences. This can help build intimacy and reduce pressure, allowing you to focus on enjoying the experience rather than performing.

In summary, erectile dysfunction can stem from a combination of psychological and physical factors. Addressing these issues holistically through professional guidance, lifestyle changes, and open communication can lead to improvements in your sexual health and overall well-being. Remember, you are not alone in this struggle, and seeking help is a positive step towards resolution.

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