Insufficient rigidity during penetration?
Hello Doctor, I have never had sexual experience before and I have phimosis (very tight, unable to retract).
A urologist examined me and said that my foreskin is filled with smegma, and I need a circumcision but I haven't had it done yet.
Recently, when I tried to have sexual intercourse with my girlfriend (who has experience), I found that my penis becomes softer and less erect when trying to find the vaginal opening, making it difficult to penetrate.
The situation is that when I can't find the opening and my penis is rubbing near the vagina, it becomes softer, and I'm not sure if it's because I'm distracted trying to find the opening and not receiving continuous sexual stimulation.
So, I asked my girlfriend to help guide my penis in, but when she holds it a bit too tightly, it becomes uncomfortable and goes soft.
Even during oral sex, if she sucks too hard, I feel uncomfortable and it goes soft as well; I don't feel any enjoyment.
When using a condom, the sensitivity of the foreskin and the tip of the glans makes it difficult to put it on because it becomes soft.
Once, when I managed to penetrate a little, I felt a lot of sensitivity and discomfort in the glans when trying to go deeper, which caused it to go soft again.
I'm really troubled by this; why is it that everything seems normal when I try by myself, but I can't penetrate? I visited a urologist, and the doctor said that the situation with the smegma is quite severe (I haven't retracted and cleaned it for 23 years), and I can feel the hard lumps of smegma.
I'm not sure if this condition could really lead to failure in penetration; I don't quite understand the correlation.
The doctor suggested that I definitely need a circumcision and also considered psychological factors, prescribing Viagra for me, but I haven't tried it since breaking up.
I think it might be because my glans has never been exposed, making it very sensitive, combined with the tight foreskin.
When trying to enter the vagina, it tends to retract due to the tightness, causing pain in the foreskin and sensitivity in the glans, which leads to it going soft.
So, I wonder if having a circumcision would help desensitize the glans over time and prevent it from going soft.
Could you please help clarify the possible reasons for my situation? Would circumcision or taking Viagra be effective? I'm really worried, and I would greatly appreciate your guidance.
Thank you!
Kǔnǎo Nánzǐ, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2017/06/05
Dr. Du Shixi reply Urology
Hello: Here are my suggestions for you.
1) Circumcision is necessary, but it is best to schedule it before a holiday, as your situation may lead to increased sensitivity and discomfort while walking after the procedure.
It would be ideal to have a few days off to rest.
2) There are many reasons for insufficient erectile hardness, but what you can do is to reduce DIY activities and engage in regular exercise (non-strenuous).
If you are overweight, aim to lose weight, and avoid overly oily or spicy foods.
Minimize prolonged sitting, and maintain this for at least a few weeks.
Wait until after the circumcision to resume sexual activity.
3) The issues caused by your foreskin problem have affected your sexual performance, which in turn has created psychological pressure, further worsening erectile hardness.
It can be a vicious cycle that makes it difficult to perform well.
So, take it easy and wait until you are ready to find a girlfriend.
4) I advise you not to take over-the-counter medications or health supplements indiscriminately.
You need to follow the post-operative care and lifestyle recommendations to see improvement.
Wishing you good health.
Reply Date: 2017/06/05
More Info
Erection issues during intercourse can be distressing and are often influenced by a combination of physical and psychological factors. In your case, several key elements appear to be contributing to the difficulties you are experiencing.
1. Physical Factors:
- Phimosis: You mentioned having a tight foreskin (phimosis) that has not been retracted for cleaning for 23 years. This condition can lead to discomfort and sensitivity during sexual activity. When the foreskin is tight, it can cause pain or discomfort when attempting penetration, which may lead to a loss of erection. The presence of smegma (the buildup of dead skin cells, oils, and other secretions) can exacerbate this issue, leading to irritation and increased sensitivity.
- Sensitivity: The sensitivity of the glans (the head of the penis) can be heightened if it has never been exposed. This increased sensitivity can lead to discomfort during penetration, causing you to lose your erection.
2. Psychological Factors:
- Anxiety and Distraction: The anxiety of not being able to find the vaginal opening and the pressure of the situation can lead to distraction, making it difficult to maintain an erection. This is a common issue known as performance anxiety, where the fear of not being able to perform leads to a cycle of anxiety and erectile dysfunction.
- Previous Experiences: If you have had negative experiences or discomfort in the past, these can create a mental block that affects your ability to maintain an erection during intercourse.
3. Potential Solutions:
- Circumcision: Given your situation, circumcision may be a beneficial option. It can alleviate the tightness of the foreskin, reduce sensitivity, and allow for easier cleaning, which can improve comfort during sexual activity. Many men report improved sexual experiences after circumcision, as it can help desensitize the glans over time.
- Medication: The use of medications like Viagra (sildenafil) can help with erectile dysfunction by increasing blood flow to the penis, making it easier to achieve and maintain an erection. However, it is essential to address the underlying physical issues first, as medication alone may not resolve the discomfort caused by phimosis or sensitivity.
- Counseling or Therapy: If anxiety or psychological factors are significant contributors to your erection issues, speaking with a therapist or counselor specializing in sexual health can be beneficial. They can help you develop coping strategies and address any performance anxiety.
4. Next Steps:
- Consult a Urologist: It is crucial to follow up with a urologist regarding your phimosis and the recommendation for circumcision. They can provide you with detailed information about the procedure, recovery, and expected outcomes.
- Open Communication: If you enter a new relationship, communicate openly with your partner about your concerns and experiences. This can help alleviate some of the pressure and anxiety associated with sexual performance.
In summary, your erection issues during intercourse are likely due to a combination of physical factors related to phimosis and sensitivity, as well as psychological factors such as anxiety. Addressing the physical issues through circumcision and considering the use of medications like Viagra, along with seeking support for any psychological concerns, can help improve your sexual health and experience. It is essential to consult with healthcare professionals to explore these options further.
Similar Q&A
Understanding Why Erection Loss Occurs During Intercourse: Common Causes Explained
It sounds like you are experiencing issues with maintaining an erection during sexual activity. This could be due to a variety of factors, including psychological factors such as anxiety or stress, physical factors such as blood flow issues, or even a lack of arousal. It's i...
Dr. Xu Weikai reply Urology
Nervous person: Hello, it may be due to insufficient or lack of continuous stimulation during intercourse. If there are any unclear points, feel free to ask again, and we can discuss and research further. Answers from the internet should only be used as a reference; if necessary,...[Read More] Understanding Why Erection Loss Occurs During Intercourse: Common Causes Explained
How to Address Erectile Issues During Intercourse: Expert Tips
Hello Dr. Hsu: When I have intercourse with my girlfriend, I notice that halfway through, my penis becomes less rigid. Eventually, it becomes difficult to continue because I can't pull out, but my penis is soft. How can I improve this situation? Thank you.
Dr. Xu Weikai reply Urology
Xiao Lin: Hello, possible conditions include: 1. Inability to maintain stimulation 2. Erectile dysfunction, which may be related to neurological, vascular, or psychological factors, as well as a lack of regular exercise, leading to insufficient cardiac output to sustain an erecti...[Read More] How to Address Erectile Issues During Intercourse: Expert Tips
Understanding and Managing Sexual Desire Issues in Urology
It is common to notice that during daily activities, there may be instances where there is a lack of erection before ejaculation. This can be attributed to various factors, including psychological stress, fatigue, or hormonal imbalances. To address issues related to sexual desire...
Dr. Du Shixi reply Urology
Hello: Your situation is likely not ejaculation, but rather the release of some prostatic fluid. If you do not have a regular partner, then DIY solutions are your only option. Wishing you good health.[Read More] Understanding and Managing Sexual Desire Issues in Urology
Understanding and Treating Incomplete Erections: A Guide for Better Sexual Health
It sounds like you are experiencing erectile dysfunction and difficulties with sexual performance. This can be caused by a variety of factors, including psychological issues, stress, anxiety, or physical health conditions. Here are some steps you can consider for treatment: 1. *...
Dr. Lin Hexing reply Urology
Hello, based on your description, it seems you are experiencing erectile dysfunction. Since you are not yet married and are still in school without a stable income, it may be too early to seek out pleasurable sexual experiences at your age. Focusing on improving your physical fit...[Read More] Understanding and Treating Incomplete Erections: A Guide for Better Sexual Health
Related FAQ
(Urology)
Erectile Dysfunction(Urology)
Anal Intercourse(Urology)
Sexual Activity(Urology)
Morning Erection(Urology)
Sexual Climax(Urology)
Sexual Function(Urology)
Erection(Pharmacology)
Sexually Transmitted Diseases(Urology)
Masturbation(Urology)