Struggling with Mental Health: Seeking Help Amidst Family Doubts

Q: Struggling with Mental Health: Seeking Help Amidst Family Doubts

Hello： You have graduated from university, have a stable boyfriend, and are doing well at work, which is likely the result of your hard work. <br>If you experience insomnia and anxiety about once a month, it may be worth noting if these episodes occur primarily before your menstr

I want to save myself?

Since I was in sixth grade, I have experienced sudden bouts of deep sadness and crying, feeling an overwhelming desire to die, as if I can't get through a single day.
On average, these emotional breakdowns occur 1-2 times a year.
Although I discussed this with my parents during middle school, who are both doctors, they have always been skeptical, believing that I am overreacting and unable to understand why I feel so hopeless.
They often tell me to be happier and to keep pushing forward, but hearing those words only makes me feel worse.
Afraid of worrying them, I have been pretending to be fine.
In summary, my parents have consistently denied my feelings of depression and frequently mention the high dependency and side effects of psychiatric medications.
Since they can access my medical records from the clinic, I have never sought help from a psychiatrist.
During a health check-up in my freshman year, I discovered that I had slightly low thyroid levels.
The doctor mentioned it was only marginally low, and I didn't think much of it at the time, so I didn't pursue treatment.
I tried to convince myself that my feelings of sadness were due to not having experienced romantic love, but now that I am graduating from college and have been in a stable relationship for nearly a year, as well as having a smooth transition into work, I still find myself suddenly breaking down.
I struggle to sleep well at night, and when I do sleep, it's not restful.
The frequency of these episodes is increasing, almost once a month.
During my last trip, I was triggered by something I saw and suddenly thought that dying might be better.
Although I feel guilty for those who love me, I am just so tired.
I was frightened by my own thoughts and couldn't sleep all night, feeling like I was sinking deeper into despair.
My boyfriend quietly comforts me during my low moments (which is better than any motivational talk) and has even said he would marry me if I wanted.
However, I can't agree to that; my feelings of depression and suicidal thoughts would not allow me to make anyone happy.
I fear that marrying him might lead to heartbreak one day (I have a vague sense of hopelessness and think that breaking up with him sooner might lessen the pain).
I feel that I should at least try before giving up.
Now, I am considering seeking psychological counseling using an IC card to avoid leaving a record, but the market prices vary greatly and are quite chaotic.
I am unsure if this approach would be effective.
I also don't know how to convince my family.

Wo xiang shui le, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2017/09/05

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry

Hello: You have graduated from university, have a stable boyfriend, and are doing well at work, which is likely the result of your hard work.
If you experience insomnia and anxiety about once a month, it may be worth noting if these episodes occur primarily before your menstrual period.
If this is the case, it could be related to premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD).
If it is PMDD and the symptoms are severe, medication can help improve the condition.
When a person is feeling down, thoughts tend to lean towards pessimism, but those are just temporary feelings.
It is advisable to give yourself more time and avoid impulsive decisions; as your mood improves, negative thoughts usually follow suit.
Psychological counseling and therapy are indeed options to consider, as they can help you explore your inner worries and thoughts.
When communicating with your family, it is recommended to be patient and maintain consistent communication, allowing them to understand your situation and difficulties.
I believe they will listen.
Hypothyroidism can also present symptoms related to depression, so if you haven't been monitored for a while, it may be advisable to follow up.
You might also discuss the issue of hypothyroidism with your family, as they may find it easier to accept and understand, thus supporting you in seeking medical care.
Wishing you all the best.

Reply Date: 2017/09/05

More Info

It sounds like you are going through an incredibly challenging time, and I want to acknowledge the courage it takes to share your feelings and experiences. Struggling with mental health issues, especially in the context of family dynamics that may not be supportive or understanding, can be isolating and overwhelming.
From what you've described, it seems that you have been experiencing recurrent episodes of severe emotional distress since you were in sixth grade. These episodes, characterized by feelings of despair and thoughts of self-harm, are serious and warrant attention. It's concerning that despite having a family background in medicine, your parents have not been able to validate your feelings or provide the support you need. Their dismissive attitude towards your mental health struggles can exacerbate feelings of isolation and hopelessness.

It's important to understand that mental health issues are real and can affect anyone, regardless of their background or circumstances. The feelings you are experiencing are not simply a reflection of being overly dramatic; they are valid emotional responses that deserve to be addressed. The fact that you have tried to rationalize your feelings by attributing them to external factors, such as not being in a romantic relationship, indicates a level of self-awareness that is commendable. However, it also highlights the complexity of mental health, where multiple factors—biological, psychological, and social—interact.

Your mention of having slightly low thyroid levels is also significant. Thyroid dysfunction can contribute to mood disorders, including depression and anxiety. It would be wise to follow up with a healthcare provider regarding your thyroid levels, as addressing any underlying medical issues could potentially alleviate some of your emotional distress.

Regarding your thoughts about seeking psychological counseling, it's a positive step that you are considering this option. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore your feelings, develop coping strategies, and work through the underlying issues contributing to your emotional turmoil. The concern about the cost and effectiveness of therapy is valid, but many therapists offer sliding scale fees based on income, and some community organizations provide low-cost services. It might be helpful to research local mental health resources or support groups that can guide you in finding a therapist who fits your needs.

As for your parents' skepticism about psychiatric medications, it's essential to have an open dialogue about mental health treatment options. While it's true that some medications can have side effects, they can also be incredibly beneficial for many individuals. Educating your parents about mental health and the various treatment modalities available—such as therapy, lifestyle changes, and medication—might help them understand your situation better.

In terms of your relationship with your boyfriend, it’s commendable that he is supportive during your low moments. However, it’s crucial to communicate openly with him about your feelings and struggles. You deserve to be in a relationship where both partners can support each other through difficult times. If you feel that your mental health issues might impact your relationship, discussing these concerns with him could foster understanding and strengthen your bond.

Ultimately, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It’s okay to prioritize your mental health and well-being. You are not alone in this journey, and there are professionals who can help you navigate these challenges. Remember, taking the first step towards seeking help can be daunting, but it is a vital part of the healing process. You deserve to feel better and to live a fulfilling life.

Similar Q&A

Facing Family Crisis: Seeking Help for Mental Health Struggles

I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It's very important that you talk to someone who can help you, such as a mental health professional or a trusted person in your life.

Dr. Lin Junyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello, it is great to hear that you have been consistently taking your medication recently, and the progress you've made over the past year has empowered you to support others. I believe you have the wisdom and capability to adapt to the upcoming changes in your life (your b...

Overcoming Mental Health Stigma: Seeking Help Without Fear

I am afraid to seek medical treatment because I worry that my family will go crazy if they find out. I have always struggled with self-confidence, and whenever negative thoughts flood in, I contemplate self-harm. I often hear about people choosing to leave this world due to vario...

Dr. Huang Weiqin reply Psychiatry
To the inquiring netizen: I understand that you are suffering due to psychological distress, and I would like to offer some suggestions. If you are still in school, you can discuss your situation with a counselor at your school's counseling center to see if you would benefit...

Struggling to Communicate: The Impact of Family Dynamics on Mental Health

Due to family circumstances, I was raised by my uncle. People around me always say to listen to him because he has made many sacrifices to take care of me. However, during our conversations, he often imposes his own beliefs on me, and if I respond incorrectly, he calls me an idio...

Dr. Yan Congyou reply Psychiatry
Hello: It sounds like your situation at home is quite oppressive and unhappy, which is a major source of your distress and unhappiness. Family issues are often the most challenging problems for individuals to handle and are something that everyone is forced to confront. These sit...

Understanding and Addressing Suspected Mental Health Issues in Family Members

Hello Doctor: I would like to ask you about my sister, who has been unemployed at home for a while. She experienced significant setbacks at her previous job and decided to pursue a public service career, but that hasn't gone well either. Recently, she has exhibited some alar...

Dr. Wang Chongren reply Psychiatry
Dear Mr. Xiaogang, Hello. Your letter mentioned that your sister is experiencing emotional and behavioral abnormalities due to the frustration of unemployment. It is indeed necessary to encourage her to seek medical attention to obtain a proper diagnosis and initiate active trea...