Psychological state
Hello, Doctor: A few months ago, I went through a period of depression due to a breakup, experiencing insomnia, anxiety, fatigue, burnout, eating disorders, an inability to do anything, and uncontrollable thoughts of suicide.
I have received psychiatric treatment and psychological counseling, and I forced myself to continue exercising, gradually emerging from that quagmire.
Currently, my mood is stable; I can sleep and eat, maintain daily functioning, and engage in conversations and laughter.
However, I still easily fall into a mindset of feeling worthless due to minor setbacks, and while I don't exhibit severe symptoms of depression, my feelings of emptiness remain unchanged.
Two days ago, I accidentally had a breakdown, and in that moment, I clearly saw my future laid out before me, with no other options but death.
This is not an obsession caused by depression; I genuinely feel I have no other choices left, and there is nothing in this world that makes me want to stay.
I have tried talking to friends, but whether through their advice or counseling, it seems no one can understand why I am so stubborn.
This thought, which began as an impulsive feeling a few months ago (I knew deep down that I wouldn’t act on it due to a lack of courage, fear of pain, fear of consequences, and concern for my family’s feelings), has gradually evolved into a rational decision.
If the time comes, I will undoubtedly plan everything and execute it without hesitation.
Currently, I do not have severe depressive symptoms; I can live my life, laugh, and while taking psychiatric medication only provides temporary relief, it does not change this thought.
I am considering whether to impulsively quit my job to take a break and see if there are other possibilities in life, but I fear that I might not find another job with similar benefits, which would lead me to feel even more useless and desperate.
I want to know, do I have other options? Is there still a chance for me to receive help from a mental health professional? Are there other theories that can explain my condition?
Holic, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2017/10/08
Dr. Liu Runqian reply Psychiatry
After treatment for depression, not all symptoms improve immediately; some individuals may still experience residual symptoms.
As mentioned in your text, you are currently attending regular appointments and undergoing psychotherapy.
Please continue to maintain this routine, and discuss your detailed condition with your physician and therapist.
Reply Date: 2017/10/08
More Info
Navigating through the complexities of mental health, especially after experiencing significant emotional distress such as a breakup, can be incredibly challenging. It’s commendable that you have sought professional help through psychiatric treatment and counseling, and that you have actively engaged in physical activities to aid your recovery. These steps are crucial in managing symptoms of depression and anxiety.
Your description of feeling stable in daily life, yet grappling with persistent thoughts of hopelessness and self-worth, is not uncommon among individuals recovering from depression. The feelings of despair you mentioned, particularly the contemplation of suicide, are serious and warrant immediate attention. It’s important to recognize that while you may not currently exhibit severe depressive symptoms, the underlying feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness can still pose significant risks.
Firstly, it’s essential to understand that mental health is not static; it can fluctuate based on various factors, including stressors, life changes, and emotional triggers. The fact that you experienced a breakdown recently indicates that there are unresolved feelings and thoughts that need to be addressed. It’s crucial to continue engaging with mental health professionals who can provide support tailored to your specific needs. If your current therapist or psychiatrist is not meeting your needs, consider seeking a second opinion or finding a different therapist who specializes in trauma or grief counseling.
You mentioned that conversations with friends and counseling have not provided the relief you seek. This can be frustrating, but it’s important to remember that not everyone will understand your experiences fully. Sometimes, it may be beneficial to join support groups where individuals share similar experiences. This can foster a sense of community and understanding, which may help alleviate feelings of isolation.
Regarding your question about options, yes, there are various avenues you can explore. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one effective approach that helps individuals reframe negative thought patterns and develop coping strategies. Mindfulness and acceptance-based therapies can also be beneficial, as they encourage living in the present moment and accepting feelings without judgment. Additionally, exploring creative outlets, such as art or writing, can provide a therapeutic means of expression.
It’s also worth considering lifestyle changes that can enhance your mental well-being. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep are foundational elements that can significantly impact mood and energy levels. Engaging in activities that bring you joy or fulfillment, even if they feel challenging initially, can gradually help rekindle your passion for life.
As for your concerns about medication, it’s important to have an open dialogue with your psychiatrist about your feelings towards the medication you are taking. If you feel that it is not addressing your core issues, discuss the possibility of adjusting your treatment plan. There are various classes of antidepressants and other medications that might be more effective for your situation.
Lastly, remember that it’s okay to take a break and reassess your career and life goals. Sometimes, stepping back can provide clarity and a renewed sense of purpose. It’s important to approach this with a mindset of exploration rather than pressure.
In conclusion, you do have options, and there is hope for a brighter future. Continue to seek help, explore different therapeutic approaches, and engage in self-care practices. Your life is valuable, and there are people and resources available to support you through this journey.
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