Should You Disclose Past Gonorrhea to Your Girlfriend? A Guide - Urology

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Should I be honest with my current girlfriend about having had gonorrhea in the past?


Hello, doctor! I previously had gonorrhea, but I have been cured, and my doctor confirmed that everything is fine during my follow-up visit.
Now that I have a girlfriend, should I be honest with her? If she is not familiar with gonorrhea (a sexually transmitted infection), she might worry about being infected.
I am concerned that if I disclose my past gonorrhea, she might break up with me, but if I don't say anything, I feel guilty for not being honest with her.
I'm really troubled! If she finds out about my gonorrhea history, she might worry about being infected and also about the possibility of our child being infected if we have a natural birth.
Should I be honest? Do women care if a man has a history of gonorrhea?

KK, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2018/03/14

Dr. Du Shixi reply Urology


Hello: If there is a cure, there should be no problem.
As for whether to inform your girlfriend, that may be a personal decision.
Regarding whether a woman would mind if a man has a history of gonorrhea, not everyone shares the same perspective.
Wishing you good health.

Reply Date: 2018/03/14

More Info


When it comes to disclosing past sexually transmitted infections (STIs) like gonorrhea to a partner, the decision can be complex and emotionally charged. Here are some key points to consider regarding this situation.

1. Importance of Honesty in Relationships:
Honesty is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship. Disclosing your past gonorrhea diagnosis can foster trust and open communication between you and your girlfriend. If the relationship is serious, it’s essential to establish a foundation of transparency. While you may fear that revealing this information could lead to a breakup, it’s important to consider the long-term implications of withholding such information. If your girlfriend were to find out later, it could lead to feelings of betrayal and mistrust.

2. Understanding Gonorrhea:
Gonorrhea is a bacterial infection that can be effectively treated with antibiotics. Once treated, it typically does not pose a risk of transmission. However, it’s crucial to ensure that you have completed the treatment and have been cleared by a healthcare professional. You should also consider the potential for reinfection if you engage in sexual activity with someone who has not been tested or treated.

3. Addressing Concerns About Infection:
Your girlfriend may have concerns about contracting gonorrhea, especially if she is not well-informed about STIs. It may be helpful to educate her about gonorrhea, including how it is transmitted, the symptoms, and the fact that it can be treated effectively. Reassure her that you have been treated and are no longer infectious. Open discussions about sexual health can help alleviate fears and promote a safer sexual relationship.

4. Discussing Future Family Planning:
If you and your girlfriend are considering starting a family, it’s natural for her to have concerns about the potential impact of past infections on pregnancy and childbirth. Gonorrhea, if untreated during pregnancy, can pose risks to the baby, including the possibility of passing the infection during delivery. However, if you have been treated and are no longer infected, the risk is significantly reduced. It’s important to communicate this information clearly and sensitively.

5. Seeking Professional Guidance:
If you are unsure about how to approach this conversation, consider seeking advice from a healthcare professional or a counselor. They can provide guidance on how to discuss your past in a way that is informative and reassuring. Additionally, they can help you both understand the importance of regular STI testing and safe sexual practices moving forward.

6. Respecting Her Feelings:
Understand that your girlfriend may have a range of emotions upon hearing about your past. She may feel concerned, anxious, or even upset. It’s important to give her space to process this information and to be prepared for a variety of reactions. Be supportive and patient as she navigates her feelings.

In conclusion, while the decision to disclose your past gonorrhea diagnosis is ultimately yours, it is generally advisable to be open and honest with your partner. This approach not only builds trust but also encourages a healthy dialogue about sexual health and safety. Remember that relationships thrive on communication, and addressing concerns together can strengthen your bond.

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